Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 43, 3 July 1868, Page 3

Varieties.

K — * — Othello was lately performod nt Hayti by a company of noßro actors, and tho part of Othello was taken hy a black man, who painted bis faco white. , X " What brought you to prison, my coloured friend ? " " Two constables, sab." •« Yes j but I moan, had Intemperance anything to do with it? '.' " Yes, salt j dey was bofo of 'em drunk." A llttlo girl who was lately admitted into a " Girls' Homo," In ansAvcr to tho question, "Now Polly, what do you call a Idea- lug," nnsworod Instantly, and with great unconscious pathoi, " treacle." "VA witness spoke of a particular person as having scon him "partially clad," ,•'' Was he not qutyo nude ? " asked tho examining counsel.' "No/Sir," roplled tho witness, " he alwnys woro a pair of spoctaclcs." '"v. Sir Philip Franehraho author oL Junius, according to Lord Maeaulay) says V" The most dangerous of 'men is an active fool. Thcro is not stuiY enough In a fool to make an honest man, It Is possible to cure ft fool of folly, but you cannot euro him of being a ifool" • j I An extremely verdant agricultural labourer, having scraped together' ton pounds, took it to his employer, witli a request that bo would tako ohargoof it for him. A year after tho labouror wont to anothor friend to know what would bo the Interest on It. Ho was told ten shillings. « Well "he said, « I wish you would loud mo ton shillings for n day or two. My master hns been keeping ten pounds for mo a yoar, and I want to pay him tho interest for it." * i A mnglntrato in Ireland not long ago lined a man £20 for having nn illicit still > at work for manufacturing whlskoy, To tho surprise of tho Court, Pat paid tho flno next petty session day. Somo timo afterwards • tho worthy Magistrato mot Pat on tho rond, and stopped him, Baying, " Now tell mo Pat, how did you manago to pay tho flno so quickly ? ■' " Oh, your Honor, If you won't Inform, I'll tell you," " Indeed. Pat, you may trust mo j; out with it." " Well, your Honor, as your Honor will know, I'll tell you. Why, sure, after I loft you in court tho day I was fined I startod another i and that's tho wholo truth, your Honor." Two Dutchmon, who had built and nsed for years in common a small bridge over a stream which ran through their farms, had a dlsputo concerning soma repairs which it required, and ono of them positively rofuscd to hear any portion of tlio expense necessary to tbo purchase of a few planks. Finely the aggrieved party went to a neighbouring lawyer, and, placing two flve-dollar notos In his hand, said " 111 givo you all dish monlsh if you'll mako Han's do justico mit de prldgo." " How muoh will It coat to repair Ifc ? " asked tbo honest lawyer. « Not moro ash ilvo tollar," said tlio Dutchman. " Very well," said tho lawyer, nockctlng ono of tho notes nnd giving him tbo other, " tako this and go and got tho bridge repaired ; it's the best courso you can tako." " Yaas," said the Dutchman slowly, "yuan, dat Ish much better ns to quarrel mid Hans $" but as he went along homo bo shook his head frequently, as lf unablo, after all, to sco quito clearly bow ho bad gained anything by going to law. I. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm— mmmmm**— mmmmmtmmmmmmmm