BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 57, 15 October 1881, Page 76

BRIEF MENTION

— A Dunedin bootmaker was recently left a property worth £40,000. — The officers of the new ferry company obtain their stylish uniforms tit half price. — Joshua squared the Herald, but lie couldn't quite manage the Stay. — Does Mr Vickers always go for a policeman when a lady friend conies to see him at the office ? — So the search for the Lost Ten Tribes was postponed on account of the weather? Was it the weather that was too iosgy or the subject ? — Now lecture by Dr. Wallis— " Political Compensation and honorariums." Second series : — " The hire harmonics and local (absjo(r)ption." — The cornetist of the Philarmonic Society is too enthusiastic. Ifc is not necessary in an ncconrpaniinent to play with such vigour as he manifested. — Host Cairns lias had the Star repainted and papered, and fitted the principal rooms with electric bells. — It is said that since the proprietor of a certain eating house in town has superseded the small boy, his very look has turned the milk sour. — " Respectability " was in rather a- bad way, but is holding up her head again since Major Burns appeared as her champion. — Paddy Murphy remarks " When I'm getting ray-vaccinated, I'll th'ry and set me lymph out o' one of the calves of the faymale portion of Mister Carey's throop." — The Criminal Sessions of the Supremo Court were the means of bringing 1 Constable Jonas Abrains back to town for a brief period. He has not been here since his Newton escapade. — When a lady goes to a ball and a "horrid newspaper man " puts her name in the Observer she gets very indignant ; but when her name is not put in, you should see how mad she gets then ! — Some one who has evidently been reading "Patience" writes to say that he considers Mr Nelson (a la Gilbert)— " A not over-logical, most thoelogical, Bottomless-pit young man !" — " The Kelly Gang " is the name of a small lot of bucolic persons attired in gaiters and slouch hats, who may be seen at any of the street corners at all hours of the day. — Miss Leaf has recently been taking the part of Ruth in Carey's " Pirates of Penzance " Company at "Wellington. A local print says her singing and acting leaves little, if anything, to be desired. — Dr Wallis sways his arms as gracefully as a windmill, while he shows that his elocutional education has been on a "broad" basis; but he comforts himself with all the assurance of a clerical orator. — One of the partners of the recently formed Queen-street Commission Agency firm has' departed/ leaving sundry creditors lamenting. He did not forget to take his wife along with him. — The Sfar was rather rough on Alderman about his " Soliloquies of Hamlet." Mr Alderman had not the slightest intention of going in for an exhibition of the " high falutin" and gesticulation usually called oratory. — An inveterate smoker says Master Neal's lecture on the injurious effects of tobacco was as bad as a dose of Epsom salts, and a sad descent for a society which aims at " Mutual Improvement." — Letters in reply to an advertisement for furnished rooms are to be addressed to " Young Mnrried Coiiple," Star office. There will be a scramble for the letters by the half-dozen young husbands in the establishment. They should have stated which of the happy men is referred to. — Mr Macdonald, R.M., is inclined to " look over " the offence of fighting in the streets, so we expect soon to see the P.R. established in our midst, with occasional exhibitions before large crowds of spectators, at the principal street comers ! — There is something rotten in the state of Denmark when about half the prisoners committed for trial at the Supreme Court escape through faulty indictments, etc. Men who have no other qualification save being sons of their fathers are hardly ever successful in positions calling for ability and acumen. Ornamental sinecures with just sufficient screws to keep j them from starvation should be their lot. — Frenchmen must be inveterate chatterers. "We dropped in at one of the recent meetings of the Ijiterary Clnb during the delivery of an interesting lecture, but the lively conversation carried on by a few sons of Gaul in the rear, effectively drowned the voice of the lecturer. AYe were informed that the circumstance was not, by any means, unusunl. The members would do well to consider the German adage, which being interpreted implieth that " Speech is Silvern, and Silence Golden." — A hitch has occurred in the sale of Waiwera. Messrs. Thompson and Ester entered into negotiations with Mr R. Graham, and a small deposit was made by an agent, pending ratification by the principals, but the 12th having been fixed for completion of the arrangements, and no further communication having been received, it would appear that the negotiations have fallen through. — The Morrinsvillc-Rotorua Railway Company promises to be successfully floated. At a recent meeting a prospectus was approved of, and a permanent Directory appointed, the only changes from the Pro■visional Directory being the retirement of Messrs. Fenton and Dignan. The capital was fixed at £200,000, the first call to be £100,000 in 10s. shares, which is estimated to cover the expenditure over 35 miles of line or to Okoiro. —The following loving epistle was found in Beresford-street Congregational Church last Sunday : — "My dearest Emily, — Do, dear, come back soon. I am dying to see you again. I've been awfully dull since you left. Do come soon to cheer me up. — With best love and kisses, your loving Bob." — This is gushing with a vengeance. If the young lady places any value on the original, which was addressed to "School," she can obtain it by applying to our courteous manager. — Goody-goody biographies are generally most nauseous reading in consequence of the namby-pamby, ■piety, and stale biblical quotations which pervade every page. We can, however, cordially recommend Miss Lonsdale's life of " Sister Dora," which has reached a twenty-fourth edition, and may now be obtained at "Upton's for a shilling or two. It is the best work of the kind we ever perused, and should find a place on the shelves of every family where there are ladies and children. N.B. — This is not an advertisement. — As a great many people appear to have made up their minds that Mr Tom Leigh WMte wrote the amusing skit about the eruption of Rangitoto in last week's Observer, we feel it incumbent upon us to state that that gentleman had no more to do with the article than King Tawhaio. A gentleman on the regular staff of the paper was the culprit. It is Mr White's fate to be constantly accredited with pars, which appear in the Observer, but, as a matter of fact, he is nine times out of ten sinless. — Bishop Cowie and Rev. Messrs. Breo and Tebbs, by petitioning for the opening of museums on Sundays, have aroused the bitter hostili fey of a newspaper correspondent. Mother Shipton is surely very wide of the mark as to the date of the end of nil things when we find the clergy so far in advance of the time on this question, and the laity (even in the person of an insignificant individual) surpassing the " cloth " in bigoted intolerance and strait-laced sanctimoniousness ! — The German Club is said to be in articnlo tnortin, its recent action in expelling De LEan having disgusted those of its members whose minds have been at all liberalised. The French Society, on the contrary, continues to flourish. It contains now about 80 members, has a good library, is in funds, and has ordered full files of newspapers and a large number of standard books from Europe. Among the most recent additions to its membership are the Jewish rabbi (the Rev. Mr Goldstein, who is a good French scholar). Mrs David Nathan, and Mrs DeLias. The latter lady is a Parisienne. • — The chief Te Homaru says he has carefully reviewed the " Maori Conversation Book," which contains short and easy phrases for the instruction and guidance of new chums. The review is the briefest and

most concise we have ever seen. It is " too inuchee the humbug." The first sentence that attracted the eagle eye of the reviewer was the question: "How many bushels of potatoes will yon sell me for sixpence ?" Te Heinara says the author doesn't know anything about the spud market, and asks : " What can you expect for sixpence ?" — Who says advertising is not beneficial i Here is a true story about a Queen-street tailor. He started in business two years ago with £250; he advertised liberally from the start and is now worth £1500 m cash, possesses £400 worth of stock and has a good business. The boss of the Publican's Own Bottle Wrap boasts that he has two columns of Billingsgate in store for us, apropos of one innocent par in last issue. Two columns to answer two lines. Good Lud ! (to quote Lingard) how they must have gone home. —It is a wonder that there are not more candidates for the directorship of the Bank of New Zealand than there are in these hard times when the fact is so well known that the salary is ono thousand pounds per annum. — To be discussed nt the next Presbyterian session: "How long should a funeral service last when the parson is paid, and how .«7iort a time should be occupied when he is required to officiate for " pure love and affection ?" A recent occurrencehas suggested this idea, and we hope the subject will receive due considera—A statistical return of the liabilities of the principal towns in the colony shows Auckland in a very good light. The indebtedness of our municipality is only £125,000, as against— Dunedin. £509,400, Wellington, £430,000, and Christchurch, £200,000. Even little Oainaru owes £110,000. — A good story is related of the late lamented Mr Moorhouse, of Cbristehurch. He had obtained the acquittal of a man who had himself regarded escape from punishment hopeless. On leaving the Court, the overjoyed prisoner came up to his lawyer and said, " Well, Mr Moorhouse, after what Ive < heard you say about the case, I really don't believe I did it at all." j — Some members of the Auckland Diocesan Synod are wanting very much to pray for the benighted Legislature of New Zealand. Without at all attacking the doctrine of the efficacy of prayer, we scarcely think the petitions would n vail. Perhaps the proposal was only a "lark," and the gentleman who proposed it the lineal descendant of the Charlie Larkins who badgered Mr Verdant Green so terribly. — Now, William Horace Lingard is a few thousand miles away from Auckland ho relieves his " spleen" by writing nasty things about 'Enery. Those who know the iiis and outs of that bankruptcy affuir of his are, however, well aware that but for the much misplaced clemency of 'Enery, Tommy Macfarlane and Mr Hesketh, Horry would, at the present moment, be smashing stones in the classic regions of Mount Eden. — An admirer of Mr Hurst declares that the reason for his regret and telegraphing to the Government his disappointment at the refusal to^nlist men in Auckland to swell the number of the contingent defence force at Taranaki, was from the fact that Aikinson had promised him the bones of the slain at a chenp price. From which fact our readers will see that some men are not as big fools as they look. - — There were private theatricals at Oxford during this year's comuiemoration.and there was a piece put on of which we forget the nnme, but in which there was a character named Polly, played by a young lady with much cleverness and brio. An aesthetic poet, who had hung with rapture on words, and tried to force her soul to his with eyes which not more than two extra glasses of Pol Roger had slightly dimmed, turned round, when the curtain fell, to Ruskin, who was sitting a row I or two behind him, and exclaimed, " Master ! is not Polly precious ?" < — We hoar that Sir George Grey has been negotiating for the sale of the Knwait, with" the intention of investing the purchase monej for the joint benefit of certain relatives. The figure was about £'19,000, but the negotiations fell through from the followiusr cause : — Mr Gilfillan, of Melbourne, from whom Sir George Grey purchased the property, reserved a clause in the deed of transfer entitling himself, his heirs, administrators, and assigns ten per cent, royalty on any copper taken out of the island. In the recent negotiations this clause of the deed was overlooked, but as soon as the intending purchaser discovered it, he withdrew his otter. — The advertising columns continue to be the most humorous department of our daily contemporaries. This is the latest bit of "funny" writing : — "Wanted, a nicely-furuished room, by a respectable young man, close to Queen-street, with use of kitchen. Terms moderate. — Address, Mngnn, Star office." That there should be a respectable young man "close to Queenstreet " is surely not so unusunl a fact as to be considered phenomenal ; but this one is further distinguished by the fact thnt he has "use of kitchen." He might be satisfied with these manifest and substantial advantages, nnd not go howling round for " a nicely -furnished room" somewhere else ! — The other morning a gifted lawyer at Ponsonby thus snng to his better-half, who, during the courting days, was fond of seuthnental verses : — " Come into the garden, Maud, For the Spring showers have begun ; Come into the garden, Maud, We are going to have some fun ; For the slugs and the snails are crawling abroad On our fruit trees, every one !" Of course you suppose Maud went at once in response to the kind " invite." Not at all! Marriage, somehow, seems to take the poetry out of gardens and things. — A fascinating young Church of England clergyman was at a party the other evening, and to enliven what promised to prove a Quaker's meeting he narrated the following story : — " Once, when in the old country, I was travelling in a train with an old gentleman of clerical appearance as a companion. It was while I was in the north of Ireland, you know. I made some remarks to the old man, and whereupon he said, ' You are going to perdition.' ' No,' said I, thinking myself very clever, ' I am going to Belfast.' 'To Hell-fast, you mean,' quietly remarked the old gentleman, with a far-away look in his eye. I collapsed and troubled him no further." — A determined vendetta is reported to have sprung up between the Germans and Frenchmen of Auckland in consequence of the expulsion of Mr De L'Eau from the ranks of the Teutons. It seems that in disgust at the intolerant treatment to which the worthy artificer of shirts was subjected for his out-spoken condemnation of the Jew-baiters, the sons of Gaul resolved to deal no longer in German sausages — in fine to "boycott" that particular article of diet. The "SanerKrauts" have now retaliated by proscribing French rolls, and it is expected that this will lead to further hostilities on both sides. In the meantime Barnett, the pork butcher, and Waters, the pastry cook, in alarm at these bans upon their products, are doing their " level best " to effect a reconciliation between the contentious foreigners. — " The Great Unpaid " are sometimes justly censured for their vagaries on the Magisterial bench ; but what are we to think when we find the following reported of the R.M. of this city : — Two young men were brought up and pleaded guilty to the charge of fighting with each other in Elliott-street. The prosecutor said the dispute between prisoners originated in the Theatre Royal, from which they had to bo expelled. His Honor thereupon delivered this sapient judgment : For the bout nt fistcuffs in the public street, to which they pleaded guilty, he would allow them to go " scot free ;" but for T.he disturbance in the theatre, with which they were not charged, and which was in no sense proved against ■them, he fined them each 5s and costs. Oh, inoy ! —The regular tea-aud-bread and butter reporter of the Star waxes eloquent on the real jam tarfc on which ho was regaled at the Good Samaritan teafuddle. He is very severe by implication, however, on certain rival tea-splashes, at which he says the pastry was not up to the markand some of the unfortunate people who partook of it suffered from "nausea." Since then an irate member of the opposition party has called at this office to vindicate the character of their pastry. He says the reporter did not suffer from nausea out from a big gorge. —There has been quite a rush to Hannaford's Matrimonial Agency Office to enquire after "the highly respectab'e, well connected middle-aged widow lady (no children) who has moderate means" and wishes to ally herself for life " with a gentleman (not under 40) who is possessed of capital and otters a good home." We know at least half-a-dozen elderly parties who are on the trail. Mr S., M.H.R., has been seen in the neighbourhood of Upper Queen-street once or twice, and two wollknown bachelor bank managers ran up against each other outside Hannaford's on Tuesday last.

— " Neptune's " contributions are too late for this issue. — Mr E. A. Sherrin left for the Kawau on Tueseay, on a visit to Sir George Grey. — The Colonial Treasurer of the future — Mr W. F. Buckland " on his own hook." — Eodgers, you're wanted. See advertisement in another column. — A Frater-nai bond — The deed of partnership between Messrs. W. and J. Prater. — Mr King and the Pateterc Company are likely to go to law over land disputes. — Te Whiti's last speech has cost the colony £50 a word. Then speech is not always silvern, hut gbldcn. — The Patctere Company are quarrelling over the spoil. When certain men fall out, others get their own. — A publican's opinion — Local Option Bills. Local slops and pills. ■ — Captain J. McKonzie was in his element at the Ponsonby Gift Auction. — Mr Rich was a passenger en route to London by the City of New York to float the Patetere land scheme, with Mr Follet Halcombe. — A follow who is not a dab hand at orthography, says they call some men " candy dates" because they are fond of " sugar." —In our next issue we purpose devoting a portion of our space to a sort of electors vatic mecum, entitled, " The Coming Candidates ; Who's Who ?" — Mr E. A. Drummond, the principal bass of St James' choir, leaves Auckand next week for Cambridge, where he has accepted v position. Tribulation amongst the ladies ! — There was nothing wild in the bowling of Lankhaiu, jun. Both pitch and pace showed that he must have been indulging in morning practice preparatory to the opening of the season. He took 15 wickets for 35 runs during the afternoon. — The great benefit of the Ferry Company's employees having uniforms lies in this— that when you are insolently treated on board, you know it is by one licensed for the purpose, and by no mere unauthorised " cad." — The statement to the effect that there was £120 in the Theatre on the night of the performance of "On Guard" is incorrect. The amount was £90, only £40 of which goes to the expenses fund, the balance of £50 being handed over to the Distressed Hebrews. — The outcome of the Amateur Dramatic Society's entertainment will be handed over to the Treasurer of the Distressed Hebrews Fund as soon as the secretary enn get returns from sundry patrons, etc., who undertook to sell tickets. — The electoral rolls for the forthcoming election close when the writs are issued. But by Clause 8 of the Registration of Electors Act, new claims to vote must be registered 15 days before the issue of the writs. It is important to bear this in mind. — The Amateur Dramatic Society have suffered considerable annoyance from Mr Lionel Phillips who wanted to become a member, but was blackballed, and therefore feels it necessary to make things as warm for the young gentlemen as he can. Such behaviour is, however, not very dignified. — How are the mighty fallen ! I'he Auckland widows, even thowe with "' moderate means," are finding all their arts and charms unavailing, and are applying to T. B. H. for partners for life. There is hope for the bachelors of our community yet ! Cheer up, Sainivel ! The vidders have thrown up the sponge ! — Another little girl scalded to death by drinking from the spout of a boiling tea-kettle ! A correspondent wants to know why it is always female children who suffer in this way. He will be wanting to know why it is always boys who try to carve their initials on the mule's flank, and who experiment on the can of kerosene with a lighted candle. — The expenses of the Auckland Dramatic Society's entertainment were not really heavy. The fact is, the management trusted to being able to use the " Pinafore" scene for the second act and only discovered it had been painted out a few days before the performance, when they had to give Mr Frahm his own terms to do a new one. — Mr Kinsella was the very bea» Ideal of grave dignity when he was accommodated with a seat beside Judge Macdonald iii the District Court the other day, during the reading of his notes on the Maori perjury case. The acoustic properties of the court are very deficient, and tli c change of position from the witness box to the judicial bench was a mere matter of convenience to the judge. — Are the fares to Devonport reduced after all ? The " puffs" in the local columns say they are ; but the authentic advertisements of the new Steam Ferry Co. are not quite explicit. The Herald says the fare is — " Sixpence, Sixpence," and, in our school days, two sixpences made a shilling ; while the Star states it to be " Sixpence — Sixpence — Sixpence," which " tots up " to eighteenpence. Meanwhile, what ia the fare, anyhow ? — " Under the G-aslight" was performed at th c Theatre on Saturday night to a very fair house, Mr Leake playing Snorkey, and being well supported by the company. On Monday night a new Hibernian Drama, entitled, " Kerry Gow" was produced, Mr Leake sustaining the character of Dan O' Hara. " Waiting for the Verdict was advertised for Th ursday and Fx*iday, and on Saturday Mr Leake will appear in his great impersonation, " Richard the Third." — " Puck" wives from Dunedin : Absolutely nothing doing 1 this week. Bent's Minstrel's closed oil Saturday, after very moderate business, and are now up country. Sherek'a combination has returned here and is being enthusiastically received by somewhat limited audiences. Barrett's pupils intend producing the " Hunchback." Pollard's troupe opened on Wednesday evening in "Lcs Cloches de Corneville," and were flatteringly received by large house. — Grood actions, are it appears, occasionally rewarded even in this world. The other day Mr Edwin C — , timber dealer, had a visit from a gentleman, whom he did not at first recognize, bnt, who made himself known to him ns the recipient of a favour which, years ago had enabled him to tide over a period of great trouble and difliculty. " I have remembered your kindness ever since," said this mysterious person, " and now Mr C I want you to oblige me by accepting this cheque for £25." At first Mr C • demurred but when his friend pressed the point ho gave way, and after a pleasant talk thepair parted mutually satisfied. — N,B. — If this worthy has any more cheques to spare, we have a vacancy for them. — Co-operation is becoming popular, and has got a step beyond goldmining. On a recent clear moonlight night two jolly bachelors might have been seen sharing the smiles and conversation of one young lady on the seat on Constitution Hill. The old poet who wrote that, " Love no partnership allows — Cupid admits of no divided vows," is long since dead, or he would be ready to admit that " that sort of thing's an exploded idea !" This young evidently belongs to the More-man persuasion. — An unseemly fracas is said to have taken place at a country town, in which the Observer was indirectly concerned. The committee of a certain rink club blamed a young biink oificial for supplying thelocal coiTespondent of this journal with information and went so far as to intimate to him that his absence at the rink in future would be more agreeable than his attendance. But the youthful bank oificial was not to be bluffed and the next meeting of the club he presented himself at the door as largo as life. Trouble ensued and hard words were used, but what ultimately transpired we have been unable to ascertain. The young bank official has since been removed to another district, and current gossip circulates that the aforesaid fra can is the cause thereof. — Cats are selling at 2s 6d a head in Wellington. Fur has not been at such a premium since the days of Whittington. The old maids of the Entire City are disconsolate, and there is grief in the homes of the " Mewaes !" The following is the fashionable nursery ditty :— Pussy cat, pussy cat, -where have you been ? Up at Taranaki, of settlements the Queen ; Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you get there ? Lots of fat rabbits, and now und then a hare ! Pussy cat, pussy cat, why did you come down To that rich settlement to " move the felines " of the town ! And what will you do with ns, when once you get us there ? Sell you to the settlers at five " bob " a pair !

— We are pleased to be able to announce that Mr Charles 0. Montrose, for a long time one of our most valued contributors, lias now joined the permanent staff of the Observer, and will assist in editing the paper. — Tli ere are some exceedingly shocking scandals in circulation regarding the conduct of a certain institution in Auckland, and which are put forward in the authority of two respectable persons. The man who is most active in spreading the reports is actuated by palpnhly interested motives, and not a little by malice. If we were to credit the reports, some of the scenes recently witnessed by neighbours of the instution rival some of those described by Burns in "Tain o' Shanter." For otir own part we have reason to believe that the stories are either pure inventions or a gross exaggeration of some trifling irregularity. The allegations must, however, have reached the ears of the committee, and in justice to the management there ought to be a searching inquiry. — The following is a new version of "In the Gloaming," written by an English politician and pirated by Mr Ernest Bayley, who published it in the Sydney Bulletin with his own initials at the bottom: — In the tram-car, oh, my darling, When the company is low, And the ladies' lap-dogs snarling In and out the tram-car go — When in vain I searched for threepence To discharge my legal fare, It was odd, indeed, my darling, That I should have met you there. In the tram-car, oh, my darling, Think not bitterly of me, Because I wont away and left you, Left you there to pay for me. Eor I had not got a penny, I was poor as I could be, It was best to leave you thus, dear, Not for you, but best for me !