LITTLE LAUGHS.

Waikato Times, Volume 108, Issue 18159, 25 October 1930, Page 16 (Supplement)

LITTLE LAUGHS.

He was incurably romantic, and she w T as incredibly matter-of-fact. “Have you,” said Bill, “never met a man at whose lightest touch every fibre of your being seemed to thrill?” “Oh, yes,” said Joyce. “He was a dentist." Black: “Do you always acknowledge it when you know you are wrong?” White: “No; only when other people know it." * * * * “Don’t you see the resemblance?” asked the proud mother, exhibiting the baby. “Just look at our faces, side by side." “Nothing could be plainer," replied the guest absent-mindedly. 4 4 4 4 Elsie: “Why is Clara always so short of money—didn’t her father leave her a lot?” Madge: “Yes; but you see she’s not to get it till she’s thirty, and she’ll never own up to that."

Fitzjones: “Did you go to the music hall last evening, Percy?” De Brown: “No; I attended a sleight of hand performance.” Fitzjones: “Where?” De Brown: “I went to call on Miss Le Smythe, and offered her my hand, but she slighted it.". , #4*4 “Daddy, can I have a shilling to give to a man who has only one arm?” “Yes. Who is the poor soul?” “He sells tickets at the cinema." * * * * i She: “This car squeaks terribly." He: “Can’t be helped, dear. You must remember the axles are made of pig-iron.” 4 4 4 4 Sambo was asked what kind of chicken he preferred. “Well, sir," he replied, after a few minutes’ consideration, “all kinds has der merits. De white ones is de • easiest to find in de dark, but de black ones is de easiest to hide aftah you gets ’em.’”

Smith: “Motoring is undoubtedly a grand thing. I used to be fat and listless before the motor craze, but j now I'm alert and energetic." | Brown: “I didn’t know you motored.” Smith: “I don’t. I dodge ’em.” 4 4 4 4 Boy: “You have a vacancy for a boy, I believe, sir.” . Employer: “Yes, but I tell you at once that he must be a boy who never tells a lie, never swears, and never gives a discourteous answer." Boy: “I’ll send my cousin, sir; he’s deaf and dumb.” 4 4 4 4 It was kit inspection morning, and the soldiers had their things laid out on their beds. The colonel walked into the room and said to Private Brown— ; “Three shirts, Brown?” “One on, one at the wash, and one in the box, sir.” “Two pairs of shoes?” “One on and one in the box, sir.” “Two pairs of socks, Brown?” “One on and one in the box, sir." “Good. Now where’s the box, Brown?” “I’ve lost the box, sir.”