Musings Meditations

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLI, Issue 25, 16 December 1908, Page 2

Musings Meditations

By

Dog Toby

AN INTERVIEW

J WAS very fortunate in being able te> obtain an interview with Uriah B. Higgins, of the United States, who is visiting the colony to study our institutions, and. incidentally, to push the sale of a new machine for miming meat that is intended for consumption by domestic felines who may be suHering from imperfect dental equipment ami impaired digestive organs. That is how he himself described his great invention, and lie anticipated a ready sale, as he heard New Zealand possessed a number of old cats who were most profoundly reverenced and held in great awe by. influential Ministers’, of State. 1 asked him his opinion of the colony in general, knowing that, as h<? had only been here two months, his judgment would be valuable and profound. IL thought full y chewed the end of a cigar, suggested drinks, which I declined, and, after calculating that New Zealanders were rum cusses and this was the darudest funny country he had ever struck, ho suddenly recollected himself, and proceeded as follows: “Stranger, if this interview is going to be printed, you can just tell them this. Uriah B- Higgins has travelled some, and this is just, about Ihe cutest, neatest, best little country he has ever struck. You have the finest harbours in the world; 1 have seen Rio and Sydney, which are mere puddles compared to Auckland. Your people are the most intelligent I have come across; I was surprised at the great amount of knowledge* they seemed to possess on all subjects under the sun. Your railways afford a valuable object lesson to other lands. You don’t rush from place to place, but take plenty of time to see the country. I noticed in your main streets a delightful variety of archit.(*cture. Large brick luiildings side by side with imodest. unpretentious, two-storey wooden structures. How charming, how rustic is your little railway station in Auckland. adorned as it is with genuine works of art. You seem to me. to be a really progressive people, and capable of appreciating a good thing when you see it. Now that little invention of mine—— O O <> “ Never mind the invention,” I replied, “ but I should tike to’ hear what you think of our politics.” “ 1 took great interest in your elections,*’ he answered, “and I got a map of the results. From what T gather, the No-license party won a. great victory. Aou are a wonderful people, you have solved al! the great political problems that have puzzled the world for centuries past, and now you have only one issue. 1 noticed on .my electoral map that the licensed area, coloured black, is not largo, and the reduction areas seemed to be increasing. 1 understand that you still have a Government and Opposition, wbicli are divided, only on the question of a three-fill hs ami a Iran* majority. But people didn’t seem to take much interest in whether a Government or Opposition man got in. L'hey labelled them brewers' candidates, and nolieonse candidates, but I could never tell which was Ward's party and which Massey’s. Your politics are a little puzzling to an outsider. You have tin* finest little coiuitry on earth, and I admire your different political institutions. There is no doubt your peoph* an* happy and contented. lam told you have no strikes or Li hour troubles, that business is thriving, that farmers are prosperous. Y our public buildings would be a credit to any country in the world, and compare more than favourably with anything to Im; seen in London or Paris. You have fine parks and open spaces, splendidly furnished museums and libraries, an almost perfect system of rapid transport by land and sea. Your up-to-date, progressive townships speak volumes for the energy, resource fulness and hustle of your citizens. Wellington is the most beautifuWy hiid-oiiu city 1 have seen, and the Auckland University is a model of what a seal oi learn-

ing ought to bi*. You tell your peoplcf that Uriah B. Higgins considers them The finest people under God’s sun, their country the greatest he has seen, their political institutions the most marvellous and ideally perfect that. Ire has yet come across. Tell them that, it may help to sell my lit th? invention.” Uriah B. glanced at me to see if 1 had got it all down. In spite of his altogether masterly grasp of New Zealand politics, his interest in no-license was purely aca<b*mic, and did not prevent him from mixing, or “ building,” as lie called if, sundry strange drinks of which he partook from time to time. Under their mellow and truth-compelling influence he proceeded to give me his real and honest opinion, as a citizen of the United States, “ the greatest, country on earth,” of our co’ony and all its ways. He expressed Jiimself freely on the subject of our trains, our politics, our intelligence, prohibition, public buildings, and other items. These remarks, however, were not intended for publication. I fear, if printed, they would not help to sell “his little invention.”