Buttons in the Collection.

Waikato Times, Volume 118, Issue 19762, 18 December 1935, Page 24 (Supplement)

Buttons in the Collection.

Uncle Athanasius’’ Experience . A Rogue’s Discomfiture. “Worshippers who are kind enough to contribute buttons to the collections are requested to bring their own and not pull them off the hassocks.” This plea is made by the Rev. G. R. Balleine, vicar of St. James’ Church, Bermondsey, in the parish magazine. The writer of “The New Pepys” an Truth, referring to the above, says:— “At Clubb this night Sir T. Bloxon brought up an excerpt from the Parish Magazine of St. James’ in Bermondsey (cited in to-day’s news-sheets), wherein Vicar do request ‘Worshippers, who are kind enough to contribute buttons to the collectiouns, to bring their own and not pull them off the hassocks.’ As to which, says Bloxon, ’tis manifest that this Vicar, the Revd. Mr Balleine, is himself very fanfrom being a button short in l'espect of wit whatever the condicioun of the church hassocks may be. Which methought rather neatly said, for Bloxon. “So fell all of us to changemg divers yarns abt, church collectiouns that we have heard; whereof Mr Wix’s was the Free Church Minister that went to .do duty, for a fellow Minister at Tooting one Lords Day; and in Vestry after service, chancing suddeinly to turn his head, catcht the deacon that attended him in the act of filching a i crown out of the plate before counting. Hereat in the stupefying horror of it Minister at Ist said naught, but pa-e----sently commanded himself to acquaint the fellow of what he had seen and how sorely it had grieved him. Whereto this Cockney deacoun, ‘Why bless yer, Minister,’ quoath he, ‘that’s the church’s ’arf-crown, which we always put into the plate as a int to the congregatioun.’ “After which I did acquaint them of what actually befell Unkle Athanasius when he was a young Vicar—to wit, an old fellow coming into vestry after church with word of having erroneously put i a sovei’eign into bagg instead of a tanner, and c’d not possibly afford it, soe might he have mne-and-six back? Now there chanced to be sevei-all h ■ sovereigns in collection, which was a speciall one for Foreign Missiouns. Nevertheless Unkle had his doubts, albeit no means to prove them, and was .wondei'ing what he ought to do about it, when suddeinly came to him to reply ‘No, give me your tanner, and I’ll give you your 5 sovereign.’ ~ n “Whereat, Unkle told me, to see the old i - ogue’s face and his pretended searchings in his pocquets and couldn’t for the life of him imagine where the blinking thing had got to! . But all Unkle had to say to that was Good Night! And be sure not to forget to bring the tanner along next he wanted to get any change out of him.