THE cOUNTRY.

Observer, Volume II, Issue 44, 16 July 1881, Page 489

THE cOUNTRY.

WAIROA. — The Kopuru male dancing class is progressing. Fancy twenty or thirty sturdy, stnlsawyers, to whom walking gracefully is a difficult task, wading through the mazes of the Lancers or Caledonians, sans hats, coats, and vests ! Our photographer friend with the assthetieal hair has joined the list of pupils, and the numbers are swelling considex*ably. Visitors to Mangawhare and Kopuru respectively are •earnestly requested to abstain from singing the songs " Susan's fond of me " and " Hannah, how's your ma." One of the Kopuru gymnasts niet with a mishap the other day in falling from the horizontal bar. luckily it was a woodhead that met the floor, or brains would have been scattered. The Orange ball last week was the largest gathering that has taken place for some time, but as a display of costumes a failure. The rival belles, Miss D. and Miss M. C, both looked their very best, and had each their shai - e of admirers. Mrs L., as usual, dressed and looked her best, and Mrs C, in her wedding dress of pompadour silk, was the synosure of all eyes. The "Infant" did his share of spooning, but where was " Charlie ?" Who was the young lady who had a gentleman's coat around her feet in the boat going back from the temperance meeting, and still complained of the cold? Alf Black has joined the Pinkiweasle crowd. Brockless is said to be going in for the four hundred. "Doctor" Black is bewitching our Aratapu beauties with his metropolitan wiles.

Taukanga. — About the time of the late fire there appeared in the Observer a paragraph calling the Tauranga people some very appropriate names for the laissez false aller manner in which affairs are cai-ried on by them. Well, since the fire, not a stir worth mentioning has been niade about fire engines, &c. It has all dropped until the next one happens, and now in like manner, after having failed to support the Union S.S. Company when trading here, they are allowing the if orthern company to rub it in properly. Freights have been raised, the boats are running very inconveniently, iardly giving time to put out and take in cargo, business letters have to be very hurriedly answered, and the mail is sometimes not sorted till midday, and then closes again at 3.30 p.m. The cleanliness of the Union Company's boats is greatly missed, as was remarked by a stranger who lately travelled in the s.s. Wellington. He said, "'lt is easy to bo seen that the Union Company do not own the Wellington now. Her appointments, her saloon attendance and cleanliness are not a patch on what they used to be." Whose fault is this ? Certainly not our local agent, for had he been agent for the Union Company we should have had their boats running here ziow. We are given to understand that the Wellington is to be laid up till the tourist season conies round. This is treating the Tauranga people as they deserve, i.c ■on the principle that any boat will do for them. The lively time one spends on a trip in the Glenelg will soon shut the doors of all respectable hotels to passengers by her, if it does Tauranga has only herself to blame. Well may Southerners exclaim on landing here, " You are fifty years behind time," and likely to remain so. Moreover, the local "Buster" seems to be labouring under the same disease, and we look back with regret to the time when it was run by some of its late editors. All the eligible men round town are on the look out for the change of colour in a certain young lady's hair. The fact is she forgot to pay the barber for the last bottle of hairdye before leaving Auckland, and he has stopped the supply. The would-be leader of the haut ton here came out with her proper dance last Wednesday evening. No young ladies were admitted without mothers in attendance, and those without that necessary encumbrance had to hire them. Young men not attending church regularly, and seen passing the time of day to any fair one more than once, not admitted ; and so on. However, the party,:considering the absence of many old friends who have been, and are still, the life and soul of all our dances, went off pretty well. But the line must bo drawn — so says our Drum-major; and <- we draw it at honest traders." There, Rcinuera, what do you think! No ribands and laces, butchers, &c, &c, allowed here. A milkman may occasionally be admitted when young dancing men are scarce. We have not, however, 3 r et defined the line for the female part of the community, as we might bring it home to ourselves. This, however, will be settled at our nest "At Home." I must also give the hostess credit for the oyster patties. They were very appetising, but for the future let me suggest that gentlemen should be limited to two, as then I may be able te taste one.

Thames. — I wonder who is the next to he sacrificed ! Pilate and Herod have shakeu hands, and washed down, their differences with a glass or two of — well, say water. It was amusing the other evening to see Wilkie and McCullough together hand and glove, as if they had ever been cemented by the closest ties of friendship, like Jonathan and David. 'Tis very Chris-tian-like of them. A certain parson, now in New Zealand but formerly of England, was a great anti-smoker, and in the course of a sermon broke out with the ejaculation — " It is written 'Ye shall suck the milk of the Gentiles,' but you suck smoke." The Rev. V. Lush does not take such extreme views, for at the last meeting of the Hospital committee, upon his proposition, funds were collected for the purchase of a supply of the soothing weed for the inmates of the Old Men's Refuge. The old boys say a little lush would be equally acceptable. Some choice individual, who must be "fond of of picking a little bit of chicken," has entered Morgan Morris' poultry yard and carried oft a load of tender chicks. Detective Parrell says it was a very foicl transaction. 1 noticed a prominent promoter of Sun-day-schools enjoying "Pinafore" muchly the other night. His motto is— "Train up a child in the way it should go" — according to the law, of course. Apropos of " Pinafore," on the occasion of the second appearance of the Thames amateurs, the proceeds of the performance were in aid of the Ladies' Benevolent Society, and amongst the audience was to be seen a Sunday-school teacher and a zealous deacon of a certain church where they don't sprinkle babies. Whether conscience smote him or not it is impossible to tell, but on the way home he was overheard saying to his daughters, " I wish you to remember, my dears, that the theatre is a place to be shunned. I only took yon to-night to aid a loca charity, and the end partially justifies the means, though I don't think we must go again." Having thus delivered himself, that deacon went down to his house justified. Young Mr 8., of the Department, can't stand " backing " it any longer, and has returned to the Bowen. He says he must defer getting married until the ten per cent, is restored. The schoolteaching fraternity are jubilant over the scarlet fever scare. It is affording them an unexpected holiday, and rumour hath it that they intend getting up a testimonial to Drs Payne and Huxtable. The public believe the worthy medicoes have kindled a great fire with very little matter, as a result of their own application with scarlatina-on-the-brain. How wonderfully corroborative their written and oral testimony is on all occasions. McGowan has publicly stated the doctors themselves spread the disease, and if they were sent out of the place the epidemic would cease. The "little corporal" on board the " Pinafore" was much relieved by the departure of the troupe, on account of the attentions of the " midshipmite " to his fiancee. The chief feature of the final performance of "Pinafore" was the Little Buttercup of Miss Maria Wallen, who ■was called before the curtain repeatedly, and received a most flattering notice from the Advertiser critic. The popular secretary of the Moanataiari Company has invested in a pair of patent leather knee boots, and cuts quite a dash with them as he walks through the town. Charles M. denies that lie is in love. He says that he is not quite a fool yet. Marriage is all the rage here now with the young men. Several couples have just entered the matrimonial state. In one case the bridegroom was 20 and the bride 14, whilst in another the happy man had just entered his 20th year and the fair creature her 16th. I don't think you can beat that in Auckland. People are asking when a certain very unpopular sergeant of police is going to be removed. The local papers stated some weeks ago that lie was about to take his departure, but as yet there are no signs in that direction. A certain spruce young bank official is " hanging up his hat " to a Parawai young lady, the daughter of a well-known resident, and it is notimprobable that the local papers will shortly contain a "splicing" notice. The Thames Amateur Opera Company are taking the utmost pains to render themselves efficient in the " Pirates of Penzance," and from what I can loam are getting on admirably. The first performance will take place in about two months' time. In my next budget I shall give the cast. The local " cabbies " are so infatuated with " Pinafore " that they have formed themselves into a troupe for the purpose of producing that well-known and popular opera on the boards of the Academy of Music. What next ? If all

rumours be true, the Shortland dancing-class will soon be a thing of the past. The members are gradually falling off, and if the decrease continues at the same rate for another month, the only occupants of the hall will be the musicians. No one seems to know the reason of this thusness. In my next I shall have something to say with reference to the Skating Rink. The Engineers can hide their diminished heads now. Their challenge was taken up by the Scottish, and the match came off on Saturday, resulting in the defeat of the former. The largest score yet made at the new range was that of Tom Graham. The soiree, concert and dance held in the Academy on Tuesday, to celebrate the anniversary of the Battle of the Boyne, was a great success. The best song of the evening was given by Mr Richard Wiseman, entitled, "The Steeplechase, or The Biter Bit," being a skit on the recent fiasco at Parawai. There was a good deal of excitement at the Corner on Monday in consequence of the highly successful result of the Waihi trial crushing. The gold was sold to the Bank of New Zealand, and fetched a price unprecedented in the history of the Auckland goldfields, viz., £3 14s per ounce. "Manukau" Jones, who holds large interests at Waihi, was flying about Shortland like a lamplighter, so overjoyed was he at the result of the crushing.

Waikato. — The flourishing district of Hautapu has been quite gay in the matter of marriages lately. Since the beginning of the month four of the residents have paired off. Miss Smith, sister of Mr S. E. Smith was united on the 4th at Cambridge to Mr Ben Lewis Ewen, and two days after Miss Main was married to Mr John Martyn, jun., at St Peter's, Hamilton, thus dividing their patronage. The V. B. was rough on tobacco smoking at the Hamilton Debating Club's meeting on Thursday. Surely the millenium is near at hand. Dr Edgelow distinguished himself the same evening by a spirited defence of the noxious weed, though he deprecated the colonial practice of smoking morn, noon, and night. The Debating Club members have been engaged in a lengthened discussion on the Chinese cheap labour question, and have decided, and very properly too, that the euchre-playing Celestial should be kept out of the colony. It is understood that henceforth the Conius Club's performance will be given to honorary members only, and, in consequence, a large number of people have joined the Club m that capacity. A good deal of sympathy is felt among those of Auckland's old identities who have gravitated hither, and who knew people as they were in days gone by, for the defendant in the pending libel action. Bets are freely offered that the jury will not convict. A nice little " disthurbauce" is brewing out Piako way. Some time ago a certain contractor undertook to perform certain drainage within a given time, and having failed, the engineer, acting under instructions from the proprietor, has taken steps to put on other men to finish the job at the contractor's expense. Unfortunately, the latter has an objection to this mode of procedure, and what is still worse, he is backed in his opposition by his men, who vow and declare that if they catch " that long devil of an engineer" coming there to "interfere wid them" they'll "dhrown" him in the swaurp, so they will — and they meun it. The only feasible way out of the difficulty is one which I believe has been adopted, that is to set Mick against Mick. What a mastication of features there will be when matters come to a head ! A rumour is current in Alexandra to the effect that the present member for Waipa will not, in view of Major Jackson's candidature, contest the seat at the forthcoming general election. It is more than probable that the rumour comes from a bad source, but at the same time it is unfortunate for the party that it should have two Richrnonds in the field. The general opinion is that between the two stools the majority of the electors — for it is undeniable that the Grey supporters are at present in a minority— will fall to the ground. Why the gallant Major should have come out at this juncture no fellah can make out. The votes will be further split by McMinn. Altogether, the Wiiipa election of 1881 promises to be particularly lively. No one, save Dr Beale has given a sign in regard to the Waikato seat. But unless a thoroughly popular local man comes forward to oppose him, J. B. Whyte is as safe as the bank, as the saying goes. Signs are not wanting in this part of the colony that the country is slowly recovering from the perilous condition of 1879-80. Business seems to be in a more prosperous state just now than at this time last year, and a little more confidence is beginning to be felt by those who have something to lose. The prospect of the speedy resumption of much needed public works has, of course, much to do with it, but apart from this there are indications of a general revival. New buildings, especially in the vicinity of Cambridge, are going up daily, and it is evident that a considerable amount of money is finding investment. — What are wanted in Waikato are manufactures. With sugar and woollen factories a new epoch would be commenced in the (history .of our progress. Our old friend Billy Pearce is about to leave Hamilton, and has sold the Commercial to an Auckland gentleman. Many Hamiltonians to whom William's genial smile is well known, will hear this with regret. Mrs Poarce's hen lth, which has not been at all good in Waikato, is the Oiiiy cause for the departure of the family as it is well known Pearce was making a good thing out of the Commercial. Mr and Mrs Field have entered into possession of the Royal Hotel, Hamilton East, sometime in the occupation of Captain Dawson, but more lately in a state of coma. It is cheerful to see a light in the window of the old .Royal once again. Tbe house has been put in excellent repair, and the bar has been varnished and smartened up until it is now a pleasant place to step into. — The Ladies Benevolent Society of Hamilton held its annual meeting on Thursday last, when Mrs Calder was re-elected president and a committee, consisting of Mesdanies Jolly, Searaucke, McGovern, Pulton and French, was appointed. The work which the Society has set itself to do is a good one, but it does not seem to have secured the support of the public. Yet there is no nobler work than that of relieving the sick and distressed. The latest move of the teetotallers in Cambridge is the establishment of a Coffee Palace. Would it not oe better dear friends, to wait for the water supply. The son of Anak wants the princes to put in their first night at Gorton on their way to the Lakes. What will Raynes' Chinese lanterns say to this ? His Most Gracious King Tawhiao, accompanied by the heir apparent, Rewi Maniapoto, and other chiefs of distinction will shortly perigxiuate around Waikato, and may possibly be in Auckland in time to greet the grandson's of the comonarch of New Zealand, Queen Victoria. Potatoes and port have already assumed an upward tendency, as the produce dealers reports have it.

— CAMBRIDGF.— To the Editor: Sir,— The most stirring' topic of conversation in Cambridge just now is the new Anglican Church. You must, of course, be well aware (so I need only allude to the fact) that Cambridge, if not quite so at present, is to be the most important town in New Zealand before another decade has passed, therefore it is not surprising that the inhabitants should wish to take the lead of other towns in church matters. The vestry at their last meeting, with the large-mindedness only to be found in embryo cities such as this, passed a minute (is that right ? I am afraid I don't understand very much about business, but my opinion is that it is a pity they do not thinlc a few minutes and not pass so many) to the eft'eet that a peal of bells should be ordered at once. Just fancy dear Mr Editor how economical those nice vestry men are, for they intend getting six beautiful bells for only a 1 Lttle more than one would have cost, that is, than the one which was promised by that practical Christian, Mr H. He, good man, was going to give a bell which all the grovelling narrow-minded people thought quite good enough, but fortunately they were overruled , by the larger-minded ones, who, in advocating the peal, gain three points. They give St Andrew's precedence amongst churches, prevent the congregation from becoming- too proud (as they might do if they possessed one bell better than any other in the province) and attract people to the church, because, of course, we all know that the nearer you are to a peal of bells, the more charming the sound. I hope I have quite convinced you of the importance of Cambridge. Its wealth speaks for itself, for none but a very wealthy city would undertake the building of a church and providing a peal of bells both in the same year. There are a great many very interesting' things I might write about if I were not afraid of taking up too much of your time, so I had better say good-bye at once. — I am, &c, Angelina.

— Some years ago, Dick Thatcher Avas piloting the talented J. K. Emmet ("Fritz") round the colony. One night during a successful season in a town in this provincial district, Emmet, while on the stage, was slightly inebriated. He happened to spot his agent in the body of the hall, and coming right up to the footlights, said, " Ladies and gentlemen, — Once, having a cold, I put a mustard plaster on my chest." "It's a pity you hadn't it there now," cried someone, from the pit; whereupon the actor remarked, "Oh, Thatcher's baby ate it." This of course turned the laugh against poor Dick, who blushed violently, and very soon evacuated the trenches.