Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 38, 27 June 1868, Page 3

Varieties.

♦ An Awful Screw. — A tkumb-acrew. j( A Standing Dwk at Utah. — A spare rib, * * 1)odoi.a« Jkbrom), ftt an evening patty, wm looking at tlio dancera. Seeing a rery tull gentleman waltzing with an extremely short lady, ho observed to a friend, " Humph Micro's tlio milo dancing with the milestone." The- Cockney notion of where beef.ateaki come from U generally »v vagua as Topsy'a notion of her own cxistenoo ; ho " 'spects they glowed." It does not enter his mind that there is any connection between beef nnd bullocks, nnd consequently he ennnot «c« clearly how the otittlo plague affects him. " Home lamb 1" said a diner tho other day at tlio table d'hote of th« Charing Cross Hotel j <( what is that ?" "It means hot-house lamb," aaid hU neighliour, " Ab, I see," exclnimcd tlw enllghteuea Coeknay } " grown under a glass ease, Hko cucumbers, and that sort of thing." A Ynnkco Ronticmnn, escorting a British friend to vievr tlio different objevts of attraction in the riclnity of Boston, brought him to Bunket'4 111U, They atooJ looking at the aplondld monument, when tho Yankee siid, "This is tho pinco wliero Warren fell." "Ah 1 " Teplicd tho KngHshmnn, CTidently not posted up in loattl Idatorlcnl wntlew, "did it hurt him much?" Tho native looked at him. "Hurt him 1° said he, "he urns killed, Sir." «Ahl ho was, eh ?* { said tho stranger, still eyeing the monument, and computing its height in hia own mind, layer by luycr } " Well, I should think he would liuvc bwn, to fall so far."