INFORMATION WANTED.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIV, Issue IV, 27 January 1900, Page 192

INFORMATION WANTED.

"Miss Upperten—Clara.” began the young man, “you have no doubt noticed that my attentions of late have been more than those of a mere friend. I love you, Clara, and in asking you to share my lot, I ” "Pardon me for interrupting you,” said the practical maiden, “but has the 10l you wish me to share a good house on it with all the modern improvements?” "A seaman washed overboard,” exclaimed Mrs Jones as she read a newspaper headline, “but he perhaps was so dirty that they hadn’t enough watei on the ship.” Juvenile: "My mitiier sent me for a pun’ o’ beef, an' it’s to be better than the last, wi’ no fat or bones in it.” Irascible Butcher: “Go home an’ tell yer mither to buy cheese.” "I want an engagement ring for a young lady.” "Yes. sir. About what size?" "I don’t know exactly: but she can twist me around her little finger, if that's any guide.” loung Lady: "I ean only be a sister to you—no more.” He: "Thanks: that is very good of you. Have you spoken to your mother of it yet?” Young Lady: "Of what?” He: “My adoption." Maud: "Major, is it true that once during the war one of the enemy died to save your life?" Major Bluntly: "Yes.” Maud: "How noble. How did it happen?” Major Bluntly: "I killed him.” Mrs Skim: "Do your boarders pav promptly?” Mrs Syle: "They did .’t first.” “Why don’t they ' now?” "They’ve got so fat they can’t get their hands into their pockets." When a maiden learns to love. Then she finds what men are made of. For the lover, oh. so true! Has another still in view. The Maid: “Do you believe the microbes said to be in kisses ever"develop into anything dangerous?” The Bachelor: “I'm afraid they do. At least I’ve been told that marriage is often the result.” Miss Howler (who sings (?)): “That gentleman you just introduced me to said he would give anything if he had my voice. By the way. what business does he follow?” Friend: “He’s an auctioneer.” “I guess it's all over between Millie and me.” “Why. what's the trouble?” “I went up there this afternoon with my trotter to take her out for a drive, and there was a fellow ahead of me with an automobile.” Jinks: That man does not look smart, and yet you say he has made a million. Winks: Smart? He's a genius. He’s a great inventor. Jinks: You don't say so! What did he invent? Winks: He invented an apple barrel that holds scarcely anything.

Mrs Tubbs: “Were you ever lost, Mr Tubbs.” Mr Tubbs: “Once.” Mrs Tubbs: “When?" Mr Tubbs: “When I first saw you I was lost in admiration; and I may add that I have not since been found.”