HERE AND THERE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXV, Issue 2, 15 July 1905, Page 14

HERE AND THERE.

A Fable from Broadway. Funny passer-by: “What are you digging for. my mail*” Subway excavator: “Money.” F. P.-B.: “When do you expect to come Subway Excavator: “Saturday night.” Scared Out. lie sold a little block of stock: Now sorrow fills his cup, For from the moment that he did, Up. Right Went Thing Blamed The Give 'em Ditto. One of th.? bo.-t things in some recently published reminiscences of the American Civil War is a pretty contrast between the methods of two generals. For instance, while General Cheetham, when excited, by combat, invariably yelled, “Give 'em hell, boys!” General Polk was a strict Episcopalian. True, ho shared General ( herd ham's sentiments, but episcopally he could not countenance General Cheetham's language. So he shouted, “Give it to 'em boys! Give 'em what General Cheetham says!” Life’s Average. I never talk Philosophy lake Pessimists an’ such, - Who try to make a feller think That Life ain’t nothin’ much. I guess there never wnz a .spot Where shadders didn’t fall; • But shudder’s just the other side O' sunshine after all. An’ there ain’t.no use in fumin’ When the world seems out o’ gear, For music's always in the air, An’ love, an’ song, an’ cheer Jest keeps a feller’s spirits up, An’ kinder makes him glad. An’ comp what will, he’s bound to think Life ain’t so awful bad. Sometimes a feller has tor weep, Sometimes he has to laugh. The shadders an' the sunshine mix, Jest kinder half an' half. Breaks Ten Thousand Eggs a Day. Every careful housewife knows that the surest precaution against stale eggs is to break each one individually into a cup before adding it to others in a bowl. On a gigantic scale the same care is observed in the large bakeries, and one in London employs several men who spend ten hours a day breaking eggs used in the various mixtures. Devoting themselves to breaking alone, they have gained such expertness that an old hand will break one thousand eggs an hour or ten thousand in a working day. Just as He Thought. A sbiall boy was reciting in a geography class, says the “Ladies’ Home Journal.” The teacher was trying to teach him the points of tin? compass. She explained : “On* your right is the south, your left the north, ami in front of you is the cast. Now. what is behind you?” The boy studied foi a moment, then puckered up his face and bawled: “I know it. I told ma you’d sec that patch in my pants.’’ Bridegrooms Ignored. Bridegrooms are usually considered necessary to the wedding festivities the world over, about the only land where they are regarded as unnecessary being Polynesia. There the young man who would a-wooing go turns the matter over to his parents ami friends and takes to the woods —no dillicult matter in that part of the country.

The family proceed to traffic with the parents of the bride-elect, and after a more or less extended palaver the arrangements are brought to a satisfactory conclusion. Then ensues a festal time, with feasting. speechmaking, and other forms of celebration, until at last the nuptials are announced and the groom makes his appearance among his friends, in theory at least, sufficiently hungry for human companionship to regard his bride with more than usual complacency. A Pretty Wit. Dr. Jowett, of Oxford, was a formidable wit. At a gathering at which lie was present, the talk ran upon the comparative gifts of two Baliol men who had been, respectively, made a judge and a bishop. Professor Henry Smith, famous in his day for his brilliancy, pronounced the bishop to be the greater man of the two for this reason: ‘‘A judge, at the most, can only say, ‘You be hanged,’ whereas a bishop can say, ‘You be damned.’ ” “Yes,” said Dr. Jowett. “but if the judge says, ‘You be hanged,’ you are hanged.’’ Take Things as They Come. Got t' take things os they cum; If ain’t no use t' make a fuss: When yew rip an’ swan? erround. ’Pears thet alius makes things wuss. Got t’ take things es they cum; Ilain’t no use t’ sweat an’ stew; Dadburn sun can’t alius shine, Ner th’ sky be alius blue. Got t’ take things es they cum; Bitter dose ’long with th’ 'sweet; Now an’ then yew'll find a thorn On life's path t’ prick yer feet. Got t’ take things es they cum; Not set down with hope 'most gone, But jes’ face misfortune brave: Grit yewr teeth an’ push right on. —Chicago “Tribune.” The„ Grip Courteous. Professor Shouter was taking leave of a pupil who bad been a member of his elocution class for several sessions, amt was giving him a few parting "pointers” as to how he should comport himself at a church soiree where the pupil was shortly to give a recital. \\ hen you have finished your recital.” said the professor, "bow gracefully ami leave the platform on tiptoe.” Why on tiptoe?” queried the embryo* elocutionist. So as not to awake the audience,’'* replied the instructor. Curious Devices of Bankers. Some amusing anecdotes are being told of the devices resorted to by cis to gain time and inspire confidence. On one memorable occasion the excited subscribers of a Chicago bank, much to their indignation, were only able to enter the bank one by one exceptat the cost of spoiled coats, as the cute manager had caused the doorposts to be freshly painted. Another bank prevented a crisis in its affairs by exhibiting in the windows large tubs apparently brimful of sovereigns. I hese tubs, however, simply were upside down, and only a small quantity of gold was piled up on their bottoms. But the most ingenious dodge of all •was sucees-fully carried out in Buenos Ayres recently. There was a run on a largo bank, and for several days subscribers besieged the premises, withdrawing money and placing it in another bank on the opposite side of the road, it happened, however, that these two institutions hail a private understanding, and as fast as the “safe” bank received the deposits they were returnoil to the “unsafe” one by an underground passage, with the result that, everyone marvelled at its continued ability to meet its demands.

Something Wrong. The Bishop of Worcester, on alighting from a train at Paddington, asked a porter to see after his luggage. “How many articles are there, sirf* asked the porter. “Thirty-nine,” replied the Bishop abstractedly. ' The man came back and said he could find only two. Luiurious. James 11. Hyde, storm centre of the Equitable fight in New York over extravagant expenditure by the directors, is said to have one of the finest stables ■in America. The stables are ruled over by Francis Gerillot, a Parisian, who was with William K. Vanderbilt for years. Mr. Hyde has an office in the stable, a room full of telephones and electric bells, furnished with fine carpets, old mahogany furniture, sporting photographs and prints, coaching trophies, and hunting horns. Next to his office is the kitchen, which permits him and his guests to come when the whim seizes them and have supper in tho stables more freely and gayly than in the chateau. Idyll. In Switzerland, one idle day. As on the grass at noon we lay, Caine a grave peasant child and stood Watching the strangers eat- their food. And what we ottered her she took In silence, with her quiet look, And when we rose to go, content Without a word of thanks, she went. Another day in sleet and rain 1 chose the meadow path again. And partly turning chanced to see My little guest friend watching me With eyes half hidden by her hair, Blowing me kisses, unaware That I had seen, and still she wore The same grave aspect as before. And some recall for heart's delight A sunrise, some a snowy height, And I a little child who stands And gravely kisses both her hands. —Hugh Maenaghten, In "The Spectator.” Boring Glass. A scientific authority says that holes of any size desired may be bored in glass by the following method: Get a small three-cornered file and grind the points from one corner, and the bias from the other, and set the file in a brace, such as is used in boring wood. Lay the glass in which 'he holes are io be bored on a smooth surface, covered with a blanket and begin to bore a hole. When you have made a slight impression on the glass, place a disc of putty around it, and fill with water to prevent too great heating by friction. Continue boring the hole, which will be as smooth as one bored in wood with an auger. It Reminded Him. The best remedy against a lapse of memory is the piece of thread tied about the finger. But there is a well-authen-ticated case of a man whose wife tied a piece of thread around his finger in the morning to remind him to get his hair cut. On his way home to dinner he noticed the piece of thread. “Yes, I remember,” he said, and, smiling proudly, entered the usual shop and sat down before the accustomed artist. “Why, I ent your hair this morning, sir!” said the astonished barber. For tire King. The construction of the now yacht for King Edward 111., designs for which wore invited from private firms, is to be undertaken by the well-known yacht builders, Messsrs. A. and J. Inglis, of Glasgow. This new vessel is primarily, intended for short cruises, and entrance to harbours of comparatively shallow draft. The yacht will measure 285 ft in length by 40ft beam, and be of 2000 tons. A noticeable feature of the vessel is that it is to be propelled by Parsons marine turbines, which will be arranged in the orthodox manner, with one high-pres-sure turbine in the centre, and a lowprossure turbine on either side. A cruising speed of 17 knots is anticipated, with an astern speed of 13 knots. Stean» is to be raised in a battery of cylindrical boilers. T".

>A. Sure Call. In England there's a pretty little country hotel known as the Rose Tavern. Close at hand, in the hotel grounds, is a quaint old ivy-mantled chapel. If the hotel becomes overcrowded, as it does now and then, they put away the guests in the chapel. A travelling man occupied it one night. At six o’clock the next mooting the loud pealing of the cl | pel bell roused the night clerk, who rushed over to the chapel in great alarm, and encountered the travelling man. “Are you the night clerk’’’ asked the travelling man. “I am,” said the night clerk; “what’s the jolly row?” “Well, for heaven’s sake,” said the travelling man, “rush me over a cocktail to pew 13.” The Calamity. AU at once the street car sort o' hopped. And thou, with a jolt and bump, it stoped. For another car was just ahead. As motionless as it ’twere dead, Another car was ahead of that. Two men inside, one lean, one fat, Ami ahead of that was another*] car. .With one lone man of the (1. A. R, Another car was ahead of that. In which a sleeping copper sat. And another car ahead of that, .Was as empty as a looted flat. Ahead of that was another car, And ahead of that another car, And ahead of that another car, And ahead of that another car. And another car ahead of that, And another car ahead of that. And another car ahead of that, And other cars ahead of those. And still more cars ahead of those. And ahead of those were others still, And stretching ahead were others still. While each was silent as the tomb And a veritable eave of gloom. For a waggon tilled with soft coal slack Had broken down on the street car track. — Chicago •‘Tribune.” To Preserve a Husband. Select a nice, kind, amiable, industrious and generous man. and prepare him for the ordeal of making him go through a long engagement, which effectually rentiers him easy to handle. Gently detach him from all old friends and acquaintances, and remove, any bad. habits he might have. To preserve, deprive him of his latchkey and throw a handful of mother-in-law in the house. Shred him of all of his finer feelings of nagging and pound them into a pulp by complaints. When he has simmered down put as much love into the heart as it will hold, add an ocean of sympathy, a word of tenderness, a pound of forbearance, and a ton or so of patience.—“ Chicago Re-cord-Herald.” The Origin of Slang. “Here’s where I butt in,” said the goat, making for the children. “Come off your perch,” growled tabby, making another spring at the cage. “I’m in the soup,” gasped the oyster, as he dropped to the bottom of the plate. “You’re a bird,” said the fox, as he gobbled up another hen. "I’ve got the drop on you,” shrieked the hawk, as he landed on another phicken. “Things are coming my way,” said the bear, dodging another bullet. "-My goose is cooked,” said Ihe wild gander, dropping to the ground with a broken wing. “Quit your kidding.” exclaimed the fish, as the bait dropped into the water. “Those fellows are nutty,” said the rabbit, pointing to the squirrel family eating lunch. “Stuck again,” cried the fly, alighting on the sticky paper. “I can see my finish,” murmured the lamb, as he entered the slaughter pen. The Life of the Coming Man. At 1 year old—Changed from patent mixtures to kitchen food. At 3 years old—Entered polytechnieal kindergarten. At 5 years old—Entered in primary department of public schools. At 7 years old—Sent to college preparatory school. At 9 years old—A freshman. At 11 years old—Received his degree. At 15 years old—Made superintendent of the Whoopemalong Manufacturing Company. At 18 years old —Mail? president of the Rushemtodetb Trust.

At 21 years old—Elected to a dozen directorates. At 25 years old—Given control of the Blow and Brag Railway Company in addition to his other interests. At 35 years old —Forcibly retired frcra work, having reached the age limit. At 38 years old—Made chairman emeritus of some more directorates. At 40 years old—Officially notified to quit thinking. At 50 years old —Ordered to cease indulging in reminiscences. At GO years old —Chloroformed, The Growls of a Grizzled Bachelor. A curiosity is a woman without any. Think it over. A widow generally seems to enjoy her weeds as much as a widower does his Weed. When some couples agree to marry, that’s the last thing they ever do agree on. Lover’s quarrels lack zest because there is no possibility of a divorce to follow. A woman feels that she is not half appreciated unHess she is exaggerated about twenty times. Oh. if only a woman could lose the combination of her vocabulary, and never, never find it! With the exception of yourself, my dear madam, all women are more or less deceitful. You can always flatter a fat girl—or a thin one, either, for that matter —■ by accusing her of being a flirt. But don’t do it—she’ll try to flirt with you. The average woman's mind is like a crazy-quilt, ami she gives her husband irregular pieces of it at irregular intervals. It must be love that makes a girl with a name like Millicent Marjory Montgomery pine and pale unless she can change it to Sogbaek or Babbs or something equally as repulsive.

The Fashion in Perfumes The best customers for perfumes are the royal ladies of the countries of the Middle East. Lavish use of scents, it is explained, is a custom that, after all, is traced directly to the more barbarous races, and their descendants. Women of the harems of the Sultan of Turkey, the Shah of Persia, and the Khedive of Egypt, use more perfumery, and pay more for it, than do the entire royal households of some of the principal countries of Europe. Next to such courts comes the Imperial Court of Russia. A first shipment of a novelty in sweet smells is always sent to those courts, and if a favourable verdict is given the manufacturer feels fairly confident that he has compounded a commodity that will sell well —at least, until some more attractive novelty is presented, tine of the daintiest of recent discoveries in new perfumes is distilled from the Japanese lotus lily, which retains its freshness and delightful odour for a very long time. The fair experts who spend their days in the harem of hte Sultan Abdul Hamid at Constantinople were among the first to discover the agreeable qualities of this scent, which now rivals in their affections the ‘’Turkish Delight” of traditional memory. The old custom of saturating the handkerchief or the clothing with perfume* has now almost died out, at least in royal circles, and the wearing of the sachet has become almost an art. It is worn in the corset sometimes, and sometimes in the hem of the underskirt. It has even been carried in a secret receptacle in the handle of a parasol. For evening wear a narrow sachet is sewn all round the top of the opera

corset, and sometimes a small sachet is carried in the ornaments in the hair. It is said that Queen Alexandra has a predilection for a preparation which has been in use in the English Royal Household since 1829. The secret of the recipe is, it is stated, securely kept, but among the essences used in its manufacture are musk, attar of roses, violet, jasmine, and lavender. Mutual Recognition. A certain American lawyer many years ago went to a Western State, but , as he got no clients and stood a good chance of starving to death, he decided to return eastward again. Without any money he got into a train for Nashville, Tenn., intending to seek employment as reporter on one of the daily newspapers. When tl-.e conductor called for his ticket he said: “1 am on the staff of , of Nashville; I suppose you will pass me?” The conductor looked at him sharply. “The editor of that paper is in the smoker. Come with me. If he identifies you, all right,” lie followed the conductor into the smoker; the situation was explained. Air Editor said: “Oh, yes. I recognise him as one of the stall'; it is all right.” Before leaving the train the lawyer again sought the editor. “Why did you say you recognized inc? I’m not on your paper.” “I'm not the editor either. I'm travelling on his pass, and was scared to deatii lest you should give me away.”

Race Antipathies. Of the antipathetic nationalities, the must marked enmity seems to exist between the English and (he Hermans (says a writer in the “Argonaut,** in an aitiele on “Winter Resorts in Egypt”*. This is odd, fur there ought to more acrid causes of hostility between Germany and other nations France, for example. Yet while the French in Egypt do not consort with the Germans, neither lo they seem to hate them so bitterly as do the English, although it can not he denied that the French dislike them also. For that matter, the Hermans seem to be generally disliked all over the Old World. At one. time the English occupied the unenviable position of being Ihe most unpopular people in continental Europe. Now tiavellers generally agree in according that dubious distinction to the Germans. Nowadays the wealthier Germans travel a great deal, and in most of the popular resorts of Europe the German tourists now outnumber those of any nationality except the English. In some places they equal the English in number. Yet. according to my observation, the two peoples absolutely refuse to mingle. At. the various resorts ill Egypt the Germans take no part in those entertainments which involve comparative intimacy, such as golf, tennis. and croquet tournaments, which, as a rule, are got up by the English guests. Ihe Germans are spectators at regattas and gymkhanas, arc auditors at concerts, and ride in paperchases, but they avoid the more inti-

mate spurt e. The English do not mourn’over this : I jofnc* : of the Germans, but they rather rejoice at ii. Ah *y do not hesitate on occasions to stigma tise the Germans as “anspoii manlike.” One day. for example, a programme of aquatic sports was in progress on the Nile; it included, besides a regatta, native swimming races; the Arab competitors were strung out in a line aeioss the river, swimming furiously. Suddenly a pleasure-launch, flying the German flag, steamed down upon them, and whizzed through their bare bodies, driving many of the poor devils out of the race ami scattering them to left and right. The Englishmen conducting the regatta foamed at the mouth. None of them could say anything which the Germans could understand, so they begged a Scotch doctor who could speak German to yell after the departing launch a few cursory remarks. Kisses Classified. Some individual with oceans of time on his hands has conceived the idea of hunting through the works of English novelists for the purpose of finding all the adjectives used to qualify the word kiss. The result is as follows: Cold, warm, icy, burning, chilly, cool, loving, indifferent. balsamic, fragrant, blissful, passionate, aromatic, with tears bedewed. long. soft, hasty, intoxicating, dissembling, delicious, pious, tend<‘r. beguiling. hearty, distracted, frantic, fresh-as-the-moi ning. breathing lire, divine, Satanic. glad, sad, superficial. qui.?t, loud, fond, heavenly, execrable, devouring, ominous. fervent, parching, nervous, soiille-s, stupefying, slight, painful. sweet, re freshing, embarrassed, shy. mute, ravishing, holy, sacred, firm, hurried. faithless. narcotic, feverish, immoderate. sisterly, brotherly, and paradisiacal. The task seemed interminable, and he gave up at this stage. Sunday-schools of tlie World. According to the official report just issued by W. J. Semelroth, chief secretary for the World’s Fourth Sundayschool Convention, held at Jerusalem last. Ajfiil. the Sunday Schools in the United States number more than all those of the entire world beside. The totals of Protestant Sabbath schools, teachers, and scholars in Europe, Asia, Africa, North and South America, and the islands of the seas are: Schools, 2(10.1X15; teachers. 2.414.757; scholars, 23,442.993. The United States leads with 139.817 Sunday-schools. 1.419.897 teachers, and 11.493,591 enrolled scholars. England and Wales come next with a total membership of little more than half this number, while Greece, the lowest in the list, has only four Sunday-schools. seven teachers, and 180 scholars. It means much for the religious interests of mankind that nearly twenty-three and a half million youth are being indoctrinated in the Bible, and it is a cheering fact that the number oi these Bible students -steadily increases. Biographical Verse. Some amusing satires are contained in n smics of biographies in verse, written by Mr Harry Graham, and entitled ‘‘Misrepresentati v<‘ Men.” Of President Roosevelt it is said At 6 a.in. he shoots a bear. At s he schools a restive horse, From 10 to 4 lit- takes the air Hie iloesh-ijnke it all. <.f course); Ami then at o'clock, maybe. Some coloured man drops in to tea. in him combin'd we critics find l i e diplomatic skill of Choate. Elijah Howie's breadth of mind. Ami rhaiu-er's fund of anecdote; He joins (he morals of Susannah To Dr. Muny »n's bedside manner. Sir Thomas Lipton soliloquises after the last yacht race—•‘1 felt it when the line was crust, I hold it true, whate'er hefal. ’Tls totter to have luffed and lost, i bun never to have luffed at all! My shareholders must be content With such a good advertisement." In Mr Winston Churchill the versifier finds the salient virt lie to be modesty, comparable with that of certain other great num — Fi •• in .Joshua, who. at Jericho, His trumpet blew, and wrecked the basement : T< Caine ithe Manxman), who. we know. Devotes his life to self-effacement. All non of worth, throughout the earth. Are modest, as a rule, from blrtU.

La Zhernhardt Nettled. The French Government has again nettled Sarah Bernhardt, and done it in the way that will hurt her must. It has given Adelina Patti the decoration of the Legion of Honour. which Mme. Bernhardt has long struggled for in vain. Marie laiurent was the only French actress to receive the ribbon. It was bestowed on her as a recognition of her work in founding the asylum for the orphans of actors rather than her talent as an actress, and the honour was plainly meant for the woman and not the actress. Adelina Patti got it because she has frequently taken part in concerts for the French charities. Somewhat more than a year ago she organised a benefit at the Paris Opera and appeared as Juliette in Gounod’s opera. Now she has her reward, and has had her picture taken in evening dress with the decoration in full view. The decorations given at the German opera houses nearly always mean that the women who got them sang for nothing or very little. One grand ducal theatre in Germany has for some years enjoyed the visits of more or less eminent stars through the liberality with which the reigning sovereign scatters about his medals. One of the popular German singers, who is frequently photographed with her decorations, got them all for gratuitous appearances in different places. Sarah Bernhardt has frequently acted for French charities, but evidently the French Government sees no cause in her good works for giving her the honour she has so long sighed for and intrigued industriously to get. The Diplodocns. “Dear Chancellor. —Find this for Pittsburg.—Yours truly, A.C.” Such was the laconic little note written by Mr Andrew Carnegie on the margin of an engraving of a prehistoric monster, and received one morning by Dr. Holland, director of the Carnegie Museum at Pittsburg. Dr. Holland and a select band of enthusiastic geologists accordingly went to the Wyoming Mountains, ami succeeded in unearthing the skeleton of the diplodocns. a mammoth measuring eighty-four feet from the tip of its tail to the end of its nose. At the suggestion of the King, who saw a photograph of the diplodocns on the walls of Skibo Castle, Mr Carnegie had an exact plaster model of the reptile set up in the Reptile Gallery of the South Ken«i#»ton Museum, and a week or two ago. in the presence of a distinguished gathering of scientists, he formally handed over the model of the “Diplodocns Carnegii” to the trustees of the British Museum. “How old is it?’’ a lady asked Mr Carnegie. He turned to Dr. Holland. “Well.” said the doctor. “I should not like to say to a year or two. but somewhere about 4.000.000 years.” Mr Carnegie surveyed his colossal god-chi Id - for the “Diplodocns Carnegii” was christened after him—proudly, and in a neat little speech presented the model as a gift from the youngest to the oldest museum. ou. the trustees of the oldest, museum. and we. the trustees of the youngest, he said, “are jointly weaving another link binding in closer embrace all the mother and the child lands, which never should have been estranged, and which arc—some day—again to be reunited.” The museum trustees promised to fill some of the thirty-six cases in which the diplodocns cre/« d the Atlantic with some valuable duplicates for Pittsburg. Gymnastics for Women. I here seems to be a settled conviction that gymnastics are good for our woinen folks, hut the expense of rowingmachines, lifting-weights. and the costfv fol-de-rol of the gymnasium is a great obstacle. It is a source of real thankfulness that a scheme of gymnastics has been worked out which gets around the obstacle of expense The kitchen gymnasium has come. By very simple rules the ordinary implements of the fricassee department are made the means of feminine strength, beauty, and grace. The potato-masher, for instance, is used as an Indian club, and answers the purpose admirably. With a potato-masher in each hand the ordinary woman ceases to be a negligible household ornament, and becomes formidable. A pair of flatirons make a perfect set of dumb-bells. With these a woman can change a weak back into a pillar of strength —a regular

steel pier of muscularity. The rollingpin can be annexed to a breathing exercise with wonderful results. The kitchen towel lends itself to many beneficial exercises. Dampen it and. go after the audible but for the moment tin located mosquito. This exercise will put roses in the cheeks and fire in the eyes of the run-down woman. The kitchen chairs come in for the more difficult gymnastic work. With head on one chair, feet on another, and a tub held lightly on the chest, the whole vasomotor tract can be developed and strengthened. Manifold are the exercises that can be performed with the coal-scuttle, the stove-lifter and poker, and the dishpan. The kitchen gymnasium means an economy that will appeal strongly to womankind. A very simple yet effective exercise is made possible also by the ice-chest, a small pair of tongs, and a hundred-pound cake of ice. A broom is likewise a gymnastic gem of the purest ray serene. Old-time Laws About Public Signs. The trite saying that there is nothing new under the sun finds an apt illustration in the fact that the present agitation for the abatement of the sign-adver-tising nuisance is only a renewal of that public protest against nuisances of this character which found expression in laws and municipal regulations in France and England as far back as the seventeenth century. It is recorded that after the great fire in London in 1666 the shopkeepers of that city, animated no doubt by a pardonable desire to recoup their losses, began to invent and devise signboards of such size and obtrusiveness that, to quote a chronicler of the time, “the air and the light of the heavens were well-nigh intercepted from the luckless wayfarers through the streets of London.” The evil became so great that Charles IL caused an Act to be passed ordering “that in all the streets no signboard shall hang across, but that the sign shall be fixed against the balconies or some convenient part of the side of the house.” About the same time a similar decree was issued in France prohibiting monstrous signs and the practice of advancing them too far into the streets.

But the rage for big signs and offensive pictorial advertisements in publie places broke out again >n such a riotous fashion that in the latter part of the eighteenth century drastic measures were adopted to restrain the business. In September, 1861, the police of Paris issued orders that in a month’s time all signboards in that city and its suburbs were to be taken from over the streets and fixed against the walls of the buildings, from which they were not to project more than four inches. It was also ordered that all sign posts and sign-irons were to be removed from the streets and highways and the passages cleared. Similar regulations were adopted and enforced in London and other English cities, ona act empowering certain officials ‘‘to take down and remove all signs or other emblems used to denote a trade, occupation, or calling of any person or persons, signposts. sign-irons, balconies, pest- houses, show-boards, spouts and gutters, projecting into the said streets,” with much other legal verbiage following, and ending up with the imposition of five pounds upon any person who transgressed the statute.

Ye Gallerye God. Ye Critick may write with satrical I’eune, And pick to Pieces ye Playe; li e mnv saye it be Rotten again and again, Yt he knowes it will live but a Daye; He may say ye Construction is notably Y’t ye Lines are ye veriest Rotte. Its Faults with ye keenest of Eyes he may seek. . ■ . And declare it is Lacking in I otte. And yt though ye Flayer ye Critick much fears, When he makes to ye People his Nodtie, He knows ye play “goes” as soon as he hears Ye voice of ye Gallerye God. Ye Clitic may say yt ye Playe is a Birde, Yt ye Partes are must strikingly drawn, Yt ye Lines are ye Brightest he ever has heard, Yt ye drama is grandly putte on. He may fire Bouquets at ye Author full oft And say yt ye Players are great, Yet ye Player looks up to ye Gallerye Loft And listens to hear of his Fate. For he knows yt he Play is a failure forsooth. Before he tenn minutes has trod On ye Stage if he hear not a Sound from ye Youth j Who is known as ye Gallerye God.