The Party Line.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLV, Issue 13, 28 September 1910, Page 56

The Party Line.

A Tale of Telephonic Eavesdropping. By Bruno Lessing.

C 7 / LL <he woild loves a lover. f I Cuiiosity, thx name is woman, g J Eavesdroppers never hear g-u l of Lle nise!’. es. 'There you have .ill the philosophical reflection-, th.it lit this l ib*, and without more ado I -diall pro eed to tell you what happened in Brow iisvilb*. 'The Shifrins avere al supper when the telephone bell Ting, ind Mr- Shifrin, with greater alacrity than you would ever have thought tdie could displax—for Mrs Shifrin was jfat—-hastened to take down the receiver. ••That wa-n’l for us.” her husband paid. “It rang lour times, and our call is two ring-.” But Mi- Shifrin put her finger to her lips ami said "Sb! ” and with a smile of jsrraphic content proceeded to listen. At pxactly the same time the Ro-ensteins ,|vere at supper about three blocks down Ithe same street, ami they. too. heard the telephone bell ring. Mrs Rosenstein upset a ehair in her eagerness to answer, avhile her husband, in mild surprise,. B i id: “That wasn’t for us. It rang four time s, and our * all is three.” Mrs Roson-tmn did not even deign to T-ph*. She was li-tcning at the teleiphone, and wii:»t -he and Mrs Shii'rin Qi card was this; “Js that \ on. Sidie?” “Hello. Pa x id.” » ‘ Do you love me as much as ever?” “Aren’t, you terrible to talk like that Over the telephone!” . “But do you?” “’Then give me one-ki-s.” I- “Over the ’phone?” k, <ur<! Here’s a whole lot for you. H's! T-! T-! I-! T-! Now go ahead.” .Long pause, then. “T !” ‘•Xou’re the sweetest girl in the World.” “Say. Dave.” “Yes, sweetheart.” “I asked papa if he knew you —just an a casual sort of way, don’t you know. I didn’t let on about anything—l just wanted to know how ho feels about you. [What did you ever do to him?” “ Nothing. Why?” “Oh. Dave, he’ll never give his consent ! ” “What did ho say about me?” ‘ lie didn’t say anything; it was only the way lie looked at me. Are you sure aon never did anything—oh. good-by, (Dave! I hear him coming down-stairs, (all me up lomoriow, will you?’’ “A’es, darling: at the same time. I Jove ” But just then Sadie hung up the receiver, and the connection was ibroken. Airs Ro-mn-dein-and Mrs Shifrin. three IbLn-ks apart, each sighed blissfully, hung lip the telephone receiver, and again sat down to supper. “What i- the mailer?” a-ked Mr rin. “Oh, it i< so intorc-ting,” bis wife replied. “Every night, just about this time, Davy Rosnofskv calls up Sadie Al. cl bin <m the telephone. ami they have Fmdi a spoony conversation. I xvoudn’t miss it for anything.” Mr Shifrin fi<wned. “1- it nice to li-ten to oiher p -ijdi’s conversation?” Die a-ked. “How would you like anyone to listen t<> wli il \<m are -.lying?” “(Hi, I .don't care who listens to what I -ay.” .-aid Mr- sh’frin with a disdainful t( -- of h< r held. •’But Sadie’s father would be awfully mad- if he knew what was going mi. I wondei whether tbex’ll get married.” The same eonvci-ation took place at the -.line time in the household of the llto-en-t vin-. Both husb.ands. being learned in the Talmud, expressed their disapprobation ami piid no further attention Io ibe matter, lor all Talmudists know that he who undertake- to reguftilc Ihe foibles and weaknesses of a woman embarks upon a perilous sea. Ami neither R<»-en-(<‘in nor shifrin was a good sailor. The follow ing night the telephone bell • gain rang four times, and both Mrs Fhii'iin and Mrs Ro-enstein hurried to ♦he receiver. “I- that yon. dear?’* ‘ Hello, Dave. Gh, I’m in terrible trouble!”*

“What’s the matter, darling? Tell me, quickly!” “Papa wants me to marry that horrid Lowenthal just because he has lots of money, and -ami—boo-boo—l’m terribly unhappy!” •'Don’t cry. dearest. Don't you worry about it at all. I’ll break that Lowenthal’s face. Can you come out to-night?” ‘‘l'm afraid, David. Papa is so terribly suspicious.” “Just say you’re going out to the square to listen to the music and I'll meet von there !:v accident.” “All right, dear, l.'ll do my best. It I don’t come you'll know it’s 'because I couldn’t get out.” “Do you love me a lot, Sadie?” “M-m-ni — you bet! Good-by.” “Moe,” said Mrs Shifrin to her husband. “let’s go out to the square tonjght and listen to the music.”

“Isidore.’’ said Mrs Rosenstein. to her husband. “woudn’t you like to come out to the square to-night and get some fresh air? The band will be playing.” To this day neither Shifrin nor Rogenstein understands clearly why bis wife, instead of sitting down upon the first vacant beiu h they came to insisted upon dragging him around, into the thickest of the crowd, and pushing and circling about until they came to the farthest edge of the throng. And there, where the music could only be faintly heard, Mr- Rosenstein and Mrs Shifrin stood con tcn ted, unmindful of each other's presence, gazing steadily at a young man and a young woman who seemed to be entirely absorbed in each other. Neither Mr Shifrin nor Mr Rosenstein had the slightest interest in the telephonic love affair of David Rosnoisky ami Sadie Malbin. They had. both of them, dom* what little they could to discourage their wives in their eavesdropping habit ami had refused to discuss the matter. But there is such a thing as unconscious or subconscious absorption. Before ano! her week had passed both of them, without being aware of the fact, knew nearly every detail of the situation. One n ght. for instance, while Mi- Shifrin was leading the Jewish Workingman his wife, after a long session at the telephone. -aid to him, “Davy gave Sadie a ring with a diamond in it.*’ “I thought they had quarrelled and were never going to speak to each other tigain,” remarked her husband. “Oh. that was all patched up. Davy admitted he was in the wrong.” And Mr- Ro-mi-tein. interruptihg her hu-band in a game of checkers with the rabbi, said. “lie took her to the theatre List night.”

“But 1 thought,” said Air Koseustein absent-mindedly, “that he said he hud to work and could’nt take her.” Which merely goes to show that a husband, without the slightest interest in the gossipy prattle of his wife, somehow or other absorbs everything tshe says. One night when the telephone belt rang four times Airs Shifrin and Airs Rosenstein overheard the following: ‘,‘There’s no other way out of it, Sadie dear.” “But why can't you wait, Davy?” “Wait? I've waited too long altogether. It’s next Sunday night or never.” “You're so cruel.” “I’m not a bit cruel, Sadie. Didn’t you say that if your father insisted on your marrying that scoundrel you would give up (‘verything and marry me?” “But maybe papa will change his mind, dear!” “He'll change his face and his feet and his head and his lungs an.d his live* first.” “Aren't you terrible. Dave?” “Now, I’ll tell you what to do, girlie. Sunday night, at ten o’clock, I’ll be waiting for you outside the house in a carriage. You take just what you need and no more and come out. i'll arrange

all the rest. Now, there's no use talking about it. I’ll be there, and if you don’t come out. I'll know you don't love me. Good-by.” Airs. Rosenstein gasped. Mrs. Shifrin gasped. And each hastened to her husband and proclaimed the startling news; “’They're going to elope next Sunday night at ten o'clock!” “It's not nice to listen,’’ was Mr. Shii’rin’s only comment. “I wish you would mind your own hu-iness,” said Air. Rosenstein to his spon-e. And you would have been willing to swear that both of them immediately forgot the matter. A few evenings later, however. Shifrin and Rosenstein happened to meet in Schon-tein's cafe, and played a game of chess. During the game they chatted about everything that entered their heads, but not a word was said about tin* telephonic love affair, and probably not a word would have been said bad not Mr. Malbin, the father of Sadie, en-teied the cafe, and sat down at their table to watch the game. Shifrin was losing, and all hi- menial faculties were concentrated upon the disposition of his men. But while he was thinking hard about ehe-s bis tongue ran on nimbly, answering Mr. Mai bi’-'.- questions, hardIv aware of what he was -axing until - of a sudden -Air. Malbin’s list came down upon the table with a crash, and “It's a lie!” he cried. Shifrin started, looked up, forgot all about playing chess, and after q.iitr a perceptible interval of time realised that lie had said: “I understand your girl Sadie is sweet? on Davy Ro-uof-kx.” lie noxv .stared at Mr. Malbin's glaring countenance, collected hi> scattered wit a. and ax a- about tn reply, when Rosensleiu, feeling hiuiaclf called upon

+ o defend the integrity of his friend, said: “Air. Alalbin. it is not a lie. Of course, it is none of our business, but everybody knows the young people* are in love with each other. Didn't he give her a diamond ring?” “Didn't they meet in the square the other nigflit?” asked Shifrin. “Isn’t it all arranged that they're going to elope on Sunday night?” said Rosenstein. Air. Alalbin looked from one to Die other, speechle.-s with rage. 'Then, without a word, he rose and strode from the room. “I’m sorry T -aid a word,” said Shifrin meekly. “So am I,” said Ro-en-tein. “What did you do it for?” “It just slipped out.” explained Shifrin. “I really wasn't thinking when 1 spoke.” A light suddenly dawned upon Rosonstein. •‘Say,” he said, “your telephone is on the same party line as ours. Does your wife listen, too?’’ -Shifrin nodded. “Well,” said Rosenstein, “it's a silly business. Put I guess we’d better not itell them what happened to-night.” And Shifrin agreed. On Sunday night Airs. Shifrin, out for a late stroll, happened to meet Airs. Rosenstein directly in front of Air. Alalbin’s house. They paused to chat with each other. They discussed the Aveather, ithe now style in hats, the best place for marketing, and the best treatment for influenza; but though. ever ami anon, they cast a glance at the windows of Mr. Alalbin'- house, neither of •them -aid a single word about what was uppermost in her mind. Presently a carriage drove up. and David Rosnofsky

alighted and stood on the sidewalk, looking up at one of the windows. Mrs. Shifrin and Mrs. Rosenstein watched him, as if s]M*llbomid. "Ilieir conversation ceased. David begun to whistle

softly. The window that he wa watching was niiddtmly opened, ami a drenching shower of water descended upon him. followed swiftly by a wooden pail that fell squarely upon his head. Then Mr. Malbin, grinning triumphantly, leaned out of the window. ’ You little loafer!” he cried. “If I ever catch you around here again. I will have you arrested.’’ Mr-. Rodenstein and Mrs. Shifrin had screamed when the pail fell upon David. Now they separated without saying a single word to each other, and hurried home. When David reached home to nurse his bruised crown, he found a note fi <»m Sadie that had been delivered a few minutes after he left his room. “Do not come to-night.” it ran. “Papa knows everything. Mr. Rodenstein and Mr. Shifrin told him. and he is waiting with a pail of water to throw it on you when you come.—Sadie.’’ David went to S -hons-iein's cafe, where he found Shifrin and Rodenstein playing chess. “Tell me all about it/’ lie said, in a calm, low voice. The two men looked at him, and there was that in his countonanee that stmt a chill down their spines. I list inct ively each clutched him by an arm. “Believe me. 1 am innocent’” said Shifrin. “I did not «Io it on purpose’” cried Rosenstein. "Listen, and I will tell you every t hi ng.” David listened. When he learned that all his talks with Sadie had been overheard by the two women he Hushed furiously. Then he said: “You are a pair of old women. T will deride what I am going to do. T know I should give you both a good beating. Maybe 1 will do it. But promise me <mv thing, and I will forgive “(hi my sacred word of honour!” exclaimed Shifrin. And, “(hi the Torah!” cried Ro-eustein. "Promise me that to-morrow night at ten o’clock you will both bp in the square near the mi. <ic-"tand. waiting for me. and that you will not tell a living soul- not even your wives — where you are going.” They promised. Without the faintest idea of what they were to encounter, they promised faithfully to keep the tryst, ami to maintain absolute secrecy. I’he following night, at the UMial time, the bell rang four limes, and Mrs. Shifrin and Mrs. Rodenstein promptly took their places at the telephone. “My heart is breaking, David!” they heard. "Do not worry, sweetheart. All will come out. right in the end. I missed your note by a few minutes, hut you hive nothing to blame yourself for. Cai yon come out to-night?” “Oh, dear no. Papa is home, and ■Won’t let me leave the house.” "Don’t worry, dear. I'll call you up again in about an hour. By the way. I saw an awfully funny thing last night. Re-member those two blonde actresses in the Yiddish theatre who are boarding with the Cohens? They were out last night with Mr. Shifrin and Mr. Rii-im-tein. sitting in the «piaro right under the electric light. What do you think of the old rascal"'.’’ “(Hi. David! Aren’t they terrible! Why. l hey’re both married.” Iml when you think of their wives, you really can’t blame them ><» mmh. I heard them ask the girls to med them again tonight at the same place at den o’clock.” I would like to make char to you t -\ a< ly how Mrs. RoM-n-tein and Mik Shifrin fell, but I cannot do it. There is a limit to cvei\\ man’s descript i\ e powers, and 1 have roa-ched mine. Be sides. I doubt il the language contains the assortment of words that would be required. At any rale, their first impulse \\a«s to lly at their liU"bands and de iiounee them, and, being women, their si <-md thought was to r< "ort to a round about course. “You didn’t tell nic where you wont I .-! night,” remarked Mi", shifrin with great self-control. "Where 1 always go-do the cafe.” an swered her husband, without even looking up from liir» new "paper. “J suppose you’re going there tonigb “Yc" —er that is. no.” Air. Shifrin looked up at hi wife. *T have an engagonl'nt to nigh ,” be said, “and 1 promised to tell nobody about it. So don’t a k any question-.” M:-. Shifrin wnt into another room and b-'gaii to vry soitlv. After all the<#» rears—-he had been «-uch a dutiful wife

—to deceive her so, etc., etc. And in the meantime Mra. Rodenstein, who had had her soft little cry first, decided to ask no questions hut to learn for herself. ’ ■, v . At ten o’clock Rosenstein and Shifrin were seated upon a bench close by the music-stand, looking at each other. “What did he want us to come here for?” asked Rosenstein. “Maybe we are going to lie arrested or killed,” suggested Shifrin. They waited, and then —out of the darkness emerged two female figures. “Oh, you old grey-haired wretches!” cried one. “You spend your nights at the cafe. Bah!” exclaimed the other. “Waiting for two bleached-blonde actresses! At your age!” (You see how difficult it is for a woman to be blonde without also becoming Ibleached.) And the next moment both women were in hysterics, while their husbands, in hopeless amazement, looked from one to the other, waiting for a coherent explanation. Then came a messenger boy. “Iss here two mans vol iss Rosenstein unt Shifrin? I haf a letter.” “My dear friends,” the letter ran, “I want to make an apology. 1 thought I saw you both with two ladies the other night, but I find I was mistaken. It was not you. It was two younger men. better looking, with a great deal more brains tha.n you will ever have. Anyway, 1 didn’t tell it to anybody except Miss Malbin, and I told her to-day 1 was mistaken. -So nobody will ever know. I only apologise because 1 am so noble ami good that 1 would not oven have a wrong thought about a man. Nobody else will ever know of it except some sneaking person -who might by accident ‘have been listening over the telephone. But nobody that I can think of would be so low down mean. Respectfully your friend, DAVID ROSNOFSKY.” Mrs. Rosenstein and Mrs. Shifrin were weeping bitterly upon their husbands’ shoulders. Their spirits were crushed; there was nothing to say, nothing to think, nothing to do but weep. Their husbands attempted, 'mechanically, to soothe theifi. but I doubt if they went about it with any great enthusiasm, for Rosenstein says that every time he looked at Shifrin lie found Shifrin winking at him. Then Mr. Malbin arrived, frowning and impatient. ‘ Well, what is it?” he demanded. “What do you want?” They all looked at him. “I don’t want anything,” said Shifrin. and Rosenstein echoed it. “Didn't you just telephone me to meet you here right away because it was a case of life and death?” Shifrin and Rosenstein looked at each other blankly. “We didn’t telephone anybody about anything. We don't use the telephone.” And then a light dawned upon Mai, bin, and without another word he turned upon Ills heels and ran, at full speed, all the way to his home. A note was pinned on the door. It ran: Dear Fa ther-in-Law. —I am sorry I had to do it, but in this world all is for the best. You hang around the house so much that I had to get you out by a trick. Well, Sadie and I will be married by this time and on our way to Niagara Falls. Better forgive us and telegraph us whatever you think you can spare. Your loving son-in-law, DAVID. P.S.—‘Sadie sends a kiss. Me too.