THE SCIENCE AND ART OF BEING A FATHER

Ladies' Mirror, Volume 3, Issue 3, 1 September 1924, Page 23

THE SCIENCE AND ART OF BEING A FATHER

By L. E. HERTSLET, M.R.C.S., L.R.C.P

Show this to your Husband

WHAT IT MEANS JT is the business of being - an intelligent, interesting . and satisfactory parent. ’ It is the science of maintaining the proper discipline of the home, including self-discipline. . ; ; . 1 It calls for the study- of the development . of the individual characters of children. It means co-operation with the mother in the supreme work of home-making. It involves concern for, and a share in, the physical, mental, moral and spiritual training of our girls and boys. It demands the cultivation of the parental virtues, some of which are unselfishness, self-control, honesty, sympathy, patience, and above all, love. It calls for a personal and practical interest in the general welfare of the community. WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT For the following reasons: — One of the chief reasons, if not the chief, for our continued existence is the propagation of our species. A man’s children ought to be better all round specimens than himself. Directed study and conscious effort are essential if this is to be brought about. No one is naturally fitted for the proper training of children and development of their characters. The father’s share in this work is as necessary as the mother’s. No man has the right to propagate his kind unless he is prepared to be a good father. A man who neglects to do his share in the training of his children is a shirker, or a coward, or both. Failure in this direction is a prime cause of the present deplorable lack of character among the rising generation. ’ Every father is personally responsible to God for seeing that his children have healthy bodies, pure minds, clean souls and strong characters. WHY HAS IT BEEN NEGLECTED? We have been lazy, and content to shelve our responsibilities. We have thought that the duty of training the children should devolve almost entirely on the mother. We have left the rest to chance: the Bioscope, the Minister, and the Schoolteacher. Business has fascinated us, and absorbed most of our time, thought and energy. The love of pleasure (games, theatres, races, and the like) has gripped us and we have forgotten our children. The rush of modern life has left us little time to think about our home duties. Money-making, finding the cash for clothes, and food, and school, and pleasure, has taken the place of the higher things of life. Honestly, we have not thought about this business of being a father, as we ought to have done.

WHAT CAN BE DONE? Here are some suggestions with regard to the theory of the Science of Fatherhood : Study Try and get hold of some modern literature on the subject. Most of it is written for mothers, but there are many useful points for fathers in these books and magazines. Study some of them with your wife. Self-Education (а) Give the matter some serious thought. Consider what would be your ideal (a) father, (b) home, (e) girl, (d) boy, and then compare your ideal with the actual as it exists in your home. (b) Study each of your children as much as you can. Get to know them thoroughly. Their Habits : Speech, table manners, tidiness, cleanliness, greediness, etc. Their Characters: Honesty, obedience, ' sympathy, affection, usefulness, reverence, thoughtfulness, punctuality, industry, thrift, dependability, purity, teachability, imagination, jealousy, lying, conceit, temper, rudeness, quarrelling, gambling, laziness, obstinacy, and so on. (c) Exactly how much time a week have you given to the study of your children, to training them, to playing with them, to walking with them? How much time you spend in reading the paper, in unnecessary work, in your own pleasure, and so forth: surely some of this could be more profitably spent in developing your children’s characters? (d) What have you done during the past year to improve the heredity and environment of your family along the following lines?

(a) Personal Habits (your own). Language, drink, smoking, laziness, irritability, pleasure, self-restraint, sympathy, patience. (b) Home. Provision of healthy house and garden. Suitable nursery, furniture, pictures, wallpapers, etc., proper recreations. (e) Control. Choice of school (moral tone). Supervision of friends, books, pictures, magazines, etc. SUGGESTIONS FOR PRACTISING THE ART We ought to look on the job of being a father as the finest, biggest, most difficult and most fascinating Man’s job in the world. We have brought children into the world, we are responsible to God, to the world, and to them, to see to it that they go out into the battle of life with healthy bodies, keen, clean minds, strong characters, and hearts that want to serve God and do the right. We ought to love our children, not with a sloppy sentiment, or mere parental pride, but with a constant, conscious, consistent, strong love. We must make this father business the prime interest of our lives, make it our hobby, our recreation, and let moneymaking and pleasure-seeking be subordinated to this important matter of fathereraft. We should pity the man who does , not know the joy of being the father of several children, for he has missed much of the pleasure of life and lost some of its discipline. It is absolutely essential to remember that the training, influence and discipline of the father and mother must be coordinated, complementary and consistent. But don’t overdo it. Hothouse culture and too much spoon feeding are bad for strong and healthy growth. The following detailed suggestions are put in somewhat dogmatic form for the sake of brevity. Most of them have been tried and found to work. MORAL AND MENTAL TRAINING Watch the books, magazines, and papers that your children read. Develop a good taste by supplying good, sensible literature. Let them invite their friends to tea, so that you may know if they are suitable. Purity of mind is a rare flower to be carefully cultivated. Tell your children the facts of life in a clean way, before they can learn them in an unclean one. Take an interest in their lessons. Teach them what you know of Nature, science, the facts of life. Tell them about your own trade or profession. Encourage habits of observation. Take them to museums, art galleries, factories, botanical gardens, docks, fields, forests, beaches, rivers, etc. Watch development of their minds.