VARIETIES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 34, 23 June 1868, Page 3

VARIETIES.

\U ft bftkorM Wflgcs nro 30a v week, what's tho pay of ft good loafer, who has been bred to tlio profession ? Tho ropentonco ttiut is delayed until old ago is but too often n regret for the inability to commit moro slut, yWhat is tho cliirerenco between ft barber and ft mother ?— One has razors to shave, and tho other hni shavers to raise. Good-brccdlng ia a guard upon the tongu c tho misfortune- is, that wo put it on und oft with our flno clothes and visiting faces, and do not wear it where it Is most wanted— at home. X (t What is tho chief uio of bread ?" naked an examiner at a school exhibition. "Tho chiof mo of broad," unswerod tho urchin, apparently astonished at tho simplicity of tho inquiry, » la to unread butter and trenelo on." A sfmplo rustic boy, trudging along with a loaf of bread under citch ium, met the equirc of tho purioli, who, offended ftt tho want of obofoance, sternly ««M, " Hoy I I think you might move your hat." "So I wool," replied tho boy, "If you'll hold ono of my loaves. " Who is ho V" said n passer-by to a policeman, who was endeavouring to nils© an Intoxicated individual who had fallen into n gutter, " CiMi't wy, sir," replied tho police* man > " ho can't givo any account of him* self." "Of courso not," replied tho other j " how can you oxpect an account from a man who lias lost his balance ?"