Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 178, 7 December 1868, Page 3

Varieties.

X The Lover's Revenge. — Marriage. X Something always on hand.- — Your thumb. Jc Heavy charge of the Light Brigade.— Gas bills. • ; y An exchange says; rents are insupportable. But then the landlords find no difficulty in keeping them uJ3 A marriage license issued in Washington was returned with the endorsement, " She s would'nt have me." Poor fellow ! iJ6J' Thou rainest in, this bosom,'' as the man fjfel when a basin of water was thrown over him by the lady he was serenading. Observations bt Josh Billings — If a man wants tew get at his aktual dimensions, let him visit a graveyard. If any man wantß tew be an old bachelor, and get sick on a boarding tavern, and have a back room in the 4th story, and a red-haired chamber-maid bring his water gruel to him in a tin washbasin, I have always sed, and I stick to it jet, 'he has got a perfuk right to do it. When a man loses his health, then he fust begins to take care of it. This is good judgment. This is J It is getting so no-a-daze, if a man can't cheat in some, way, he isn't happy. Success in life iz apt to make us forget the time we wasn't much. It is so with the frog on the jump ; he can't remember that he was a tadpole— but other folks can. An individual, tew be a fine gentleman, has either got to be born so or be brought up in it from infancy ; he kant learn it suddenly any more than he kan learn to talk injun korrectly by practicing on a tommy hawk. .^ mZaZi^Z