THE LIGHTER SIDE

Ladies' Mirror, Volume 2, Issue 3, 1 September 1923, Page 22

THE LIGHTER SIDE

Training a Husband THE VALUE OF UTILITY

A HUSBAND is an uncanny animal, and few wives understand the nature of the beast. Getting married is all right; the service, the dresses, the bridesmaids, the wedding cake, the presents, are all things that are dear to the feminine heart. It is well, also, to have a home of your own, and servants and pocket-money; but the husband seems such a useless and unnecessary and wholly superfluous addition, that the trouble is to know what to do with him or to what use he can be put. And yet, if he be properly trained, he may be made very useful. The greatest difficulty experienced by the young wife is in extracting unlimited supplies of money. Never be" beguiled into keeping accounts. You must have a pretty ignorance of business, and you must never have any idea where the money has gone to." It is a good thing to pretend to small economies. Come home occasionally very tired, because you have walked a long way, as you didn't want to waste money on a tram. Also, if you are going anywhere with your husband, it is often 'helpful to appear in old things, as you didn't want to waste his money on dress, when he has to work so hard to get it. A reference to somebody else's husband who is always able to' buy good things for his wife is useful occasionally; but this requires great caution, and should always be followed by some such remark, "But I love you just the same, though you can always afford to get me what I want. You must appeal to his pride and his sense of chivalry. Moods must, of course, be studied, as it is fatal to ask for money at the wrong time. Some men are best when they have had what they call "one or two." Monday is generally considered by experts a bad day, but from 6-10 p.m. on Saturday is usually considered the best time for domestic financial transactions. The Treatment A husband may be turned to some account if you can train him to fetch and carry. " The male animal exhibits a quite unaccountable dislike to learning tricks of this sort, and he has to be broken in very gradually. The highest perfection of the art consists in breaking a husband in to wait for you outside during a bargain sale and to carry your parcels home. A woman who can do this has pardonable cause for pride. You must begin gradually. Get him to wait for a minute or so at first, and let the parcel be a small one. By degrees you can increase the time you keep him waiting and the size and number of the parcels. You can even train him to do your shopping and bring goods home if you go the right nay about it. You "must go on the principle of "Good dog, fetch it," and give him a little pat when he returns. In these days of scarcity of domestic help it is a good thing to break him in to housework. This is easier than some women suppose, as he has no innate hatred of it. Every mail fancies he can cook, ami prides himself on his ability to make coffee. You must flatter him. If he does anything about the house, you must tell him how beautifully he has done it. Encourage him to further effort, and stimulate his inventive faculties. Ask him if he cannot think of some better way of doing things, and suggest that he is so clever you are quite sure he could polish the stove much better than you could. Always praise anything he does, even if you have to do it over again yourself. It is a good plan to do something yourself and do it badly, and then appeal to him to help you and show you how it ought to be done. Some women

have been known by these means to train their husbands to do the washing and a great part of the family sewing. Correctives The worst husband is the one who won't try and who pulls back and breaks the bridle. He can only be cured of this bad habit by a course of carefully graduated correction. It is very annoying when you have left him outside a shop, and you are relying on his carrying your parcels home, to find he has broken loose and has gone, goodness knows where. It is useless to wait for him, as the chances that he will come back of his own accord are very remote. lie has probably pulled up at his favourite trough to quench his thirst, and it would be undignified to search for him. The best way to correct this very tiresome trait in his character is to devise petty discomforts for him on his return home. Let his tea be made with water that has not quite boiled; if he. indulges in coffee, see that it is not quite cleared of grounds; you can also contrive that his collar stud shall be mislaid and his razor be a trifle dull. These in themselves are trifles, but pursued studiously they often prove efficacious. Next to a stylish hat, a docile husband is the thing on which a woman most prides herself. Such a possession excites envy in the breasts of less fortunate rivals, and serves the same purpose as a twenty-guinea costume at a mere fraction of the cost. It is a regrettable feature of our social system that a woman, in securing the advantages of an assured position, has to take the husband with it. As, however, he is there, it is best to put him to some use; and if you take him in hand early and train him carefully and judiciously, you will find in him a hundred and one capabilities you never dreamed of before, and you will constantly be discovering new uses for him and new methods by which you can extract money from his unwilling pockets.