BABU ENGLISH

Waikato Times, Volume 96, Issue 15100, 22 November 1922, Page 3

BABU ENGLISH

UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR. Some specimens of the unintentional humour of Babu Englisn are given in the Nineteenth Century” by Lieut.Colonel A. A. Irvine. A general who was head of the Mule Transport Corps at Simla was addressed as “Almighty Ass-Master.” In applying for a postion a Babu declared that he . was “punctual as a tick.” Another said: - “On the advent of the Great War I took to' the sword and became clerk in Military Accounts department.” A lady was described, as “a female woman of the opposite sex,” and a baker of English bread as “a European loafer.” In a letter of congratulation on the arrival of twins, the writer,offered “Best salaams to the prolonged baby.” In a college magazine a Bengali student wrote: —“With a last lingering look at the abode of his birth he gave motion to his legs with a gesticulation rather automatically without aim or destination.” At a later stage of the stroy itis recorded of the hero that “The former giant in structure, but short in sight, saluted his friend with a dash of his legs.” A Arm of polo-stick makers offered this excuse for non-compliancc with an order: —“The delay is due to the death of our grandmother, which is to be excused.. For, when the Maker calls the Make, what can wo be doing?’ After a great earthquake this telegram was sent from Dharmsala to Simla:— “Here earth is quack. How there?” Asked a prisoner looked so depressed, a gaoler said: —“Sir, this man is to be hanged to-morrow; so to-day he is peevish.” In a complaint concerning noisy students it was stated that “if these young bacteria are not stunted in their infancy they, will be highly perilous.” An anonymous letter to a district collector said: —“We have prayed for this man’s destruction, but not a single hair of his head has become curved. Having sucked our blooq he now proceeds to squeeze our bones. If you do not believe me, then cut my throat and the throat of all my family members with your own fair hands. ’ Asked what was the freight on an artificial leg, a native railway employee said: “There is no special provision, but I am hooking as musical instrument.” A man to whom a present of venison had been consigned was urged to call for his “deer corpse-” _ Describing the suppression of a riot, an India,n newspaper said: “Soon the stick of the deputy commissioner was hob-nobbing gaily from cranium to cranium.” A speaker on the Habitual Offenders Bill said: “If a man be convicted of a crime, let him •be nailed to .the counter.” The Babu is at his best in verse. One wrote: — Rule Britannia let us say, That God on our King George may In His usual merciful way

Send sunshine and happy days. In celebration of a shooting party arranged in honour of Mr Montagu, a poet declared that— The animals, too, in honour of Secretary of State, Were ready to sacrifice their lives —at any rate. This praise was given to a retiring deputy commissioner: — Search well in every nation, Such men you will find with caution I Do not run hither and thither, Search only in your liver! The principal guests at a festivity were presented witli cotton handkerchiefs printed with this couplet:— Each year God bless you more and more, With Garden Parties from His bounteous store.

A poet whose subject was “The Death of her late Majesty Queen Victoria” meant to show respect and reverence,.but his knowledge of English was so limited that lie wrote: — Dust to dust and ashes to ashes I Into, the Tomb the Good Queen dashes.