POLITICAL POT POURRI.

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 65, 10 December 1881, Page 202

POLITICAL POT POURRI.

— -It is not true that three cheers were given fur Parnell at Mr Tole's meeting at Newton. More Reesisms — '• To give Hurst a portfolio would have bee.ll painting it a little too much." — The " personal column " — Mr .1. M. Clark's brigade at City East. — Who wrote those questions, Saundy MockDuguld ? Did they come from tint Union Slash and Jaw Company 't — Motto for the ex-Chairman of the Mongonui County Council — " Tis a Lo,/// Lane which has no turning." — Idea for a cartoon — Gulliver (t lie Xew Zealand Parliament) pegged down by the Liliputians (questions of a minor local character). — " Hurst lost the portfolio jus! as he painted his pig. If he had not painted his pig he would have won the prize" — (Mr Bees). Mr Eees : " I wonder what Hurst would have done if he had been at Parihaka." A voice : "He would have painted the Maori pigs. — MeC'ullough retired with honour from the Thames contest after his able advocacy of technical education. Bravo, Mac ! — The Luminary goes a "mucker on Hohbs in the election. It is bristling all over with damaging statements against Lundon. — One characteristic feature of an election contest is the immense scope it appears to afford for lying and misrepresentation. — Who is the ass " Rabelni-s" (or Babble-ass) who wrote that rubbish in the Ifcrctld headed "Our Absalom." Eeally the authorities ought look after the man. — " Perhaps they will dignif \ Mr Hurst with a seat in the Cpper House," remarked Mr Eees ; whereupon a man in the pit remarked, " With a pig for his coat of arms." — Some people of ion use expressions at political meetings which they would not dare to use amongst ladies. And yet they blame those newspapers ! — " There were only two gentlemen on that side of the House," said Mr Hurst ; " .Sir George Grey and myself, and, as I could not always follow him, I came over to myself. 1 ' — "I don't say the ladies of Eden kissed butchers, like the Duchess of Devonshire, but they went about canvassing and driving butchers to the poll in their carriages." (Mr Roes.) — "Where's youv goose?" asked a facetious person of Mr Seabrook at the Newton meeting. ' " I think," calmly replied Mr Seabrook, " that the goose is the j>erson who last spoke." — Mr Staines created a great sensation at Tole's Newton meeting by stalking along the iloor in a pair of creaking boots while the candidate -was speaking. — Mr Tole : What does Sir George Grey wait? Major Burns: Self-aggrandisement. Mr Tole : What aggrandisement r He has got all lie wants to live upon. He has occupied the highest offices in the .State. —Mr Reader Wood lias the support of the Good Templars. This is because he said in the House, "The best part of the session is being frittered away with this wretched teetotal question. lam weary of it." —Mr Sheehan: "The Patetece Company will bo able to bring immense opposition against our Government." Sir George : " If we cannot stand W m, *« t - S m J" st «- 1 ' to the people, then we will hill." ' ■ — Garrard says he doesn't mind in the least the hard things saul about him hi the papers, but he decidedly objects to such hard Maori minus as deus et machina being fhmg at one of his supporters. —Sir George Grey attempted to prevent the renewal of the pastoral leases in Canterbury, was " hauled over the coals" by Governor Nornmnbv and accused of trying the Heathen Chinee trick of hiding the Bill up his sleeve, when, in the ordinary course, he presented the measures of the session for his Excellency's signature.

— When a man openly proclaims that he was a more machine for the execution of certain unpopular measures, is there nnv guarantee that he will not become a machine for the same object if he gets into Parliament ? — McGec got a vote of confidence at a crowded meeting at Onehunga, and has been equally successful at other places. He says he gets on well with all sections of the electors but the " Kingbarkers." — The Clarkitos did a smart piece of strategy when they put up Mr Page to propose Sir G-eorge Grey, but Mr McCaul "let the cat out of the bag" when he said that Mr Clark would say some hard things about Sir G-eorge Grey. Evidently the object was to get the latter to speak first, so that he should have no opportunity to reply. — When Mr Boos compared Mr Reader Wood to a disappointed man, who had "sold" his party, and now went about with a look of mingled defiance and despair on his face, someone called out "lie Mould be a good subject for the Obseuveje." "Ho would be a good subject for a great many observers," remarked Mr Rees. —"There was a celebrated character of antiquity called Cain," said Mr Eces, "and I declare I never walk down Queen-street and see Mr Reader Wood without having that character recalled to my memory, and seeing (he very brand upon his forehead which drove Cain out from the fellowship of men." This is a good specimen of the bigh-falutin style. — As a rule Scotchmen are not proverbial for their refinement of manner or speech. The scene at the nomination oL' candidates for City East was no exception, and was something like a "midden cock" attempting to soar with an eagle, but after a Pew flutter.-, falling iugloriously into the midden dub. Blood and breeding will tell. — On the occasion of a recent election of chairman for a County Council up North a certain gentleman was awfully disappointed at his nonsuccess, and angry at his opponent's good fortune. After the affair was over lie said to a friend : " Sold again, by G !"' " Not at all," responded his friend; "by ddarn,"'t — n,"' and he was right too. — Mr J. P>. Whyto made an excellent reply to an awkward query put by an enemy at h\- Cambridge meeting. lie was asked, "Are wm in favour of reducing the pay of the Constabulary ?" and responded, " 1 am of. opinion that t In* Defence Department, and indeed all other departments of the Government, should be conducted as economically as is consistent with efficiency."' They don't get much change out of that. — -So the Herald thinks McGee is unfit to aspire to Parliamentary honours for two reasons : (1) He is a sportsman ; (2) he is untried in politics. Palnierston was a keen .-portsman, and was a statesman for about sixty years. He never could have been a statesman unless he was tried. If we were disposed to be captious, we might add that some politicians who arc not sportsmen have been tried and found wanting. ■ — -The Licensed Victuallers of Auckland at their meeting Were unable to agree upon combined action. One genius suggested that each district should operate independently, and it is significant that at tills important juncture Mr J. M. Clark knocked at the door and apologised for his intrusion. The proposer of the policy of disintegration and the candidate left the meeting — it was generally supposed to '" liquor up." — "PufHngs take a variety of forms." We saw this in something about ladies' hoop skirts and things. It nu;st have got mixed up somehow. It wuj< originally written about the elections. " Puffings take a variety of forms." You bet ! As many forms as the chameleon. Every man becomes a "puffer" for the occasion, and the greatest puffer of all is the people's Billy. Wasn't lie selected to do the v blowing" at the opening of the Gasworks '? — All the papers have given an incorrect version of the little scene between Sir George Grey and Mr Clark after the City East nomination. Mr Clark approached Sir George, and, extending his hnnd, said, "How d'ye do?" .Sir George Grey drew himself up and replied, "How can you offer to shake hands with a man whom you charge with approving of murder ? You ought to be excluded from society, sir.' 1 Mr Clarkreddened slightly, and Sir George Grey passed on. — A "free and independent" elector went to hear the address of the local candidate for City North last week, and came away muttering, in tiro words of an old poet — Though brightest lines the Peacock's pinnies mlorn, Yet horror screams from his discordant throat ; Rise, sons of harmony ! and hail the morn, While homely (C) larks on russet piniorfs flout. The disgusted elector was afterwards seen wending his way to the committee rooms in HighBtrcet. — Anyone who desires to understand the questions at issue in the present election will find no difficulty in arriving at a definite conclusion by carefully noting the characters, social status, and interests of thi.' candidates and their respective followers, canvassers, claqueurs, and henchmen. On one side he will see arrayed all the representatives and dependants of a certain great monetary institution, its clients and commercial interests ; on the other the great majority of the independent business men, shopkeepers, mechanics, working men, and a great portion of the intelligent thinking men of the community. Comment is superfluous. — The Invented Lies. -Lie number one: That Grey and Groyitos got us into a financial mess, noarlv ruining the colony, whereas it was, of course, the Whitakerites (Yogel, &c, &v..). Twenty -seven millions of debt! Oh, frightful ! And actually we sent a deputation of several responsible men, under great anxiety, to Ihe Kawau islet to entreat the great Sir George Grey to come out of his honourable, seclusion, .to break his well-earned rest, in order to rescue us from financial and political destruction. Then (lie rank corrupt ionists commenced the process of slaying Sir George Grey with the virus of their vile tongues. This is patent, plain fact . Wilson senior (late of the Herald) was one of flic appointed deputation. N.B. — This is only number one. — W. E. S., Parnell. The issue of the contest in City North may be rather uncertain as between Messrs Rees and Peacock, but there can be no doubt of the

position which Ghirrnrd will- occupy on the poll. We venture to say that if the law of the survival of the fittest operates at all at the election, the j irrepressible one will find himself still unemployed. The position may be thus summed up :— Our friend, Sawyer Thwaites, tlie moment lie stir That his chances were nowhere resolved to withdraw ; But Garrard's a man of a different stamp, His cheek mid his nrdoxtr no danger can damp. He's a bulldog, perhaps ; he can bark and can bite, And holds doggedly on to the end of the fight ; But a dog that's well bred would go off, without doubt, When he saw preparations for kicking him out ! — A7l Eden elector writes to say that he was prevented from putting the following question atthe meeting last Tuesday night : — Header Wood, Reader Wood, Will you just be so good (Since you have determined to " stand ") As your views to disclose On the conduct of thoso Who grab at large sections of land ? For, oh, Reader Wood ! It is well understood That you want n good slice of the land To widen the street For those " beautiful feet," And make space to allow you to " stand." There is little need for asking the question now ; but, following out the vein of the above rhyme, the electors of Eden might fitly address the candidate in the above terms — ■ Render Wood, Reader Wood, Your intentions are good, But 'tis right you should suffer de-feet ; You may have as much land As permits you to tfand, But we can't give enough for a xeot '. ft is well known that an easily-graded road in a certain direction is " paved with good intentions," and Mi* Wood need not wonder if his unfulfilled pledges should land him at the foot of that road.