Mr Greenwood's Dry Humour.
Eg 2 * If Mr Joseph Greenwood, the Liberal candidate for Eden, is not the Tree of Knowledge in breeches, he is at anyrate not quite so ' green ' as some of his opponents would have people to believe. At the meeting at Mount Eden, last week, Joseph's brethren thought they would drop him into the well ; but the guileless one came up smiling every time and scored heavily off his antagonists, in their own head quarters. Many of Mr Greenwood's replies to the worrying questions with which he was plied by Mitchelsonian advocates were marked by a vein of ready wit, and all proved him to be happy in retort and au fait on political questions. Certainly, if the Frenchman is correct in his view that ' the true aim of politics is to make life easy and people happy,' Air Greenwood may fairly lay claim to having mastered at least one branch of the art— that of making people happy. To substantiate this, I propose giving a few of the questions and answers given at Waite's Hall on Wednesday last.
Mr Shepherd handed up a written question — ' How would you propose to increase the population of New Zealand?' (Laughter). IVir Greenwood — If there's anybody in the colony able to show you, I'm the man— l have ten children. (Roars of laughter). Mr Ewington — Would you vote for woman's suffrage ? Mr Greenwood — I think the women are really better than the men in this country, and I would give them the franchise by all means. (Applause.) Now, Mr Ewington, I know you are a great admirer of the ladies — (Roars of laughter) — so I will read you something about them. Mr Greenwood proceeded to read a poem satirising the superior sex, and in response to loud cries of ' Author,' he modestly said—' Not myself.' Replying to Mr Burkes question as to whether he . would support a tax of sixpence per acre on all land in the neighbourhood of large cities, Mr Greenwood gave an interesting reminipcence of the very first; land tax ever proposed'in Auckland district. It was in the old provincial days, and the Provincial Council had passed a law that all land should ha taxed a shilling per acre annually. Calling at the Wa<;e, Mr Greenwood was told of the land tax by the late Maurice Kelly. He pointed out that Maurice would have to pay >£150 a year, and asked if he did not protest against the tax, from his place in the Council. ' Begnrra. I did,' said Maurice, ' but it was no good ' ' What did you do P'.asked Mr Greenwood. ' Why,' said Maurice, " I got up and said—" Blast yez all for a lot of • ! I'll see yez all before I pay such a tbx ! " And, be jabers ! before I knew where I ws«, the Surgint-at-Areiß had me sprawlin' on the grass outside. So that was an end of my protist!' The audience were convulsed with laughter at Mr Greenwood's recital of this incident.
At the close of the questioning, Mr Ewington proceeded, in a tervii! speech, to state his reasons for not supporting the vote of confidence in Mr Greenwood. In doing soMrEwington unintentionally pave the candidate the highest praise, for he said that whereas some of their representatives had in the past proved to be barefaced liars, Mr Greenwood was emphatically an honest man. He question d Mr Greenwood's ability, but in a little passage at arms on the female suffrage question, the candidate proved that he had a better memory than Mr Ewington. So the merry meeting ended— a vote of thanks and confidence being accorded to Mr Greenwood, and the electors are now awaiting Mr Mitchelson's appearance, so that they may compare the policy and general ability of the two candidates. The 0.M., like all sensible men, suspends judgment in the meantime.
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Mr Greenwood's Dry Humour., Observer, Volume X, Issue 618, 1 November 1890
Mr Greenwood's Dry Humour. Observer, Volume X, Issue 618, 1 November 1890
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