SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16904, 1 December 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send in original topical paragraphs or verses for this column, which is a daily feature of “ Star. ' Accepted contributions should bo cut out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. “ A Triumphal Reception. says the Tory Press in describing Air Massey s Christchurch visit. A few more triumphs of the same sort and there will be no Air Alassey Tickets for the *vtage last night were hard to get. Owing to the great demand the Reform executive had to re fuse one to Air E. H. Andrews, the Reform candidate for Christchurch North. It is said that Air Andrews will really quarrel with the executive if it tells him any more that it does not want him. The German Food Ministry has ordered that all flour be mixed with 10 per cent of potatoes. This is instead of the crushed acorns kitherto used. A few suggestions for the celebration of Anniversary Day are offered, with due deference, to the Mayor. A street- collection, “Anniversary Day.” lest we forget. Nothing like forking out to jog the memory. A race meeting. Always popular—and profitable. A gathering of the city statues round Godley—Aloorhouse and Rolleston could come, anyway. Besides opening the old Provincial Chambers to the children a few sweetshops should be opened to them, too. This would cause them to honour Anniversary Day. But tiio best plan would oe to celebrate it—you know what I mean —just “ celebrate ” it. The enforcement of the \ olstead Act is becoming increasingly difficult, says an American cable. Yes, it is broken in all sorts of ways, like this, for example : “ Say. honey bunch, '■* said young Air New wed of Fifth Avenoo. New Vawk City, to his little wife. “ what’s the matter with me these days? Aly grapefruit has lost its savour.” “ For me. too.” chimed his honeybunch, ” l ? m off the cereal and cracker. It tasted like nothing on earth, these days.” “ It must be that new milk you’re getting, sweetest,” said hubby, grabbing his straw katy. ‘ Anyway, I like it fine.” “ Ale, too.” said sweetest. “ It improves the coffee,” said he. “ And the cereal.” said she. “The puddings taste good with it.” said he. “ And the candy it makes!” said she. “ Absolutely great stuff !” said be. “ I believe you.” said she. But how were those two unfortunate young things to know that, ever since she had smashed the milk-bottle, the milkman had stopped calling?” And how was the bootlegger going his round to know that that leery black bottle he found on the Newwed porch every morning was not for him to fill ? They would not find out till it was too late—till a happy home was ruined, or the bootlegger sent in his bill. “ Oh. the pity of it. I ago. Oh, la go, the pity of it 1”

“ Bouillon has a cold,” says a headline. I never did like cold bouillon. The controversy about “ "Who Won the War? ” has re-opened at Home. But this is utter foolishness. Don’t we all know that the answer is *' America? ” II The present Minister of Lands is one of the most sympathetic men 'in the House,” said Air Alassey last evening. The Digger and the Alinister Met in discussion free ; The Digger said. “The times afe bad, No profits can I see.” The Alinister replied. “ Alas, Such news is grief to me.” The Digger told his bitter tale, ■ Aly rent is far too high : Aly products sell below their cost. And bankruptcy is nigh And Air Guthrie listened with \ sympathetic sigh If quite a hundred farming Digs Went bankrupt in a year. Would you suppose, in such a case. Millenium was near?” “ I doubt it,” said the Alinister, And shed a bitter tear. The Digger and the Minister A mournful song did sing ; They wailed the Digger’s hopeless case, They wept like anything. “ If this is now the case.” cried they, ■’ ■ What will the next year bring? ” The Digger bade his post good-bye. And promptly out did get; The sympathetic Alinister His eyes with tears had wet : And that poor Digger still declares That Guthrie’s weeping yet. Upon my meagre weekly screw So many claims there seem to be I have to study like a Jew Or there would be naught left for me By cutting down on every hand I save sixpence a day for beer : Then comes some street collecting band And rooks me of my “ spot ” so dear. With, sobs that nearly rend my breast I drop my tanner in the box : To see my daily drink go westI-: one of fate’s most bitter knocks. Yet what can any fellow do When tackled by some charming maid. To help 'the monkeys in the zoo, Or give the pauper kit-tens aid?

But now T note w«th joyful heart The council means to stop this curse; These masters of the beggar’s art Must cease their raids upon my purse If they can do this doughty deed What blessings then J will invoke On those who in .ny hour of need Shall free me from this heavy yoke. A resident of Avonside claims to have produced a double flowering Brampton, stock over four feet high and bearing a record number of blooms. When interviewed about this the president o ? the local Stock Exchange stated that ho knew nothing about this particula ; stock. He had, however, several other stocks which he could recommend, sev oral of which had very flowery prospectuses (or should it be prospecti?) A-* he could not accept Sin bad’s 1.0.17. or promissory note no business resulted . An Auckland gentleman who was accused of shooting partridges states that the only firearm he possesses is a 6ma-ll cannon used for starting races, and he was just firing this to show n friend. The partridges, we understand have accepted his apology, but state that he must not fire bis cannon again as it makes them quail. Extract from a novel: “For quarter of an hour the girl gazed fixedly at- the flame of the extinguished candle ” A definite example of second •>l l t . SIN BA I).