THE O'DOOLAN DISCOURSES.

Wanganui Herald, Volume XXXV, Issue 10321, 25 April 1901, Page 3

THE O'DOOLAN DISCOURSES.

CuUed from the yarns of Mr Barney Mulefthey, late oE the Harp of Erin Hotel.

(With apologies -to Mr Dooley, of Chicago.)

. vn. o'Grstdy was iv merry mood the night after the memorable Mayoral election of 1891. ~ Mr O'Doolan was a few minutes after his usual hour, and when he made his appearance, O'Grady wot somewhat surprised to observe that his etnto •■( mind seem'd in nowise affected one way or the other. It took a great deal to ups2t Mr O'Doolan. "Yez is late; Mr CDoolan," said O'Grady, as our old friend took his usual chair.

"Vis, me bhoy," said Mr, O'Doolan. "Barney, me lad; fetch some whiskey to dhrown th' Bowl out ay me. Well, Tim, an' Hathrick's Mayo» fur anuther year." ' 'fYez don't seem onduly illivnted over ■ut, Mr O'Doolan," remarked O'Grady. "An' phat fur shud I be? Fur why shud I go crowin' all over th' town, bekoße th' jnan I voted fur got in. He won't da his worrk my betther fur me makin' a ass ay meself."

"Thrae," said O'Grady; then, after a few moments, "I see Ikey Moses hud a lasht expirin' sphlutther at yez, Mr O'Doolan."

"Ho, yis ! Ho ! Ho !"and Mr O'Doolan gave a rich, round chuckle. '"Who is this O'Doolan?' he sez. 'His humour is thin,' he sez. 'I can see ut aisily, but I cannut laugh. He is not on our side. If he wua I >wud shplit me sides.' Did yez remark h's concluding worrds, Tim?" asked Mr O'Doolan.

i "Yah \ Yah ! Yah \" shrieked O'Grady in an'Tinhearthly voice. Mr O'Doolan went 'on. '"It is not fair/ sez Ikey Mo. "He has wrote a sviruted sons; about me, an' has made me say, 'Yay!' It is th' marrk ay a hoodlum. People will think I is wan. O'Doolan is an ould whiakey-dhrinkin' Irishman.'" - , - "Pwhat hecum ay Bnssett's committy, Mr O'Doolan?" "Wid th' exciTwhun ay Ikcy Mo, they was all found at a early hour nixtmornin' lyin'nndher th' Town Bridne, an' sufferin* front bip 'heads. Ikey Mo wus discnvcred on th' dure shtep ay his qu'et home 'an' wu's put to bid. I've just bin in to see him." "Yez has, Mr "O'Doolan?" cried O'Grady, with surprise on his every feature. "An' pwhnt fur notf" returned O'Doolan. "'Twas that made me late. Afther exchanain 1 a few worrds wid him, he s.ez, 'O'Doolan,' he sez, 'yez is a sad ould case. You an' me has bunged each uther in th' eye. We hay" hit harrd. Th' illickshnn is over. Fur why shud we kape on fi^htin' like Kilkenny cats? Let us bury th' hatchit. Will | yez shake?* *I will,' sez I;' an' we shuk j hands hearrtily."- " Tis th' "best way," sa : d O'Gradv. 1 "I'm' glad ay ut. Pwhat about th' ould 'Chronicle'?" "Well, there's worse than th' ould Buster. It will dv good worrk yit, if only it will civ cool, calm reflecshun.to things, instid ay runnin* at thim like", a mad bull chargin' a barb wire fince,"

"Poor ould Bassett will be falin' anyhow," said O'Grady next. - , "That will bu fur yez, Tim," said Mr O'Doolan, with. as. near an approach to sternness as lie was capable of. "Th' lllickshun is over, an' we must sittle down friendly. As I said wanst before, he is a good bhoy, an' yez cannot deny that in this cont'st he has behaved himself like a gintleman." "Yez shtCTUV him harrd, Mr O'Doolan,"' said- O'Grady, looking rather humbled.

"I did. I admit lit; an' l's. not sorry fur it. Personally, lis good frinds wid Bassett, tho' we do not dig wid th' same fut; but _ wus desirous ay imphasizin' th 1 ridiculosity ay his lettin' lrmself bo deoaved by a lot by shpaln«ens Twhat nrofißßos frindly torrds him, an'^wid dhrop him to-morrow if ut suited thim,"'auswered Mr O'Doolan with some warmth. - "He mußt blame thim fur ut. His turrn will cum, an' I do not doubt he' will make a tidy Mayor." , , "Pk-wat about Hathrick? ' next asked O'Grady, who seemed bent on catechisinar. "Sueciss to him," said Mr O'Doolan, Tnisins his class. ."He is a good man. Now is his time to jnake W»neranui an illis;ant place. 'Tis as line a little town as my on arth. Tim," he continued seriously. "Let him pass a law ae ; n slums, an* make ay ut a fine, sui shiny little city, full ay green threes an' gardins. ■Bassett will carry on !he work. Here s luck to him, an' may th' nixt silver cradle he gite be a gowld wan." '•Barney Mulcahev. y tliafe ay th worrW," said our old friend, "brmß in th' whiakcy, an' take wan wid us. 8h0j3," he concluded, rising as he spoke, "Here's succiss an' good timpei to frinds an' foes."