BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17830, 26 April 1926, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS AND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). Baldwin, the Priminister, Thinks the coal business sinister, Though Alec the great could not, He will untie the Gordian Knot. Len Isitt, M.L.C., Speaks very knowingly. Wisely, though a rhetorician. He puts no faith in the politician. 55 « :: The gentleman in Christchurch who can tell you where to find the places of real interest, is often a stranger here. If some people did not know slang they would have to make signs. Pedestrian is from two Greek words: —Pedes, meaning walk, and Trian, an abbreviation of Triandoit. Getting a divorce is a confession that your was darned bad. From the typed report of a local buildings inspector not 100 miles from Christchurch: — “ I interviewed the people residing on the tight-of-w-ay and arranged to meet them on the first wet day.” The little item about the two actresses at Longchamps who had a poodle d3*ed blue to match the colour scheme of their frocks reminds me of an incident that happened here about the 3-ear 1905 or 1906. I forget the date, but all artists and picture lovers will remember the year, for the local annual exhibition of pictures was remarkable for the fact that there was not a sunrise exhibited. The reason was this. A lady imported a vivid red dress for the Easter races, and then she decided to have the car to match. The shade was unknown to painters, but the husband was tame. He bought up all the rose madder and such colours in the tubes at the picture shops, and so the car was painted. But artists were sad. They could get no good, colour for three months till a fresh shipment was imported. This morning's cables state that Indians, rioting in Calcutta, cast brickbats at each other and at the police. People are ready for self-government only w’hen they realise that a brickbat is not an argument. r. « A discouraged looking man wandered into a local garage. “ Do you remember that car you sold me?” “ Oh yes,” said the salesman. “ Well, would you mind repeating that little thing > _ ou told about the way it never went amiss.” “ I merely said,” the salesman replied, “ that our make of car went as long as there was petrol in the tank. No car of its make, no matter what adverse condition, had ever failed to go once the foot touched the starter. I said it would go as well upside down as on its t3 r res, would plough through a sandstorm and go through water up to the bonnet. I said 3 r ou could lose every nut on the car and still it would go. You can take away half the cylinders and it will run on the other two, and the two you take off you can tie to a barrow and the barrow will go. I said that car would run on three wheels or two, would climb any hill, and the only reason it wouldn’t climb the side of a house was because of the overhang of the eaves. I said a child could start it, and even a baby could.” The car owner brightened at the words. “ Thank you very much,” he said. “ Now I want you to come and say it to the car.” The Dempsey-Tunnev fight is set For—well, I sure don’t like to bet, But, anyhow, it's possible; Some even sa.y it’s probable. You know Jack Dempsey has a nose Which from a battered beak arose, A thing the ladies all do dote on—lie surely doesn’t want it smote on. And then he has a hefty chunk Of dollars in investments sunk, And though to fight would be sublime He really couldn’t spare the time. The movies, too, he's bound to help. They certainly would raise a 3 r elp If he should get a damaged phiz, And spoil his Valentino biz. And then, of course, he has a wife, Who wouldn’t like the thought of strife, And Jack does not, as far as we know, Desire a little jatmt to Reno. So all this talk of fight's unfair— I really hope it’s all hot air. It’s certainly a rotten slight To ask a fighting champ, to fight.