Humor.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2041, 11 March 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Humor.

Stories of Law>crs. Mr. told a s'. on M ala"yiD"t other night which is a legal luneu rat which derived a gnat d'-al "1 nov-lty li ai. a Angularly humorous di-.a :iu o'li lie m' •• lie said tills lawyer "as rathir givi n to tbottle, and. iiid< i'll, he was in th bi.-ii of going on pr-tra.-ltd-pr-e-. A "M.l ra.nv lawyers do. 1 know lawyeis who g" . n a -pice-whet. they 1 a ■■ n ra- ; and 1 ha'- e kmo. u some to e i on '.1;.-e;,;. ; i very time le v c t af. m ver knowing now bmg p mc;il oo behue they p, i nm-i p -r. I- -1 t aie .■ ■ in. thing lather n-v. Lan .ihr:i;;i' a! ■ ■ i-1 I lie pi"elivities of Mr. V b> tm H- m-v. r km when he started on a spice «: : it -"I end. It always be- .n in >; am y. but lie often soil led up ill ,\i ib 'iirir . • r A • male, or liris'oane. or sonmv. iao en., a-Iran le me. He was always piep.md for it. h- u< m :. :ne: whenever he sobered ep In - iiunieoia' •■.y huti p out his shiupie and started piaei.enp !• r , m iipli niotiev t. i tak ■ loin bam. to bmiiiey, winch lie a.wav- reach' d ultimately, II- got . n a *• bn-' •’ one-, and wi ti I e earn- to th- end ot hj - t.th.-r he loan i himself sobering up in Madge-. Having bat .nr suit of raiment, he bunp up his s’.iaig.e milside the door, fbi- r -m in tb- lm!. 1. and Went to la d while hi- e. -tun;.- "a- r. in-n-wedfor "car. lb va- in t!” d.p’i - d slumber wb- Ti a l.n ai. nt-us-d him. llrequested Ibe ktioek. r to enter, and a <• dtronp man, ins. .niewl.at rough iit'ii" v.,i1..el in. ■■ Are v..a a lawyer?” Yes.’’ he an-w'eied, fr in tic

He sat up in b-.1. di. a th- 1.. .1 1 ' l.'« anuind him in an in-.'ant. at. i a- .m- i an inter. st-J air. - Sin- v.nir ca--.” Will, yeii I r-n; d a ti '. i . r ■ mm leg di-d.” In ’ ! ■■lndeed.; W-U." W. li; Ham l I g..t a en-.; a-ab. t li.at man ? " •• I'llpac-'.iotiabiy. i'mi 1' i; me. what did Die 1.-i-e die ■ 1 .' '' " Ahem ! ” •• ( an'. I u- tit ■ man l-i 1 1 1 - v..i 1 - ■■! '’ - h-rs.i .' lie i' ad n't an; bmm -- t.. p.. ano i- nt in- a li' id will, shake- in il. tael in •• Vou’ie ri-lil, sir. p. rb et! v i b ht. 1 >.> y- -i want me to take Up to- ea— ’’ - Ye-, of e. ill,--.” " Ahem i V. hat—"hat au.-.oil--v. b.d f. - do you pr-ji. -e to . ;? ” •■Well. I baven't e-t any m-e-y. T! give yen - ..) ti. horse.” -Wry ■_... d. W i at, may ! a-k- "ha: d. you eon-id-r is the value ..I ti:- i -a- ’ V •• It wasn't very young. Il had been kb b. I by a mule, and it bad falh ’i n si-.' l , and it had been liii. on . c ,-ixkcii; eaiding .jiiarlr. ficm mill. Wed. u v i.-n'i we.i. I should say it Worth al.-i:S li '." The law;, er p. inly Jar do" ii i-i I-. i ami 0 . - pared to go to tleep. ilc gave •ne la-t I- k at the client. •• Imurl up tiling. I am ui-paped f-r ti . snake.” A well-kin .wit lawyer in town had ..n— a ea.-e whi-h d-veloped imne n-e in,p. u : f..r a man win. is in wami dm me.ie, i- .1 v.: - at that tim- poor. This wa- a -ail O. against lorn about a pie. -of land. 'ld- .1. - fondant had engaged I*. g.v- th- la" v r -liethird of tin pr..p. Ny a- a fee, e. ni in :-n'. In the District Cunt tic ea-e van! f-r lpplaii.lili, but on appeal Hi- d.e.-...n was reversed and the deb-n iani wftn. 'be- lawyer took the third. A lew days after the dee;, sion the client came in. looking tP'iibied. -I.onk here, that leli-wb su. .1 ne- again about that land.” '• On what grounds ? " *• An old giant or min. lion-; 10-n'tkn -a. 1 want, y.-u to ih f-n i nn .” “ All ’right.” “ Y’es. lull 1 ih-n't want to p.d np any money. Ib.w niueli will you l.d.- 1 " •• t ine-lhiid.” - Olie-t hi Id.’ ” veii. 1 t : I eiii ni "I ' 1 ■ mill'' : amuie-r suit i-D a.:- m- .ml.”

It Was Cheaper "i- • •" widower au 11 .us a ■-■ -d be- b ■;; mu . l.a- 1- - n devofed of lat- I- ap: - '1;. • .n;.: 1’ t sC. n', who just mnv is up in tie- Idee M--a. i : , n-. Their In- it -have In. n pn tty wvd s.ili-ln d that vv.ol.iln C c-.l e vm- I • b- on,- of tee |ootl|s--mc tr. .1' of lie* n ar lulut- . bin a 1 Itll-■ tin;: i-app-am iI . oil:, r day. lied raav pos-p 1 ha's -t 10l i --,. I w el-m 1 ioiirnei cl i.p io - 1- - s-.m --tie all. who is siayiny at .-nc to, IM. M, li.-i- a-l .-1 eiiiabiny in(o|i-.-«;ayeat (he railway -tat :on. walked--v r the si-ny r--a i I-- the b"'l--ir>. 1 !-■ was nr- i an- i -o. ;-h. a:.-! «hi n I, • n-a -!---d til. 1 p-a.'-a where 1 1 - le-nan; fair one aua le-; boa. "I'M wh.y del ton w a i, .' ’ she i a. d. an 1 wa- --v Meat !y . \pe-l ne s- m- yailalit r- sp.-ns a v, u lie- - hi w M .w. r eai-aper.” I lie yoany woman di -tp -1 Mai then and tin re. 1’ >-. My .1 miylit not lav been so la 1. l-ut lie- nnfeelill-j WI- t<■ 1 1 ha i sjioken I -a-i eiionyh I" 1 ■-■ In,aid to a - n iti.-ar yne-'s - a that pia./a. and that. --, e-liioe.' was m.mina! by. ml I--r ■:. -e----lie r- Ill'll, d 10 the -tati--n l.\ ; ••• If \I I lam heim-wai i I---an 1. ami I t-".ha ilm - M lover wans until ait- r the Wei’.dia i i - do lua preacniny - n e-'-m-nn. Tie- fi-la. b--aid with da.m;- s yt. ~n- 1 S-i did lb- Summer b .;.io. is. ,\. ’r- -it:i 1 1 n ty a’ 1 > .1 - aia i - a- i An 1 wla 'll- I with Ia- ir ".-id- • Of four, a rouyui-h 'dn-.-i -- II" watch- d in i ev- iv an - :;i]-1 \ T- - 1 1 -11 le, r•! ak for -linn. t. led all in vain m-r -ir ic-tn si;, s,, ■ Ih-.e ktdle l-i-.-,.' se;„,. ,y i t; a d lit Alter a I' ll;, tidy i>:.. II eliail-vd tad le- had . -t-dy -en 1 low n.I; -ar -s- -mil -ae-- 1 1 ai - !, An-1 1..--ae;;e l .M I), n; , ,y Ida- le,-' -1! he I'., p. at -i ; for. v. itli a dra-a i. an 1 -him a-.- i - , 1, -e.-liy ami - i-ar le- a-i. dd. To b-m c-ed' .'i--n and -.irpri«e. Mamma, w dy -i--u’l y.-u blast it //«•- i I-.’ t laa-lin-;) —” Ah .Valid- r 1. ,u.s S Uhl for vo. d, lie” 11,/, - I .'till, I’ve t.-l-l vou ia-]H at til 1 y m-xi-r to n a. i m- a lit;--alj--.it tho horn-1 aet--rs ami m in - - "