They Say

Observer, Volume XVIII, Issue 1017, 25 June 1898, Page 3

They Say

— That Isitt asked Inspector Hickson if it was a detective force or a defective force ? Funny dog. — That it was rather rough of the parson laat Sunday night to give away in his sermon the roysterers in the Epsom 'drag.' —That Frank Lawry says he wonld be glad if Mr Isitt would become a contributor to the Licensed Victuallers' Gazette. —That James Dunning is the only member of the Devonport Borough Council opposed to the erection of a gymnasium and drill shed in that borough.. — That W. J. Napier suggests that the No, 121 Harbour Board yacht should be armed, so that the members could take periodical trips for big gun drill.

Pczzled Citizen.—Say, my good man, why are yon hacking that wood about in such a terrible way ? And why are you so excited ? You will hurt somebody with that axe. The Axeman.—Lemme alone, will yer. I'm not hacking the wood. I'm an engraver, and I'm making the war pictures for to-night's Star. See!

— That ' Urnslopogaas,' with the accent on the " slope,' is a very apt trade designation for a bookmaker who skips in a hurry when settling-np day approaches, ■^sk Sydney Back. — That Professor Tubbs has been vindicated at last. Inspector Goldie took a case into Court of throwing rubbish into the street. All the parties, who figured in the case had Hibernian cognomens.' . ~ — That Mr Napier's motion at the Harbour Board re Freeman'B Bay recreation reserve would have been carried if Messrs Stichbury., Hesketh, and Thornes, all supporters of the proposal, had been present. The matter is to be revived at a fall meeting of the Board. — That judging from the list of honorary officers of a certain football clab, Beer and the Church have at last found a common platform on which they can both labour. Even in the football ground it appears to be a case of ' Beer and the Bible. 1

—That clever little. Celia Dampier cleared £12 by a .benefit concert, ia Wanganai the other night. -; — That electric tramways will be actnally tunning in Auckland in very little more than two years. ■ . — That there are white lies and black lies in the police force. The inspector decides the colour. —That it is not safe to call a Chinaman Paddy, but it is even more unsafe to call a detecjtive • Paddy the pig.' — That Wellington is to have a Town Hall: What d'ye think of that, Mr Hobbs ? And still our site is lying idle. — That a young man is at present engaged in the pleasurable occupation of ' painting the town red.' Jolly dawg J —That Mr Northcroft's evidence before the Commission was a facer for the police party. And he knew what he was talking about, too. —That the 'Cardinal' has been re-chriatened, ' Tommy's ball-dog." He certainly does follow well at heel when that Minister visits Auckland. —That it is as difficult to secure reforms in some of our public bodies as it, iB to pass the proverbial camel through the eye of the proverbial needle. - That there are thirty-nine industrial disputes in full blast in New Zealand just now. When the Conciliation and Arbitration Act was passed there was not one. —That the best free ad. as to the strength of the Auckland beer was given the other day when in one afternoon three fellows fell into the harbour ' under the influence.' — That it was very unkind of Adolph Kohn not to undertake the guardianship of that helpleas Spanish maiden, more especially as he is a bachelor of settling-down age. — That all the political quid nuncs and dead-beats, including the hard-faced female carpet-baggers, are getting ready for active service at ten shillings a day in view of an approaching dissolution. —That judging from the charges bronght against the Richmond Eoad and Cox's Creek larrikins, they are the real Westvillains, and it should be up to the Mayor of Westville to knock them into a cocked hat. —That the daily papers state that the Excelsior Literary Society's weekly meeting was ' dispersed with prayer.' What does it all mean ? - Did the benediction act like an automatic fire-sprinkler, or was it a case of Excehior ? — That it is pretty safe to conclude that Commissioner Tunbridge has gauged the weakness of the police force pretty well during his fortnight here. It was onlynecessary to put Hickson in the box to get a few wrinkles concerning the reform required here. — That the new evangelistic ' broom ' at the Sailors' Home swept much too clean. He left by the last mail steamer for Uncle Sam's territories. Was he really 'a scrubber?' or did he require a larger sphere of usefulness for his talents ? It is a big contract to be-little the manager of the Sailors' Home. — That anyone could tell at a glance that T. T. Masefield was an old councillor when he took his seat after being sworn last Thursday night. He flopped into the seat, picked up his pen, chewed the end of it, turned over the paper?, whispered to his neighbour and looked wise. That's what constitutes a councillor, but it takes a little practice.