TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume X, Issue 6, 11 February 1893, Page 144

TRY TO SMILE.

At Rotorua. —She : ‘Oh ! what a wonderful sight. I can’t understand how you can remain so apathetic in view of one of Nature’s wondrous works. Don't yon feel any thing ?' He : ‘Oh yes ! Thirsty I! !’

Not Necessary—‘Young Lady: ‘How much?’ Telegraph Operator : ‘ A shilling.’ ‘ For that one word “ yes ?” ’ ‘ Yes’m. Same price for ten words or less. You can repeat the “ yes ” ten times if you wish.’ ‘ Um—n o, that wouldn’t look well. It’s an answer to a proposal of marriage.’

Customer : ‘ I want two poached eggs on toast.’ Waiter : ‘ Yes, sir.’ Customer : ‘ And be sure you have them fresh laid.’ Waiter : ‘ Yes, sir ; I’ll have them laid on the toast, sir.’

Why Not ?—She : ‘ I wonder why they call the groomsman at a wedding the best man?’ He: ‘lt must be because he has shown a superior intellect in not being the bridegroom.’

Bound to Please —‘The editor in chief, the managing editor and the editorial writers are sick to-day,’ said the editor to the publisher. ‘ls that athletic and racing editor here?’ ‘ Yes, sir.’ ‘ All right. Go ahead and get out the paper.’

Proof.—Magistrate : ‘ Were you drunk when you committed this assault?’ Prisoner: ‘I must have been, yer Honor, ’cause t’other feller’s twice my size.’

Bad boy (getting in a good one) : ‘ There, take that !' Good boy (folding his arms with a saintly expression): ‘ No, Tommy, I will not hit you back, because I promised my mother never to strike a playmate, but’ (kicking him severely on the shins) ‘ how do you like that?’

Business.—Slick (to Blossom): ‘ls this Mr Bloomer’s office?’ Blossom: ‘No. His office is across the hall.’ Slick (leaving the door open as he walks out) : ‘ Thank you, sir.’ Blossom : * Hey 1 Come back and close that door ! Haven’t you any doors in your house ?’ Slick: ‘Yes, sir; but they all have springs on ’em. Allow me to show you, sir, my patent, double-back action door spring. It closes the door without a bang, and is warranted to last a lifetime.*