‘HOW TO GET MARRIED.'

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VIII, Issue 27, 4 July 1891, Page 135

‘HOW TO GET MARRIED.'

By MRS L. FROST RATTRAY

SIXTH PAPER.

Man without woman is a very poor thing. —From one of Madame Patey’s songs.

H F. Wesleyan ifethodist Society has few and simple rules for the marriage of its members. ■|/ IEsSgSiM The Registrar’s certificate is all that is refluire<) beforehand. The service itself is l|i very similar to that used in the Church of England. There is no stated fee, but the minister always receives something from the bridegroom. This applies all over the colony. I have been kindly furnished with the following short stories in connection with this church :— ‘ About twenty years ago,’ said a minister, ‘ the Registrar was away for a holiday, I think, and someone else in the office issued tire certificates. These were afterwards declared invalid, and the couples had all to be re married. I had to re-officiate in one case. ’ ‘ A friend of mine rode twenty miles to marry a couple. They promised him a side of bacon as fee, and gave him half a pound to take home to try. That was all he ever got.’ The Congregational Church gives me just the same rules as those which guide the Wesleyan Church. The services for the celebration of marriages are dissimilar. Another anecdote respecting the numerous superstitions attaching to the wedding-ring has reached me.—‘Although sufficient for the purposes of a marriage ceremony, there is a very natural objection to the use of a mourning ring ; and there is a superstition that fatal consequences will ensue therefrom. In exemplification of this has been quoted the story of Colin, Earl of Balcarres, who was married to the daughter of a natural son of Maurice, Prince of Orange. The Prince of Orange, afterwards William the Third, presented his kinswoman with a beautiful pair of emerald earrings. We may note here that any articles of clothing or ornament of a green colour are considered extremely unlucky at weddings. On the day of marriage, Colin, who appears to have been very absent minded, forgot all about his engagement, and the messenger sent for him found him quietly seated at breakfast. He hurried to the church, but at the critical moment discovered that he had forgotten the ring. A friend handed him one, which he placed without examination on the bride’s finger. On looking at it, after the ceremony, she discovered that it was a mourning ring with the death’s head and cross bones, and immediately fainted. On recovering she declared that she would die within the year, a prognostication which was fulfilled. In the Baptist Church no church license is required, the certificate obtained from the Registrar by the consenting parties being the warrant and authority to the officiating minister to marry. Without this no marriage can be celebrated. The churches nor their ministers do not in anyway interfere, or require anything further. As to fees, the Registrar, if he married the parties at his office, claims one guinea as legal fee, and this is the usual honorarium given to the officiating minister. In Victoria three guineas is the usual fee to the niinister, while only five shillings is charged by the Registrar. But by far the larger proportion of marriages are celebrated by the clergy and ministers. In New Zealand it depends greatly upon the social standing of the contracting parties, and the honorarium occasionally is much larger, while the poorest generally consider a £1 note the correct thing. My knowledge doe’s not enable me to say what custom prevails in other parts of the colony, but the same legal forms and ceremonies are observed throughout.

Amongst the Hebrews there are some very strict and generally well-adhered-to rules for the matrimonial ventures of those belonging to the Jews’ religion. There is a good deal to be considered about prohibited relationships and proper evidence that the marrying parties are both Jews. The ceremony in modern use is of a tolerably simple character. ‘The central feature of the celebration, as with us, is the practice of symbolising the union by use of the ring. The formula is : “ Thon art wedded unto me by this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel.’’ Following this anti the mutual execution of the marriage covenant is the benediction of the officiating Rabbi, alluding to Genesis xxiv., 60, and Ruth iv. ,12; ami the publication of the contract, a practice referred to in Tobit vii., 13, 14. A second and final symbolic act is the breaking of a glass, in token, as is supposed, of the transitoriness of human happiness, a practice that is not unknown, perhaps, amongst Christians, only that with them the breaking

up of friable household utensils is usually postponed until some little time after matrimony, and figures rather as a practical illustration than as a symbol of the fleeting natuie of its joys.’ This description of Jewish rites and ceremonies is take from ‘ A Survey of the Laws of Marriage and Divorce.’ I may add that Hebrew’ marriages in the Synagogue are celebrated under a canopy, held up at each corner by friends of the contracting couple. The Society of Friends are now allowed to perform their marriages according to their own rites, such marriages being considered legal, the Registrars certificate haying been first obtained. The order of procedure is briefly this: The clerks ot the monthly meetings furnish printed marriage forms which the contracting parties fill in. The form is as follows :—‘ To Monthly Meeting of Friends. We, A. 8., of , son of E.B. and of F.» his wife, and C.D., of , daughter of G.D. and of H., his wife, hereby inform you that it is our intention to take each other in marriage, if the Lord permit, and that we are clear of any .other marriage engagement. Witness our hand this 27th day of sixth month, 1891.’ Signed with the names of bride and groom elect, and of two witnesses to each signature. A second form has to be procured on which the ‘ man's parents or guaidians affix their consent, this being also witnessed by two members, and the * woman’s parents or guardians' hate also to sign it, two more Friends witnessing their signatures. Still another form is necessary from the clerk of Monthly Meeting, being a certificate of * publication of intention,' stating also that no notice of objection to solemnization of intended marriage lias been received. The clerk has to give public notice as early as possible at close of the First-day morning meeting or meetings which the parties respectively attend in these words: ‘ Friends, there is an intention of marriage between A. 8., of , and C. D., of ——. If any person has anything toobject, let timely information be given. All objections have to be in writing. After the expiration of fourteen days from such public notice a ‘ liberation ' to solemnize the intended marriage is given. Then follows a capital idea. ‘ A copy of such minute .... and the marriage forms are to be sent in for perusal to the monthly meeting of women Friends.’ Marriages are to be solemnized at a meeting for worship in the meeting-house, which the woman usually attends. After a seasonable time the parties are to stand up, and, taking each other by the hand, to declare in an audible and solemn manner, the man first : ‘ Friends, I take this my friend, C.D., to be my wife, promising through Divine assistance to be unto her a loving and faithful husband until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us. The wife says much the same. Supposing the parties to be of different monthly meetings, a few further previous forms are necessary. Altogether it will be seen that a marriage amongst Friends is rather a formidable affair ami not to be shuffled through anyhow. Rather a contrast is afforded by a Salvation Army wedding. Specially-appointed district officers are now authorised, after the inevitable Registrar’s certificate has been obtained by the contracting parties, to celebrate the marriage. Reasonable notice is to be given to one of these officers, who say they prefer to perform marriages at one of their public services, though if necessary, they allow a private ceremony. A declaration of the articles of marriage has to be signed on a form obtainable from the officers. There is no prescribed fee for the marriage ceremony, only the bridegroom is expected to give £1 at least to the Salvation Army Fund. A description of a Melbourne wedding, taken from’the War Cry, will best explain the inodu* ope rand i : — ‘ A jolly house-full, a platform of soldiers, timbrel lasses with decorated instruments suitable for such an occasion, a big brass band, and a magnificent stall, including the Commissioner, were surely sufficient to ensure a first-class affair ; and so it proved. A big ovation greeted the entrance of the bridal party, and after the blushing bride and groom bad safely secured their seats, the first song was given out. Folks were in for a big time, it was quite evident. They sang and clapped, and clapped and sang, until the old building fairly shook with the vibration. After the usual preliminaries, Staff-Captain Plant sang a solo : Isn’t it funny they don’t I Hs looked at the single young men of ‘ 185,' and, we suppose, thought it was funny they didn’t follow the editor’s example. We think it would be funnier if they did. His special verse, composed by inspiration on the spot, went something like this : —

With Salvation weddings some folks don't agree. Now isn’t it funny they don’t i But my friend, Stephens, with such folks don’t agree Now isn’t it funny he don’t ? He believes that where one has been able to tight. Two should put ten thousand to flight, I wish you’d get saved and help him to tight. Now isn't it funny you don’t ?

The Commissioner then brought to the front the most important feature of the meeting, viz., the wedding. If Henry James Stephens and Effie Griffiths wished to be married on S.A. lines, they were to stand forth, which they promptly did Major Barritt held the flag over the heads of the pair, which gave a good effect, and they got down to business. The Commissioner lined out, ‘ for better for worse,’ the bride and bridegroom took it up as an echo, the ring was produced, slipped on, and these twain were pronounced man ami wife So the streams of these two lives were blended together. We pray that God’s richest blessing may re.-t upon the pair. Adjutant and Mrs Stephens had a woid each. Mrs S. said she was tempted that she would be able to light for God better single. The Adjutant said he was glad she had not given way to the temptation ; and so were we, because if she had there would not have been any wedding, and that would have been too bad.’

I have not attempted to describe the procedure for wed dings in all the different denominations that exist. Such a feat would be well nigh impossible. Nor do I claim to have done more than indicate briefly the preliminary steps for the performance of the marriage ceremony in some of the larger religious bodies, with more or less appropriate but, I believe, genuine illustrations. I must also express my hearty thanks to those gentlemen, clerical ami lay. who have so courteously responded to my appeal for help in these papers, ami without whose kind assistance I could not have attempted to write on this subject at all. Next week I shall touch upon the important, socially speaking, but really unnecessary, ceremonies of a civilized wedding.

(TO HE VONTINI’KIh)