MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Waikato Times, Volume II, Issue 82, 7 November 1872, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

SiMPLici'Tt.—l can only account for the oxtrava gant, gaudy, bult-up dress of our times'by supposing tiiat people are trying lo hide tuernselviie, that, tlu.•re ju*t alraid of themselves as they are. They art not auifioiontly at home with themselves, and at ea«witu ot.ien, to triut them without disfiguring tia,» piuge. SiinpLe garments with simple lin.js, simple Ornaments, tuinplo.jieaJdre-'s, simple manners, H.rnpl. , movements—wao dares try then? VV.iu hm t ; n courage to beliove tlut th y won d c, tme soft as the dew on a nummer morning to our tired anl wear. hearts? Tne truth in that it needs strong courage to be eimple. It needs a measure of pure taste ; it demands qualities wnich grow by culture, and arc therefore rare. But how great is the virtue in one line, one fold t' I knew a church in Lancashire which i« nothing but a chancel, with one long straight line of roof. It in built of the dirty white and brown bnck in whick Lancashire seems to delight, with dull re.l ■andatone mullioiis to the windows. There is hardly an ornament any whore—nothing but simple lines, and yet it arrests and masters the eye at once. The lines arc ho finely proportioned, ho purely drawn, that it in ft fairer object to look upon than the most georgeou.i public building in the town. I was not surprised, on inquiring the name of the architect, to hear that of one of the very first in England. It is so simple that none but a master could have drawn it. Nothing is more sure than that elaborate complexity in dress, in habits, in food, ornaments stuck on, dishes heaped U) in costly profusion, walla covered w th qorgeuud yiMing, and tho like, are just the devices by w i ch men and women try to hide their feebleness, the r win!, o. moral and intellectual form, or of womanly d gnitv and grace. It is said by those wise in such matters that the true test of a ligure is the power to make the simplest line of dross, the one fold, effective. The test of a host is the power to make his company, an;l not his dinner, the attraction to his guests. The te-t of a house , loklor is the power to make his home nwe t and home-like, reposeful, refreshing, by the atno<p'lere that fills it, and the innate order of the min 1 whie'i manife.4l.ly reign 3 over oM.—The Conyreya

tio,ialid, for Ju'y. Raokoothuk C(mo\n:ns.Come, mv pret'y gentleman, let me tn'l you your fortune ! You are n !!no 1-look'ng dm'lin'.', with your blue eyes an 1 golden curly liar. You''l make -i fai ■ maf e for th brown-Haired rn-iid thnt's long : n:r for you A'i !no do erosi mv hail 1 w•tli a hit of silver, an 1 I'll I'sll <> all the gold fortune that wa : ti ve ! A'i ! give Ihe poor ninsv girl ft sixpence, sir! You'll m-ver miss it. and ye'll be rewarded by-an l-bv ! Let me tell vou fortune, sir !" " D m't worry the gentleman, Ma lw l,jn fortune's made. Here you are, s : i —three stieka penny. Como an I iinve a turn wth me, sir, at the dolls; and I've got a lot of fine new eocoanuK T can hoo you are a good shot, air. Here—l'll h >id your horse. Joe, hold the gentleman's stirrui '' " Don't you have nothing to do with him, sir ; l is nuts nr.i all ollor. Tr> A turn with me—trv a turn at the real original An it Sally. If you bre-.ik the pipe vou has " "Come and ring the hn'l, W! You pays me a shilling for six throws and I giv you a shilling every time you poos the ring on a short horn, and sixpence every time you Hops it on a 1 uv •„n " " Try the pietur card, 9ir! It's onlv a matteo l ' hovo against 'and. Try and catch the hemtero • T-iere ho is, you see, lookng as bold as brass; and T din its the three down, an I it's for you to say wlveh on 'em he is. T lere! I'll lav five, t<m, fifteen, or an even twen " Here, step it, Bil!—'ere's a bib bv ' —Lonlon Sorirfi/.

Th • in >st evlraord'narv of a'l culinary rocipea is tho followhif; diabolical given bv VTzaid in i> " IFmv to roa»t and cat a a'ive "-.—Take a go > o or a duck, or some such live creiture, nuM oT all 'v> feathers —only the head and neuk must he snared ; i.!\(<ii make a' fire round nbou* lier—not to-> close to }~,,. that the fire do not, tour-'i her; within th circle of the fire let there b* -et of water, mi'l, and honev a-o mingled, and let there be als-i full of sod lon aophu, cut inM 1 ! niece-T'oii'io-'e mmt be all larlol an 1 baste 1 ov-r -vit Iv^'ci , ; put the Cre about her. but do not mike 7ivi"h when y hi see to roast, for bv wi'khvT ahi'it an I tiv ; n? here and there, b'iM (Mvior : n hv t,he fire that x'-ops her wrv <»ho vr :r ftiM Id (lr ; uk water to quench her thirst, and cool ier h.ivt. an 1 all lier h>lv; (in 1 when she a e'visu ti"th ; nwnr 11 v a'vavs wet her head n'i 1 '• rt with a wet sponcce, an 1 when von see her giddy with ru'irvnt, an 1 be,'in to tumble, her hen>t. wan mois'ure, an 1 she is roasted enough. Ttik» hern an 1 sot lie; , Ivhro vour <tup*K airl shf will crv von cut off anv pnrt of her, and w : ll be almost eaten nn before she is dead. It is mighty pleasant to behold.

A le-vent. oountv iulgn of Oak 1 and, N.Y., u'ua 1 ! p-efaoo 1 a witonce with the folVvin r formula : " Pr' eoner, hold up your hand. You have boon fonrd fTii'H.y of [trespass, awanH, lareenv. ft* the cwomiV t b;\"] ' But the court takes into consideration that tlv 13 a now country. Society is unsettled, the laws n e not. understood," and wo must expect such thin t* ; n eet Ming a new country. So T £j ; ve vou 3"> days." O i one occasion a man was arraignod for wilful pe-iun-. Ho had property and standing but the ease wns so clcsir that; the .jury pronounced him givlty w ; thou' leaving their seats.' The pro wilting attorney was in eestacies o\er what all criminal lawyer* eons ; der n> small exploit—the recovery of a verdict of guilty on an indict'nent for perjury. The vrm brou rht iin for sentence, and the judw commenced : —" You have boon convicted of perjury, prisoner. This is a grave otfenci>; but I consider this is a new crtuntrv, and we must have some nerjurv anion? the diftluulties of settlins; a new country, so I shall srivc you only 30 days in the county ga >1" T'ie proseoutinsi attorney, t/> wind up a case of false swearing, ■went outside the court-house and gave vent to a large volume of the genuine article. A most extraordinary accident recently o-vurod on the Caledonian Railway, at a pW>e called Moocrossing, about, six miles north of A brend cart, the pony of wluoh was being led bv a man n-vne 1 Joseph Andrews, M'hfte' his wife was sit tins: on the fivmt of the cart, came ii'\ and was gomg over the which was in charge of a b>v, when the Ghsg'-)w and South-western train from the no"th Younlo'i the curve, and in a moment dashed ; nto the. bread cart, in which Andrew's wife was The cart and its content* were sma? 1 into atom*, and p?rtbns of it knocked as fir a=? -l">0 The w> mxn was sent flying tlirmvih the a : r a d : *tan-e 01,o 1, fullv thirty yards, and alurVed on the ra ; R<w em-hankm-n^,, while the 'eaierof escape ' U'hurt. The w.vnin, if wns tVnght. won'd ■ a e been killed, but, marvellous to r°ate ? v e nppea-'H t> be no vorse for her H'\t v -inl walked home to Carlisle. The cart and br.wtwre gat , ere:l up in fra<imentß. b-3 the little children who nvike up so u'v consciously our life disappointments. Ho v mmr couples, niutuallr unable to bear each other's failts or to bear the causes of irritation, find solae* for the pain in those goMen which still continue tou lite them! On that they are one. There they can really repo?e. Those frasrile props keep them from quite sinking b-y life's outside. How , often has a little hand drawn amiably together tw? else unwilling ones, and made them see how bnsht and blessed eartli' lfiavbecome in pronouncmg that little word— , 'forgive !_";■ ■"" A handbill has been, put forth at Exeter, headed. • r Wanted a few healthy uae:i bSrs to complete a sick ■ocietv-" •••'■ - ■-. .

- la.tke interests of justice we often sympathise with the endeavours of the employed to improve their position. Tiie following ie a ca.->e in wtiich we feel that they have at lea.it a'show of reason : "An endeavour IK being iimle in Batii to get the waged ■ f t ia iriillincia and of that city increased, fney complain that a B'uihng per day is inadequate i'ur tneir support, and moreover that it i* not a stuU-,-ient recompense , for the number of hours of w.uch -ie day consist*. Tuey draw the attention of i.ie inspector to the fact tiirfb young people may be imnd ia Uβ workrooms after four o'clock on Saturdays." Tne notion of a eiiiilmg.a day is .absurd, an 1 cruel, and unload a grievous misrepresentation, is a grievous wrong. How can a lady be otherwise than miserable—supposing she has a conscience—who displays her attire, the perfecting of which codta twelve peru-'j a day ? Side by aide with the foregoing, we cannot do better than range the following from the Journal of Applied Science: —"A clergyman residing in Sussex having bwn greatly troubled with numbness in hid iiinbd, and other symptoms which led hid physicians to suspect lead poisoning, sent to us the ash resulting from the combustion of one of the paper collars worn by him, and wo found upon analysis that it contained carbonate of Lead in considerable quantity. This dangerous substance ia used in the glazing of some cuffs and collars made of paper, and wiien tiie hands and ' neck perspire, or any abrasion of the skin occurs, the lea! is absorbed and poisorung results." It is very much to be regretted tuat manufacturers will coni,iniio recklessly to pander to the absurd taste for c and risk at once the r own reputation, and tie lives of her Majesty's subjects, by us.ng cheap poisonous dyes and otiier ingredients. An American paper says tne following resolution ias been unanim<ju>ly alopted by the Protectant episcopal Councl at Norfolk, upon the reionmenlation of the Bishop; "Kesolved, that in thejudgnent of this Council all members of this cliurci s lould discountenance the practice of promiscuous ■)L" round-dancing, and that our ministers, by their :>a-storal influence and by faithfully executing the •unons of the Church bearing upon the subject, siould d and restrain it." Tiie Cuemical Bwieiv observes a3 follows with re-

'.■rence to a point of some domestic interest : —" Halw.ic'i.s that not only green bat red carpets il-io contain arsenic, particularly those brilliant dark rul* n>w so much in vogue. Samples of these carpet-.-. )iirnci with the blue arsenic dame, and gave olf the • laraeteristic garlic odour. Enough colour to give a <l'-jtini.-b arsenic reaction could be rubbed off' w th the inger. A solution of hydros done acid produced with copper the usual greyish precipitate of metallic arsenic." A contribution to the biography of the late Charle> Dickens is offered by the writer of an unpublished diary, from which we make the extract. Tlie < ntr refers to D ckens j )>nin' the h rung C'ironicle a< a r-p'>rtcr: —" y ton afterwards lob erved a great dif fircme in C. D.'s dress, for lie kid bought a new hai and a very handsome blue cloik, wh.eh he ->rp ■ ins should T3 a L Eipngnol. . . . We w; Iked to fchro-igh H;ing;'rford Market, where we >.> lowjl a coalheaver, who carr.ed his little r>;ybu 'c .ny oh d looking over his shoulder; and 0. D bmjit a hilf-penny worth of cherries, an i ash went ilon,' he gave them one by one to the lit* - '' fellow without the knowledge of the lather. . . . He in/br ne 1 me as he walked through it that he l;ne.v ZT'»79rford Market well He did not aiL'c! to conceal the difficulties he and his family hnd had > o i end a'a nst." The above is entered under the d i e J ily, 1833 —Abhenaw.n. T e story of the two trombones is a good 0 le night a trombone player wished to be absi nt. Rom the orchestra; an 1 as there was another trom b)ie, instead of asking leave of the conductor, he r'ioi'ted to the exped : ent of getting a friend to go aid ake his seat. " Watch the other trombone,'' : l lie to his friend; "pu'.F out your cheeks well, k 'ep vour fingers active,'look alive, and you will pass •uuter." All went well until a passage for two trornb mes wis reac ted. Not a sound from the instruI Ml! S ! It turned out that, b >th the trombone players h'd -esoi'ted ro tlie same ruse. T iere a-.v>:>ar* to etist a srrcator desire to live long

thai to live well. Measure by man's desiree, he ean n>i lire long enoug!i; measure by his good deeds, n.l lie has not lived long enough; measure by his e\' I deeds, and he has lived too long. A Qfirrulouß barber happening to be to shavo the hilo<ophe. An-h >laus, asked him, "How shall I shx/e yju, Sir?" "In silence," i vas the reply.