BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 55, 1 October 1881, Page 44

BRIEF MENTION

■ — Host Cairns entertained Mr and Mrs Weir at dinner, on "Wednesday evening, at the Star Hotel. — "Epicurus." — Yes, only your contributions for this issue were too late. Always send them in by Wednesday morning at latest. — There is no foundation whatever for theHerald's announcement that Mr "Wilkinson and Dr Kilgour intend standing for the Thames. — The Burgesses are a lucky family. They takewithin a few pounds of £1000 a year in salaries from theHarbour Board. — Mr Thwaitcs contends that an " eye-opener" is an indispensible ocular requisite. Ask Mr Hemus, dear George. — A strenuous effort is to be made to improveSt. James's choir, and a new choir-master — Mr Culpan of "Waikato — has been appointed. — A correspondent complains that it is a growing 1 fashion with lady organists to heat time to the music with a vigour which might lead one to imagine that hob-nailed shoes were hard at work. — New subject for the St. Andrew's Mutual Improvement Association. Address (by Mr Hamilton Hazyhead) on " The natural laws of loquacity and their relations to tho vacuity of the human head."' — Another subject for the St. Andrew's Mutual Improvement Society : — " The chemistry of currant jelly and its effects on the addled brains of a Mutual Improvement Associator " — Mr J. A. Hazyhead." — It is now more than probable that Rev. Thomas Spurgeon will remain here considerably longer tban was at first expected. The Baptist maidens are delighted. — How will the " enterprising " people of Queen-street like this, from a diminutive sheet in an out of the way settlement on tho. East Coast : " The Auckland slow-coaches must woken up, or they won't stand a show in these go-ahead times." — -If we were ambitious to figure as a prophet we should be inclined to predict that the next important move will be a march on Pnrihaka, and the exaction of material guarantees for the peace of the West Coast. Time will show. — Bill Wiggins has given tip mining and started in business at the Tiki. He is getting up a sweep on the Melbourne Cup, doe 3 a little sharebroking 1 , and gives lessons in skating. His motto is to be, " Large profits, and small exertions." — The residents of Ponsonby will hay« lively times within the next few months. A choral society and a brass band are both to be formed, and the eifect should be speedily apparent. It is to be hoped that Bernard will not allow the enthusiastic bandsmen to play their brazen instruments after midnight. — Rev. R. L. Macnieol has gone in for givingthe children of his congregation Bible instruction on Saturday mornings instead of schools. It would be well if other parsons attended to these duties instead of relegating them to teachers, and saving themselves the trouble. — Tho lady members of the French Club ai-e coming out of 'their retirement. On Saturday evening next a comedietta is to be presented, in which Mrs General Stoddard and Miss Grunchy (one of her pupils) take part. The male characters are to be borne byMessrs. Villeval, and John and James Anseime. — A pugilistic encounter between a Jewish tradesman and a loquacious basketmaker is reported to have come off in the Market last week. The man. of osiers, it is said, indulged in some language which most lexicographers have omitted to define, and the Hebrew, thinking it was unnecessarily severe, went in strongly for " potted head." I — Only half-a-dozen of the Scottish Company were present at the drill-shed on Tuesday evening. The following impromptu lines on this melancholy subject were subsequent'y found there: — ' Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled, Scots wham wnuskies often fed, Why don't ye muster in the shed ? — The Set moan Times is defunct. It died a natural death from lack of sustenance. The common circulating medium in Samoa is baked human head. The proprietor of the Times got tired of a uniform diet, and wanted a change. Besides there was a difficulty in the present state of the law of exchange. Having no use for for more than one head himself, he gave up the business. — In an early issue we shall publish the names of the craven publicans who, despite the decision of the Licensed Victuallers Association, which resolved not to support a trade organ, have suffered themselves to be bounced into payiug 30s a quarter towards a half ruined pressman's butchers' and bakers' bills. As these gentry desire publicity they shall get it from us as well as from the subsidised print. — It is frequently tho case that bags of bonedust and even more objectionable articles are stowed in vessels together with flour, sugar and other edibles. After typhus carries off some of our dignitaries the cause of the fever may be traced to the above, and extraordinary measures perhaps taken to prevent continuation of same. "Until the steed is stolen, however, we suppose the door will be left open. — "8 " writes to contradict the statement of " Daub " that the Auckland Society of Arts is debarred by want of funds from holding reunions. Tho Society has £60 banked to its credit, but will not expend any more on conversaziones or reunions until it has sufficient funds to erect a hall of its own, which would eifect a saving of at least £100 a year. It is also hoped that the Government will give a site for the hall. — The Parnell Borough Council has taken a very praiseworthy step in compelling the Grammar School Board to render certain houses owned by them fit for human habitation, instead as they are now, mere-pig-styes. The City Council might follow their exampleby bringing to book certain sordid, grasping landlords, who prey on the necessities of the poor by charging extortionate rents for squalid hovels which are the hotbeds of sickness and disease. — There will be a grand ceremony at Newton on Monday next on the occasion of the consecration of the Newton Lodge of Mark Masters, No. 280. The following members' of the craft will officiate : — W. Bro. H. G. Wade, as W. M. Designate ; W. Bro. M. Niccol,. consecrating officer ; W. Bro. F. W. E. Dawson, installing officer ; while W. Bro. W. J. Lees will conduct the musical arrangements, and W. Bro. J. H. Burns figure as director of ceremonies. — We are glad to learn from the Herald that the Wade is now "a classic region." Hitherfcowe had. a vague idea that it was chiefly notorious for big turnips, enfranchised working bullocks, and. feats in connection with the production and consumption of whiskey. We find, however, that we have done the Wade an injustice. Perhaps the erudite Puffington will slightly vary his explorations in the musty annals of Roman History by treating the old tabbies and juveniles to an essay on the ancient manners and costumes of tho classic Wadians. ' — The Rev. C. M. N. on Sunday night last, with bated breath, and in tone 3of sepulchral liorrorinformed his congregation that the pews of old English, churches were so arranged as to face the pulpit, •while these pulpits (horrid sacrilege) were not even placed towards the oast. He paused as if to allow his hearers time to fully comprenend the terrible wickedness of their forefathers, and then proceeded to give some soulharrowing particulars touching the location of the chancel. Degenerate ancestors I Enlightened descondonts. — Mr Burton, we have heard, acted upon our •• advice to be wary of what he said or insinuated ou the subject of hair. The ladies mustered at St. James's Hall in strong force, and the abashed lawyer carefully • walked round the dreaded -subject, surveying it from a distance, and offering up a few pious exhortations uwon things in general. Mr Cooper's remarks upon the subject of " Noses " shewed that he had been philosophizing iipon them to some purpose. His disparagina— allusions, how.ever, to the "bottle." the "cherry^* and* the "strawberry" nose, are likely to be warmly resented by a formidable body of citizens under the leadership of Hannaford and Greenaway. — Mr Hurst told one of his colleagues in Wei- • lington that ho intended to contest the electoral district of Waitemata, but it now transpires that Ms ambir-

"tion aiinsat a far higher sphere, and that in recognition of his shining abilities, eloquence, and distinguished patriotism he is to be elevated to the serene, aristocratic atmosphere of the '• Lords." The old noblesse are grieved in these modern days at the plebian occupations which some scions of nobility have descended to ■ — the stage, the bar, physic, and manufactures, but we believe Lord Hurst will be the first life-peer who has ever entered into the bone business. There is, however, a certain degree of propriety in the combination, when we remember the propensity to ' " bone " estates which the British aristocracy has exhibited ever since William the Conqueror came over with his horde of Norman plunderers. — Spurgeon told a very good story at a tea-fight the other evening. A i>arson, he snid, was very anxious to drop a word in season to one of his parishioners, a barber who was a too frequent worshipper at the shrine of Bacchus. The opportunity came one day, and he did not fail to take advantage of it. He had gone into the ■barber's shop for a shave, and while the delicate operation was in progress, the "professor of religion" Observed from various sure indications that the "professor of the tonsorial art " had been imbibing freely as usual. Suddenly, the man's hand shook more than usual, and the result was a slight cut on the parson's face. When he felt the blood on his cheek, the clergyman thought the time had come to put in a good word, and with impressive solemnity he said, " Now, John, do you see the effect of taking strong drink ?" The barber was, however, too much for him, for he laconically replied in a compassionate tone, " Ay, sir, it makes the skin uncommon tender." — When this meets the eye of the public, and unless the N.Z. L. and M. Company stay their hand, the small but valuable library of Mr Singleton Rochefort will have come under the auctioneer's hammer. We suppose it's all right. If the office rent is due, and if the tenant is unable square up, doubtless the N.Z. L. Co. is legally entitled to its pound of flesh. In this instance.however, we are afraid that in taking their pound of flesh they will also take the life blood of their debtor, and legally no one can stop them from so doing. The public, however, will look on in amazed wonder at a company suchastheN.Z.L. C 0.,50, 50 immenselyrich.anddealingasit does in millions, stooping to seize and sell the stock-in-trade of an unfortunate lawyer — the tools, so to sx'eak, of the workman — for paltry arrears of rent. — Under the existing law, a workman's tools, those by which lie gains a livelihood, cannot be seized by a creditor. If this the case, the spirit of law, though not the letter, is broken by the N.Z. L. Co. when they lay their hands upon Mr Rochlbrt's library and law-books. — We have never any objection to correct trifling errors into which we may have fallen, and may therfore state that Mr Parker was onboard the Customs launch when she went ashore at Motuihi. We are sorry to liear, however, that Mr Parker, entertaining suspicions as to the identity of our inforinaut interviewed a certain post-office official (who, it may be stated, has not power to get one single word in the Observer) and without further ado began to threaten and bounce, stating that he would have him reported to Wellington, and dismissed. The suspicion arose from the fact that the unfortunate fellow upon, whom he cast the whole weight of his indignation knew about the accident and Parker hoped to bounce him into a disclosure |of the writer's name. It appears the young man did, speak to some friend about the att'aii*. and. told Parker so, and the latter, following up the cue, interviewed the presumed writer, adopting, however, a milder tone, and asking to have a correction made. He was out in his guess, for his second victim knew less of the affair than the first. When we heard that Mr Parker was likely to be sacked if the correction were not made, we hastened to do him justice, but he ought to apologise to the two gentlemen whom he wrongly suspected, and threatened with the vials of his wrath.

. — The Auckland Timber Company is going ahead, and will declare a dividend shortly. — Speaking of Slave-Driver's Gag Bill, ilie Dunedin Star says : — " Were this to become law no newspaper in the Colony would be secure from prosecution." — The Oamaru Tlme.s- calls Gisborne " the sweet, Sodom of the 2s'orth," upon ■which the Poverty Bay luminary retaliates by referring to Oamaru as " the modern Gomorrah of the South." Helmed pleasantries arn't they ? — The grand topic of conversation on the Parnell 'bus just now, is who was the architect of Mr Archy Clarke's new coach house. The names of Strange, Wrighley and Baker have been mentioned but they deny the soft impeachment. — Some people think that the gentleman who "wrote the account of his visit to the Lunatic Asylum iv the Star the other day should take up his permanent residence there, lie seemed so highly pleased "with "that highly delightful suburban retreat at the Whau." — The Star in last week's " Scintillations " asserted, that a man "\vas never too drunk to know the difference between a chui'ch and a drinking saloon. To shew, however, that such a ■calamity is possible, we may state that only last Wednesday as Mr Hardwick, the verger of St. Paul's, was about to close the church-door alter practice, an elderly toper "walked into the aisle and demanded a pint of beer. This is a fact, so the scintillator may take a back seat.