"HOWLERS."

Wairarapa Age, Volume XXV, Issue 10713, 25 February 1914, Page 7

"HOWLERS."

In the language of Brown, minor, some really "spiffin" specimen® of schoolboy examination "howlers" are reproduced in the current University Correspondent. They are all guaranteed genuine, but some of them bear a very strong resemblance to the faked article, a*', for example, "The flannelette peril means petticoat government." But there are others -which bear the schoolboy hall-mark, and no apology will bo needed for reproducing a few of the choicest:— The chief provision of tbo Great Charter were Universal Suffering, Votes for Women, and Abolition of Poverty. finally James 11. gave birth to a son, and so the people turned him off the throne. After twice committing suicide, Cowper lived till 1800, when he died a natural death. When the last French attack at Waterloo proed a failure, Napoleon turned very pale and rode full gallop to St.-Helena. Gong y the masculine of belle and vicar of vixen. Julius Caesar was murdered in the Cinema House. Much butter is imported from' Denmark, because Danish coats have greater enterprise and superior technical education to ours. The Three Estates of the Realm are Buckingham Palace, Windsor, and Balmoral. , The courage of the Turks i& explained by the fact, that a man with more than one wife is more willing to face death itihan- if he had only one. , The Mediterranean and the Red Sea are joined by the Sewage Canal. • An appendix is a portion of a book which nobody has yet discovered to bo of any use. An elephant is a square animal with a tail in front and behind.

Woman's suffrage is tlie state of suffering in which they are born. A candidate -for the Ciyil Service must be a neutralised British subject. The circulation of the blood was invented by Martin Harvey. A problem is a figure which you do things with which are a'hsurd and then ywn prove it. Q: Under "what condition will a body float in water? A: After it lias been in .the water three days. . An octapus is an eight-sided figure. A synonym is a word you can use when you don't know how to spell the one you first thought of. Before a man can become a monk he has to have his tonsils cut.' The'mineral wealth, of a country is ginger beer and lemonade. The tropic of cancer is a painful and incurable disease, •uicer describes the.Prioress as amiable of poi't, he means that she was fond of wine. Milton was called the father of English poetry because he was blind mid his daughter did the writing for him. Milton wrote "Sampson the Agnostic." The Minister of War is the clergyman who preaches to the soldiers in the barracks. The Immortal William is a phraseapplied, to tha German Emperor. People are vaccinated by "being inartioulated with lint. The collection includes the following translations:— Elle a les dents blands- —She is wearing white kid gloves. Ganaei puel'lao formosae sunt. — Beaiutiful girls are cheeky. Vis no me tangerep—Will you not dance the tango with >me? Poeta nascitur non fit. —A nastypoet is fit for nothing.