"DOING A POLICEMAN."

Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1162, 15 July 1885, Page 3

" DOING A POLICEMAN."

'•Well, I got clean sold the other day, to be sure," said policeman X2l, putting the pewter pot on the beilch beside him. " 'Taint often I'm done ; but I just was then, and no mistake." " As how ?" inquired a friend. "I'll tell you. I was a resting, calm and quiet as could be, against Mrs Higginbottom's arey railings, thinking o1o 1 things in general, and the beefsteak pudding as Sairey Jones had promised to make for me that evening, in particular, when a cove comes runnin' round a corner, with his face as red as a pickled cabbage, and scarcely able to draw his breath nohow." " ' Oh ! police,' says he I'm precious glad I found you. Look sharp ! you're wanted!' and I'm blest if he didn't seem quite done up with running, for he couldn't say any more for puffing and blowing. "' What's the row,' says I. " ' Make haste ! — run ?' says he, as soon as he had got a breath, ( run to Stubb's Court. There's a cove a-lickin' of his wife with a thick stick, and she's a-callin' murder, and there's sich crowds o' people standin' round.' " ' What sort of a chap is he ?' says I — cause, you see, I thought if he were a coachey, or summat o' that sort, I wouldn't undertake him by myself." " ' Oh, he's rather a littlish chap,' says the feller, ' but he's uucommon ; savage.' I " That was enough. Off I cuts to Stubb's Court, like winking.' And when I got there — guess what it was ! " Why, wasn't there no row at all ? " inquired the friend. i " Oh, there was a cove a-lickin' of his wife with a thick stick, sure enough ?—? — and they was kickin' up a desperate row— and there was a quantity of [ people a-standin' round. But who do you think the man and his wife was ?" " Can't say— Who ?" ! "Punch and Judy!" said X2l— i " blest if it wasn't!"