In the Beginning of Things

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXV, Issue 2, 15 July 1905, Page 24

In the Beginning of Things

Jsp

Little Johnny

T NILE NED, he sed, Uncle Ned J did, di ever tel you about wot makes the owl look so wise? I sed no, he dident, and he sed wen the owl was created he was the foolest lookin herd that you ever se, but he was smarter than a wip. It dident do him no good for to be so elevver, cos none of the other herds an’ anmals wuld bleeve it, but only jest laugh fed at him, and sed, Wot do you kno about it, iddiot? So he went to Addam and sed, Se hero, mister, line Diity tierd lookin like this. Addam he sed. Same here, ole man, Wot can we do for each uther? The owl he thot a wile, and then he Bed, You make me look real w ize, and if you are ever overrun with yello leg pullets He stand by you in yure t rubble and help you for to thin them out, cos one good turn deserts a uther. Addam he sed, He do it, but you must remember this is a imperfeck werld and no feller can have evry thing good wich is going. So Addam he Hang him in to a deep sleep, ami wen he woke up he went to a pool of deer water for to drink. He seen his reileckshon in the water and jump! back and sed, Hoo! Addam he sed. Its you, you fool. I have made you the wizest lookin feller w ich I knew how. But at the same time he had made him sech a gum dasted iddiot that he cant say eny thing only but jest hoo, hoo, hoo. But he is beleeved to be so w ize. that evry thing wich is in the world hates him. and he is afrade for to go out in the day time, for they wuld tare him to peeces. Johnny, that wil teech you for to be content with yure looks, jest as von was made, and nex time you se yure angel sister a primpin her self wen she is ex pec kJ in her yung man you may tel her about the ow l. But my sister is the best lookin gerl in town, and Bildad, thats the new dog, is a other, and Mose, wich is the cat, can lick Bildad. If 1 was cats an dogs J wudent be so fity. but wuld obay my mother and go to Suiidy skoal, for the Bible it ses onestv is the best politicks. Ale and my father is Repubcans. but Mr Brily, the fat Bucher, he is a Noble of the Mistick Slim? and can skin sheeps. I a-I I nelr Ned wot makes the ratio

snake have ratles on his tail, and he sed, Johnny, he dont. That is a optiekle alushion wich is du to the idleness of observers wich wont exainin the ratler real close to. Wot they mistake for ratles is the last joints of the spine of his back bone. It come about this way. The ratler he was created so ugly that it strangled him for to look at himself, and wen he dru near any thing for to be sochiable it phled amain! Wei. 1 day he shedded his skin, like ol snakes do, and a other snake he shedded hisen same

time. So the ratler he crold in to the other snakes skin for to hide his ugly, but it was a inch or 2 too short and the bones of the spine of his baek tliay stick out and ratle wen he. shakes with frite, wich is frequent. Wot skares him the wurst is wen a boy is about to step on him with his bare frets. Johnnv, von

shade be kind to the poor ratler and not step on him if thare is plenty room. And now, Johnny, He tel you a story bout a ratler and a feller wich drinked wisky’, wich is equal pizen. Me and the feller and Dockter Mutner was in the mountins a huntin. The dockter he had took along a jug of wisky, wich was for to cure snake bites. One day him and me we went out for to shoot bares, and wen we come home to camp the feller he was a ly in in the tent with the jug in his arms, ded drunk, he dident kno a thing. Johnny; its offle for to se a drinkard wen he is himself, and I tore my hair and bewhailed both loud and sril. But the dockter he jest braced his back again a big tie for to think, and bime by he sed, I got it, I got it! Then he rusht away, but prety soon he come back with a ratle snake in the end of a long split stick, wich lie" poked at the drinkerd, and it bit him menny a time and oft. Johnny, it sou mis like a misterry, and I wuldent ask you to bleeve it if 1 dident tel it my own self, but them snake bites restord the feller to helth and yousefleness, and he leept in to the primevil forrest and run away’, and he is now lioldin a ofiee of trust and proftit in lllinoy. I ast Uncle Ned wot become of the ratle snake, and he sed, Uncle Ned did, Thats a mity sad story. Johnny, and I dont like to speak about it. We took the snake out side the tent and let him go, and ferst thing he done was to ti hisself in to a double bo not. Then he stood on his lied and -whaved his tail in the breeze and sed he was the Queen of Shehv!

But Billy, thats my brother, he ses that if Uncle Ned didnt give us candy and tak us to the elm and make boes and arroes for us he wuld be a lieer.

Injens eats snakes, but giv me mints pi witli plenty spice, and a aplc dumplin and some sqiiosh and a spung cake and a lot of sossidge and plenty pickles and some chickin gizzerds, wich is the stuf of life!