SHADES OF WOMEN.

Star (Christchurch), Volume LXVI, Issue 20280, 14 April 1934, Page 20 (Supplement)

SHADES OF WOMEN.

Three Queens Converse on Matters Pertinent. A DELIGHTFUL FANTASY*. (Bv E. D. M. DOUST, M.D.) “I think.’’ said Cleopatra, carefully regarding the polish on her finger nails. “That the world must be improving.” Had Victoria been anything less than a queen, one certainly would have said that she snorted. “There is need for it anyway. Things have gone from bad to worse ever since we left.” “Zounds, madam, what can you expect with only men in charge.” Elizabeth Tudor tossed' her head indignantly. ‘ r Whv, if I had not had the handling of things, there would have been no England left for yon to reign in! All through history men have ’’made the trouble and women have had to straighten it out.” ' “We don’t think is quite correct. Women have been* responsible for a great deal of the world’s political troubles. Woman's place 1s in the home.’’ Victoria glanced over her spectacles at Cleopatra. “Take—-er—Helen of Troy, for instance.” “If you mean me. why don't you say so!” retorted Egypt's queen lazily. “Yea, (Jadzooks, madam, call a ispade a spade.” “(Jr a queen a quean!” chuckled Cleopatra. Victoria looked down her nose. “Dear Albert says—” • X , “In what way do you think the world is improving, Cleo?” asked Elizabeth hurriedly. Pursing her lips, Victoria carefully and ostentatiously counted the stitches on her knitting. “The latest arrivals from New Zealand have been describing the new bathing costumes —” “A bath once a week, and a bathe once a year is all a really good woman needs,” interrupted Victoria. “Dear Albert—” “A bath once a week! Zounds, madam, why, were that the case, you would have to put baths in all the houses of the poor! That is, if a bath is considered a necessary adjunct of virtue!” “Cleanliness is next, to Godlirtess. But, what wc meant, was that too many baths seemed to lead to a loosening of the bonds of decorum. As to mixed bathing! . Why, it was never done in our time!” “What a lot of fun you must have missed!” Proud Egypt yawned openly. “Fun! Thank heaven, we put the well-being of our country before, thp thought of idle amusement.” “And that is where you *made a/'big mistake, my dear. Merry hearts ' are contented hearts.-and when the people are entertained, they have no time to brood over wrongs, real or imaginary. It was the simple pleasures of the people that enabled me to do so much, and gave England the title of ‘Merrie England!*” Elizabeth sighed. “Zounds, madam sometimes I wish I were back to put things right again!” Matters of Import. “But you must remember that you were very fortunate in your ministers. Dear Albert says—” “Fortunate in my ministers! Gad?ooks, chuck, who chose ’em? Men are born, but it is woman who moulds them!” “Woman, of course, dear Bess, having nothing to do with their actual birth!” murmured Cleopatra demurely. “That is scarcely a fit matter for public, conversation,” Victoria replied severely. “In any way, our dear sister uever having been a wife and mother it is hardly a suitable subject for her to discuss.” Elizabeth glared. “I’d have von know, madam, that there is ho subject tinder the sun that I think unsuitable for me to discuss! And as to marriage and children! Thank heaven, I had more important matters for consideration ! ” “And your : dear father,” Cleopatra smiled. “Having -'done- all that was necessary in that direction for so*ne venerations!” t , “Ah, well ” Victoria said complacently. 'We must say-we always did our duty both to , our country an,d also to our family! Dear Albert says—”• “If I must boast, then I prefer, to boast of my virginity !’ r Elizabeth’s voice rose s.tormily. Cleopatra chuckled. “It is no laughing matter, madam!” glared Bess. “Possibly not—er—to you!” The gay syes of the Greek sparkled with amusement. Elizabeth flushed angrily. “Zounds., madam, were I still queen of England ( would have your head for that!” “So like your dear father!” Cleopatra replied sweetly. “Hush, ladies. Where is your dignity?” Victoria chided. “Thank the gods,” laughed > Royal Egypt. “I would not need to draw ittention to my greatness by my manners. I was born with a queenly lignity in my figure!” Bess’s temper vanished in a roar of laughter. “Trust the red-heads for the apt retort! .Zounds, Cleo, you always were a companion after niy own heart!” Victoria Unamused. “We are not amused!” said Victoria haughtily, folding up her knitting. Nay, Vic,** Elizabeth laid a kindly hand on her arm. “Do not be leaving us We both come of a loose-tongued generation and it is too late to change us. Indeed, we have a great respect for your virtues. Is it not so, Cleo?” I have always had a great respect for such characteristics,” murmured the queen. “In others,” she added, under her breath. Y ictoria sank back upon her seat. ‘lt was never a royal attribute to bear malice, and dear Albert says, ‘ to forgive is— * “ To forget,” broke in Bess hurriedly. “Now, what other news have the latest arrivals brought us of the world? Gramercy, we have strayed far from modern bathing garments. What of them ?” “Very little, apparently,” Cleopatra answered. “ Bare backs, very little fronts, and no legs.” Victoria coughed. “ Limbs, my dear,” she said reprovingly. “ And now again our neglected gods of Egypt are in the ascendant ! Ra is once more an object of worship. All day long his followers bask, in his lifegiving beams until their skins are tanned to the colour of our children of the Nile. The wisdom of this generation draws them back to the customs of our ancient civilisation. For the first time in these, centuries, methinks I might feel at home in the world!”