The Wanganui Chronicle. "Nulla Dies Sine Lines." TUESDAY, MARCH 30. 1909. MARRIAGE VOWS.

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume L, Issue 12186, 30 March 1909, Page 4

The Wanganui Chronicle. "Nulla Dies Sine Lines." TUESDAY, MARCH 30. 1909. MARRIAGE VOWS.

Why should a bride promise obedience P This is a question which has many times and oft been discussed. A lady named Sarah A. Tooley has published in a London paper a very interesting article on the question. Who was it, she asks, who first inserted thoze little words "and to obay," in the marriage vow of 1 the Protestant bride? A cc'ibate prelate, without doubt, fcr it is an old adage that only bachelors' wives and old maids' children are obedient! It is a pity that the Pan-Anglican Congress, which concerned itself considerably •vvith matrimonial affairs, did not revalue this portion of the marriage se:rvice. The Colonies set the example foi the legalising oJr marriage with a deceased wife's' sisrer, and in© Colonial 'Bishops might have done good service to engage the recent Congress in discussion on the anachronism of the women's vow of obedience. The undesirability of imposing a solemn vow, with the known certainty that it can never bo kept, is apparent, w'.ale th? position cf subjection, in which it places an adult woman to another human being quite as liable to err in judgment as herself is an insult to her conscience and intelligence. The writer says she once witnessed a Quaker wedding, the simplicity of which greatly, appealed to her. Tho young couple simply rose in their places at a meeting for worship, and, taking each other by tlie hand, declared in a solemn and audible manner to the following effect :—T he bridegroom first: "Friends, I take this my friend, C D., to bs my wife, promising, through Divine assistance, to be unto her a loving and faithful husband, until it shall pleaso the Lord by d€?ath to separate us." And then the bride in like manner: "Friends, I' tako' this- ray friend A. 8., to be my husband, promising, through Divine- assistance, to be unto him a loving and faithful wife, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate, us." Here we have psrfect equality of husband and wife in their pledges to each other before God. Certain persons %vere moved to rise and ad- | dress the meeting or to offer exhortations to the young pair. The bridegroom and bride signed the register, the officer eft-he meeting-house read aloud the marriage certificate, and the wedding was at an end. The ancestors of this particular bridegroom passed their honeymoon in Bedford gaol, 250 years 3.g0, for being thus married. The Quakers, however, persevered in their opposition to tyranny, until they obtained the legaL right to marry according to their own principles. The Quaker women -are notable examples of good and faithful wives and devoted mothers, though they have never uttered that little vow "to obey." The Jewess is also exempt from any such vovr. As she stands beside her bridegroom under tli1© flower-decked bridal canopy the woman of this ancient race pledges herself to be a good and faithful wife, and is enjoined by the officiating rabbi to make the home a place of happiness; and iove for the bread-winner when he returns from his toil. The bridegroom, in addition to the promise of faithfulness, ..gives a pledge to work for tho support of his wife. In the Jewish marriage, therefore, the greater obligation is required from the man. The Greek Church does not impose a marriage vow of obedience. The ceremony is very long and exceedingly picturesque, bub llie actual vows are short and simple. At the espousals, or first "office," thoso who are to be married stand before, a table and place their right hands upon the Book of the Gospels. The priest says to the bridegroom: "Wilt thou have N. to thy lawful wife and promise her fidelity, love, help and kind treatment all thy life?" and the man answers: *'I will have her and I promise." Then the priest asks of tho bride: "Wilt thou have M. to thy lawful husband, and promise him fidelity, love, help, and kind treatment all thy life?" And she answers: "I will have him and I promise." So far we have complete equality between the vows undertaken by the man and the woman, But in the further service of solemnisation the wife is admonished to "fear her husband." Still, she may use her discretion as to acting on this advice; she makes no vow of obedience. Both hus-

band and wife are married with rings, and both wear a wedding wreath of artificial flowers at the office of thecoronation when, joining hands with the paranymph, or best man, they parade round the table three times. The ' paranymph, a very important p?rson in' a Greek marriage, may bo a woman, and in a wedding which the writer recently witnessed, the elder sister of the bridegroom performed the duties. She ex changed the rings and the crowns or wreaths of the bridal pair, and stood to them as sponsor. The dignity of the ' matrimonial coronation of the Greek Church is equal between the man and

tlio woman. Both a*"c addressed as kings by the priest, who hails them thus: "Be thc;u magnified." At one portion of the service the bridal pair jKivanca to stand upon the sacred carpet, and according to popular tradition, tho one who first gains the carpet will rule. The bride, therefore, gets her chance. The Roman Catholic Church decs not impose a marriage vow rf -obedience. The bridegroom says :"I lake, thee, N., to my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward irr/ better, for wo'.s?, for richer, for poorer, in nekness and in health, til 1 death us do part, if holy Church will it permit, and thereto I plight my trotli." Tho bvido likewise repeats: "I take thee, M., to my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward for better, for wo:s;\ for richer, fopoorer, in sickness and in health, till death us do part, if holy Church will it permit; and thereto I plight thee my troth." In the Church of England marriage service the pledges exchanged by Iride and bridegroom are identical with those quoted above from the Ronri'i Catholic Missal, with tho exception that tho words "according to God's holy ordinance" are substituted* for the Roman formula "if holy Church will it permit/ a:id tho notable addition of the words "and to oBey" in the pledge of the bride. Is it possible that Henry VIII.. suggested the interpolation of the marriage vow of obedience on ihe part of tho woman when Convocation, was remodelling the Soa'vice Book at the Reformation? Did that Royal Bluebeard desire to see all the wives of the country placed in subjection because Queen Katharine had proved refractory regarding the divorce? Or did Ihe idea originate with Archbishop Cranmer, who thought that his Royal master ■? wives were causing the country trouble? One is tempted to speculate fur^ ther and inquire whether t^at vow of obedience did hot keep Elizabeth a virgin Queen. In due time tho dissent-

ing Churches followed suit, and when preparing their own special marriaga for vices adopted the wife's vow of obe^dienco contained in the Church of England service. So the idea of the subjection of the wife has been emphasised throughout Protestantism, the Society of Friends, however, being a notable exception.