The Way it is Done.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1216, 23 January 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

The Way it is Done.

Lovely woman, you may think yourself tolerably well posted m your understanding oi the masculine nature, but, dear, were you the wisest female that ever lived you could not comprehend the full extent of his vanity. Flatter the average man, dearest, and you can get whatsoever you choose from him. He is like the cat, love, rub the right way and he ia tickled most to death. Now, the T.C, knows a commission merchant who ia as good a fellow as ever lived, and withal endowed with more than the ordinary allowance of common sense. He is not handsome, but he'd pasa in a crowd. He has a fine open countenance, and it may be that Dan Bacchus has left a little tinge upon the tip of his nose, which rather clashes with one's general idea of estheticism. The T.C. will now beg the general reader to accompany him to that merchant's office— time, one cloudy afternoon of this week : Tall Lady in Black - 1 just dropped in to make a social call, Mr. Onions (abstractedly). Excuse me for being so familiar, Mr. Onions, but did any one ever tell you of your resemblance to the first Napoleon ?" Onions (smilinp) — Hem, ah ! Now that you mention it, Miss Serge, it has been re,marked. I think, I think that the likeness, if any, lies about the nose. Lady— And the figure, Mr. Onions, the air milttaire. That's the way with all you handsome men, you are too modest. I hope lam not occupying your time. Onions (gallantly) — It could not be better occupied. Miss Serge. (If Mrs. O. were but hern). Now, can Ido anything for you ? Lady — Well, dear Mr. Onions (O, that nose), you are my landlord, you know, and if you could make some little reduction in the rent — Onions— But, my dear Madam, you have it five dollars a month cheaper than the last tenant. Lady— Ah — my, what an eagle eye— but consider how I am situated, Mr. Onions, you handsome men should not be so hard-hearted to the sex you make suffer. . 'Nough paid. When the lady left, five minutes af csrward, her face waa wreathed in smiles, and then the T.C's friend drew a pocket-glass from hia vest, he murmured: " If I were not so straight-laced what havoo I'd make among the girls." — Tlie Town Crier tn. Kill Pvavcisco N>-io*-Letter.