SMILE SEED.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 10923, 12 November 1913, Page 4

SMILE SEED.

The lesson concerned coins of the realm, and they had been through the entire range, from iartuiugs to, sovereigns. One little fellow, however, was singularly inattentive. His gaze, was fixed \ upon a playful sparrow on the window-sill, and he hod no thought for coins. Suddenly the teacher pounced upon him. Placing a half-crown on the pupil's desk, she demanded:'" What's that?" " 'EadsJ" came the instantaneous reply.

The little boy had been standing up since he entered the train at Newmarket, and it was certainly very kind of Mrs Jones to take him on her knee. " Were you very frightened, dear, as we wqnt through the tunnel?'' she ask. ed.

"Not much, ma'am." " Well, I thought you trembled a little, that's why I kissed you. What ia your name;, little boy?" "Tommy, ma'am." " Are you a very affectionate little chapP How old are you?" "Twenty-seven, ma'am." And Tommy Flax, tho light-weight jockey, slid to the floor to the horrined accompaniment of a horrified 6cream.

The evening was damp, cold and foggy, and the Rev Sandy Macgregor, while walking, absent-mindedly along the street, fell heavily into a deep hole which had just been made by order of the local sanitary authorities. For a long time the Rev Sandy tried to escape. Then, despairingly, he began to cry for help. A passing labourer heard his cries, and looking down the hole, asked who was there. The minister informed him, but in return received only meagre comfort. '* Weel, weel," said the labourer. "ye needna kick up sic a noise. You'll no' be needed afore the_ Sawbath, and this is. only Wednesday night 1" ■

A boy awoke one morning very ill. His groans alarmed the household. The doctor was sent for and came posthaste. " Well," said the doctor, as he entered the patient's room, " what is the troubleP*V ' ~' , " A pain in my side," said the boy. " Any pain in the "head?" "Yes sir." " Is the right hand stiff ?" " A little.", ■ , j OJJ "How about the right foot?" "That's stiff, too.'.' The doctor winked at the boy s mother. "Well," he ~said, "you're pretty ill. But you'll be able to gato ( school on Monday. Let me see, to-day is Saturday, and—-" ~, . "Is to-day SaturdayP" said the boy in a vexed tone. " I thought it was Friday." Half' an hour later that boy declared himself healed, and got up. Then they packed him off to school, for it war Friday after %U. *»* One Sunday afternoon the infants' class had come to an end, and tne teacher closed her bok more than satisfied with the attention whioh had been shown throughout the course of the lesson. Before departing, however, she deoided to .try to reap some of the fruits of her labours, so, turning to the class, she said: , " Now, would any of you like to asK me any questions?. I have a few minutes' to *pare, so if there is anything you want to know don't hesitate to ask?" Little Freddy rose to his feet with an eagerness which delighted his instructress. " Please, teacher," he inquired without even the semblance of a blush, "have you got any cigarett< cards on you?" At a baptismal ceremony a» American negro preacher was immersing the candidate through a hole cut in the ice that covered a swift-flowing river. When one of the female converts was dipped back in the water the cold made her squirm about, and in a moment she had slipped from the preacher's hands and was down the stream under the IC The preacher, however, was not disr concerted. Looking up w,th perfect calmness at the crowd on the bank he said: " Brethren, this sister hath departed—hand me down another.