ENJOYING ONE'S SELF.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1162, 15 July 1885, Page 4

ENJOYING ONE'S SELF.

- To enjoy one's self in Otago means to go from horne — to go picnicking,— toj co jaunting — or to go excursioning. iTd go i on a pilgrimage I was almost about to say ; for travelling in New Zealand is much like what Peter the Hermit and others of that ilk had to undergo eight hundred years ago. For a Lawrence man to enjoy himself means that he is bound to get up some morning in the middle of the night ( !) and start away shivering and trembling with, the staggers to the .railway station; arrived there — to book for the North Island, or, in the event of cash being limited, to book for North Otago. He takes the express train .for Milton from Lawrence* but as' /he is 1 wtiiskedNdniough the air at a speed truly terrible by one of our bogie engines (is ttiafc~the name of them ? for I believe 4 1 have got hold of the Wrong cognomen fpr those } l Flying Dutchmen.") Anyhow, whatever you call them they convey the pleasure-seeker at a tremendous rate of speed to Milton, and arrived in that " City of the Plains," also, I believe, called the v City of Potteries," and by some the "City of Technical Education" — arrived there the pleasureseeker has the pleasure of meeting all, or nearly all, of the inhabitants at the railway station, and this is a chance, if he wishes to deliver an open-air ■political address,' or to open a detachment of the Salvation Army ; for there is the shelter of the station to protect him from the burning tropical heat of Milton skies, and there are the people ready gathered free of charge— without the expense df advertising or putting up posters to draw them;. When Igo on a pilgrimage I do twt invariably address the civilians, but allow them to pursue the even tenor of their ways — some to their potteries, Borne to their technical education, and the rest to Host Kett, who will regale them with spirits from the vasty deep (his cellar). I remember once journeying with some boon companions through Tuapeka County to Roxburgh. It was late in the evening when we drove into " The Teviot," and one of my companions, having surveyed the outlook for some time with rather a demoralised air, opened fire at the 'ostler at the principal hotel (they'll be all claiming this title when they read this). He asked " Can you direct us to the township from here." Well, that was the coolest bit of "sarkasm" that ever I heard uttered yet. You need not %Sk the direction of Milton when you get there by rail, for the cloud of smoke overhanging the "City of Potteries" 1 betokens the presence of Milton's great industrial institution. However, if you wish to enjoy yourself, don't remain long in Milton. There was once a town (or city) in New Zealand where the grass grew so fast in the streets that the Lord Mayor had to instruct the surfacemen to mow it down and check the growth by constant tarring. Don't let the grass grow under your feet in Milton, or in a very short time everybody in the "city" by some extraordinary system of private intelligencing will have become conversant with all the particulars about your history, mystery, and destiny. Pass b'n ! to the Taieri Plains, part of which, especially I about Henley and Waipori, resembles the I fertile Nile delta of Egypt of "which the Otago school inspector Writes" its annual inundations are well-known." I reckon the inhabitants know all' about it; for some of them show., a certain series of marks' on their door-posts with figures appended, or perhaps the information concisely put-^" Flbodmark ' ; of "1883 ;" "Floodmark of 1884; " and so on. No doubt their annual inuridationi are wellknown—perhaps too well-known. Probably the prettiest sight on all .that yerdant plain is the snowy cap of Maungatua, glistening in the sunlit air. I have always found, however, that you can contemplate the " glories of an Alpine ' landscape with more pleasure when it recedes in the dim distance from your view, and the glories of Maungatua andothernaturalramparts of the Western Taieri frontier are, no exception in my experiences. The f grandest sight in Otago' is yet to come 'as we journey northwards, ' when 'that vast expanse of fresh water, bearing 6n4ts 'bosom the skiffs of many nationalities and known to the inhabitants- of -the vicinity as Lake Waihola, is. reached.- . lam not sure that you will find Lake Waihola on a map of IJie:world,'vbut,s>©f oourse,-the!difficulty of lifting, ,-. it , presents ; , the; rj possibility .of their putting it., on a sheet of paper measuring anything less than ten acres. The train stops- at ,W;aihola.to enable traveling pilgrims, to regale, on coffee and sandwiches— of sandwiches' there are none to be obtained of a greater age than a fortnight ! Do not, gentle reader* 1 pay for one plate 1 of buns/&c, wnile making a scarcity of two. " There are young men in Otago, and old ones too, who 'do ridit scruple to pocket enough buns and sandwiches on , the cheap at Waihola to keep the wolf from the door for a week— cm cm average, as the Schoolmasters' Association -would say. But time is precious, , and the engine rattles along at such an enormous speed that few men could keep up with it at a jog-trot, unless they went as faef'as

a' Chinaman. A shriek and a whizz, a muffled groan, and the train darts into the tunnel, whence, after travelling about in the ' bowels of the earth, like a blindfolded candidate 1 becoming a member of a mystic lodge, it at last emerges again into >. daylight. Now, if you. really, my gentjle reader, want to enjoy your honeymoon, don't go beyond Dunedin. I did, unfortunately, and didn't find the prospect a payable one at all. There are few diggings like the home where "we waa ' " ' ' "' Cooey.

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