THE SEAMY, SIDE.

Waikato Times, Volume 100, Issue 16781, 26 April 1926, Page 5

THE SEAMY, SIDE.

TALES TOLD TO MAGISTRATE. MOST INDIGNANT SMALL BOY. (By R. E. Corder, in the London Daily Mail.) Police courts are as variable as the weather. One day will see, a kind of tidal wave of crime, bringing in burglars, thieved, wife-beaters, and crooks. On the following day Hie most serious case, may be petty pilfering by an errand boy. But whatever the, charge list the court never fails in interest. Mr Hay Italke.tt, the magistrate sitting at Marylcbonc Police Court yesterday, had few grave cases to consider, but he had a very diverting morning helping to combat life's little worries. There was the wife who married a sailor last September and found herself a grass widow in December. She was not sure whether her husband had deserted her after the honeymoon or had merely forgotten her.

"Sailors are very erratic." remarked the magistrate, in advising iter to have patience.

Then there was the barber whose children had a feud with the children of a woman who lived opposite, and who, he said, made his life miserable by leaning out of her window and calling him names. She 'was always thinking of something new to say, he complained, and please would an officer go down and tell her to close the window? * * * i

Next !o children, cats are the chief cause of trouble in tenements. A cat seeking adventure found it in a room occupied by a woman who did nol like en Is. According to the cat's misIress. Ihe cat came down the stairs "firing" like a molor-car on every whisker, followed by the neighbour, "who threw a bucketful of carbolic waitr over me and then hit, me over head with one or my own chairs," she said. "1 struck her <-: the face wiih a broom, but didn't hurt her: and I had to have my head bandaged, and I wan! a summons." She got it,

. Failing to gel, rid of her tenants by a County Court action, a landlady, weeping copiously, declared: "Last Sunday they brougntia gang of hooligans from a low quarter and broke, my china service. I nave had months of hell, and I have to live out <;. doors."

" The magistrate tried to find a remedy, but the landlady, launched on tier grievance, could not slop talking long enough to hear his suggestion of a summons for willul damage. t The ordeal by water was endured by a. young wife, who, having offended a fellow-tenant, found her room flooded out. The enemy had stopped up the sink, turned on the lap, and left the rest, to fate and Iho Metropolitan Water Board. "Everything was floating when 1 got home," waited the young wife, di'y.ng her eyes with a summons.

Old George, who will be 74 next birthday', has—on lite, word of a constable—led a decent, sober, industrious life, but last week he began to sow his wild oais, and for the llrsi time saw a police court from liic inside of I lie dock.

Considering that he bad never been drunk before, lie made a good job of ii, and when found by tne shocked constable he was dancing down the street, waving bis arms, and gambolling like a lamb in the early spring sunshine. The magistrate toid him to go away and behave himself, and Old George promised that he would resisl the call of spring. » • * *

A wife separated from her husband, who was behind in his payments, was prepared to forgive him everything except his extravagance in paying is Od for his breakfast. "Nice thing for a man who gets 15s a week to pay is Gd for his breakfast," she jeered, giving her husband an 18penny look.

All whine and whiskers, a middleaged man accused of begging believed in getting his blow in first. "That olllcer is telling lies," lie said, before the constable had taken the oath.

As he persistently refused to have his finger-prints taken, he was put back to make way for two gipsies, a man and a woman, also charged witli begging. Both took a strong dislike to the officer who arrested them, the man putting the gipsies' curse on him and the woman expressing the hope that every rib in his body would be forcibly removed. The pleasant pair were sent to prison, the man for three months and Ihc woman for two. The officer continued to look healUT.

An object-lesson in how young thieves arc made was given when three boys, aged respectively 17, 15, and 1-1, were charged with stealing old iron.

The eldest boy had been in an institution for mental defectives and had been allowed out on license and trial lo see if he could earn his living. He promptly acquired a barrow, persuaded the younger boys to join him, and set forth to pick up a living when nobody was looking. The 15-year-old boy was not very bright, but the youngest one, who had brought his mother with him, was exceptionally intelligent. Despuo bis mother's efforts lo stop birn, lie prompted toe 15-ycar-old boy, who was asked by the magistrate if he wanted to give evidence. "Say 'Yes,' " hissed the. youngest. "You shut up," whispered the mother. "I want to go into that box," insisted the youngest. "You wait till I get you home," promised the mother softly. "I'm going in that box." declared the youngest, and into the. box he went. He read the oath loudly and defiantly, and declared in a rush of tears and eloquence that he thought the eldest boy had bought the iron. He was the most indignant small boy I have seen in court, and on being discuargod with the 15-year-old, he took his mother's hand and triumphantly remarked, "1 got in that box, anyhow 1 ." "You wait till I get you home," replied the mother darkly. The eldest boy was relumed to the institution.