BRIEF MENTION.

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 43, 9 July 1881, Page 475

BRIEF MENTION.

— Willie is engaged. —A fixture— Mr. C. Burton's hat. — Real Jam — Miss Jenny Watt Tanner. — "Bob" is engaged. It's coming off soon. — J. B. Steele has accepted an engagement at the Melbourne Tlieatre Royal. Bravo, J. B. — It isn't so much the hard times that Garrard objects to as tlie working between meals. —Mr Calder's speech at the soiree was very ••buttery" though there was a good deal of (h)air about it. — D'Oyley Cartes' original (provincial) Opera Company is still playing "H.M.S. Pinafore" in' England. — The man who sung that " fiendish" song so ' flat the other night swore he could not help it. — A marriage is said to be on the tapis between the fair Miss McF., of Bllerslie, and Mr T. — Rev. McKenzie Fraser quotes Shakespeare frequently in his sermons. — More pigs and less parsons is a favourite, though rather vulgar, toast in the country -now-a-days. — Sims Reeves, the great tenor, has bade farewell to the stage and concert-room. — Bob lias been very seedy lately, and the •' boys" miss his " tnke it up and alone." — Albery 's new farcical comedy at the Criterion Theatre, London, is entitled " Butterfly Fever." — George's ferry boats (alias fairy boots) are still on view. — Have they found the William Smith who built the Auckland wharf yet ? — Amateur dramatic performances are becoming fashionable. — Mick Gallagher is one of the raciest men in Auckland N.B. — No pun intended. — The coming man in the Union Company's employ is said to be Captain Webster of the Albion. — Bob Lundon has returned again to Auckland. He says there's no place like home. — Crowthers pair of lively bay ponies didn't at all appreciate the " Glenelg's " driving, on Sunday. — Fred Marshall opens at the Theatre on August 13th. — A (k)nightly brawl — The quarrel between Sir George Grey and Sir Maurice O'Korke. — Ponsonby is to be a borough, as that rising suburb objects to be "taken in " by the Council. — Major Pirie has weeded the choir of the of the " flats," and George has gone back again. — Embezzlement on a large scale has just been discovered. Particulars later. — "Tiki" Tiernan is engaged to Mrs. Melntosh's daughter. — The birthday party at Remuera, the other day, was a success. % — Mr Flood still has the gout, and "bears" and "swears." — The j^May Pole Dance" attracted a good deal of attention at the Friday night rink last week. — Nine English Mayors, all total abstainers, were presenfeat a banquet lately given by the Mayor of Leeds. — It Avas amusing to watch the church-goers crawling under the prostrate gum-tree in Alma Place last Sunday. — Mrs Scott-Siddons reappears in London in September, probably at the Haymarket Theatre, during the Bancroft's vacation. — Dick Kholer, the tumbleronican, left Melbourne for New Zealand on the 15th June with a banditti. — The offertory at the dedication of St. Sepulchre's, large though it was, fell £50 short of what the clergy anticipated. — Jim Nolan is about to enter the married state. The ceremony takes plaoe in a few days. — Mrs S. looked charming in a boat-shaped hat and nicely-trimmed silk dress last Sunday. Old S. IB now going in for a large supply of " blue monge." — They are getting up an entertainment at Mount Albert, and report says wars and rumours of wars are exciting that aristocratic neighbourhood. — Allen West, the well-known professor of the terpsichorean art, does not intend to return to Auckland this season. — What has the gentleman done with the pipe he found in another man's coat at a billiard room lately? — Are we to be allowed to smoke our pipes on deck on board the New Ferry Company's boats without her ladyship's permission ? — The Canterbury Times says the Pollards are going to India. Bosh ; they don't want to kill the children quite yet. — Gus Coates has sold Bend 'Or for £6000, but he has reserved the right of running him in the next Auckland Cup. — In Australia last season, one firm alone canned 675,000 rabbits. Here they are sold from 2s 6d to 3s 6d per pair. — A man advertised lately in the Star "that he wanted to give up business and live private." Are there are any mora atf ected in the same way P — The Rev. Alfred was the cynosure of all eyes at the amateur theatricals on Thursday last. They unanimously voted him a " born comedian." — A. J. D. has seceded from the Bank of N.S.W. to enjoy a more lucrative appointment in the Colonial. — The Carden company is, on all hands admitted to be the strongest we have had here for a long time, but somehow they don't seem to take very well. — Ford, of Russell, is going to have a shed on the now jetty, when built. What & long tail our cat will have then. — -The jetty at Russell is to be ran into two fathoms of water in two years. The piles for the extension are growing; — The penny weeklies must indeed be dying of inanition when they have to spy on the doings of a contemporary to provide " copy." — St. Sepulchres' was full on the opening night, and numbers were turned away from the doors — most of them into the nearest •' pub." — Sam and Theo have left the Club. Their wives insisted. They now dine at Waters', and study economy. — Doctor Dawson's representation of "Delph at the St Matthews' dramatic performance was remarkably good. — A large consignment of " biting sculptures" have been ordered for the adornment of St Sepulchre's new church.

— Aitken Carrick has come back from Napier. Ho looks well after his trip, which he thoroughly enjoyed, — W. J. Napier has joined the ranks of the "devil's own." He is decidedly clever, and will probably make a mark in his newly- chosen profession. — A Mamma, residing in the neighbourhood of Wellington-street, wants Fred to call round some morning about half -past nine. At least, so the girls were saying the other night. — Mr Towle, who produced " Les Cloches de Coraeville," at Christchnrch, has put Strauss' "Fantinitza" into rehearsal. We don't think that will be a trump card, however 110113 verrons. —Mr Swomey (nice name, Swomey !), erstwhile of the Timaru Herald, has written a drama, entitled "Lady Clara VeredeVere," which the Saturday Advertiser considers a highly creditable effort. —A., in embarrassed circumstances, confided in an employe : "You hold my business for me, while I get whitewashed." "Agreed." Whitewashing completed, A. wanted the business, employe wanted it too — afld kept it. A. could say nothing. Both are in Auckland, and. wealthy. And still people say timber does not pay.

—No North Shore "At Home," this year, society being too mixed. A brother to an earl, a lady of title, a solicitor and an artizan each and all heartily despise one another. — The City Treasurer, so his masters say, was sixteen-twenty-sixths in fault, and the collector, ten-twenty-sixths. The Councillors, mean to subscribe the money among themselves. —The young ladies present at the dedication service last week, were unanimous tbat the only passable looking men amongst the parsons were the Bishop and Dr. Purchas. — Elliott McKinney, who has been for some time in the head office of the Bank of New Zealand, went South, per s.s. Penguin, on Tuesday, on route for Wanganui, to occupy a good position in the branch of the bank there. — The Tauranga swains are lamenting the departure of Miss Commons and Miss Wriglcy — two of the fairest of the local belles — who are both in Auckland at present. . — McLeod, of Hororaki, one of the Maori chiefs who signed tlie Waitangi treaty, is now a Queen native, and coals the Union Go's boats at the Bay of Islande. — Some of the stage business between Lady Betty Noel and Lord Woodstock, in "Clancarty," is delightfully realistic. O'Brien can prove this assertion. Can't you, Jimmy ? — The Liliputian Opera Company return from the Thames at the end of next week, and will produce " Les Cloches de Corneville " at the Theatre, if it can be hired, or, if not, at the Choral Hall. — Dr. Dawson made the "hit" of the evening at St. James's Hall, on Thursday evening, last week, with the line in " Famify Jars," "Lor" bless your dear insinuating little tongue, give your father a kiss." — The Pollard troupe has, this week, received an acquisition, in the shape of a very clever Auckland young lady (Mis 3 Florence Edwards), whose sweet voice and distingue manner have already made their mar7i; at the Thames, where she appeared for the first time. — F. G. E was in his element last Friday night. He is thoroughly posted in all matters concerning' tea-fights. How the church x'eople managed to get on without him for so long as they did is a puzzle. —The Sydney Bulletin says that Mr J. Henniker Heaton (one of its proprietors) intends seeking a seat in the House of Commons, as the representative of a Home Rule constituency. — The Rotomahana arrived from Sydney on Wednesday, last week, but brought no mails — a fact that reflects the highest possible discredit on the New South Wales P.O. officials and all concerned. — "At Home in Fiji" is the title of a book published by Miss Constance Frederica Gordon Cumniing, a niece of Sir Arthur Gordon's. It should be interesting reading in New Zealand. — Was it a "goak" or as a new way of advertising that the assistant of a well-known Queen-street firm paraded the street on Saturday last marked "At wholesale prices." — 'There was a row at a leading church last week through the choir practising in one room while a prayer meeting was proceeding in the next. Matters are now smoothed over. — The other day, an advertiser who wished to send a circular out enclosed in the Herald, asked the publisher what the paper's circulation was. "Oh ! you may send me down 12,000" (!!!), was the modest reply. — pv- Dawson has missed his vocation. Judging by his acting in " Family Jars " and "My Dress Boots," he can give a lot of points to many of the low comedians who have appeared at the Theatre Eoyal. — Next to "Pinafore" the big sensation of the last two or three weeks ha 3 been the new steam dredge. It not only draws the mud, but attracts a crowd of people every time it is in operatiou-^^fe — Will S., a clerk in one of the princiralpjtncy depots, has, during last week, proposed to and- been accepted by Miss G., the proprietor's eldest daughter. The happy pair are now in ecstacies, as " Pa " has given his consent. — Charlie Buddie, Judge Gillies's secretary, returned from his southern trip with the " boss " by the Albion, last Thursday. He has seen all the principal towns of the Colony, and is better, both mentally and physically, for the trip. /.. — Mr James Nolan who served his articles at Russell and Devore's has been appointed Crown Solicitor at Nelson. Mr Hudson Williamson, the Auckland Crown Solicitor, also servßd his articles in the same office, and so did Mr John Sheeban. — Fancy a man pretending to be a dramatic critic calling (as the Herald's scribe did) Edmnnd Falconer's " Extremes" which was produced at the Lyceum Theatre, London, on the 26th of August, 1858, (or rather more than twenty -three years ago) a new play. — Tommy Lawless, the popular lieutenant of the Thames Naval Brigade, passed through Auckland, on his way to the Waikato, on Monday. Ho says that the Quartzopolis shell-backs intend visiting Auckland en masse during the time the Detached Squadron is here. — " Poor old Jeff " has not been looking well lately. Is the business of the Kauri Gum Steamship Company too lnrge for him to manage, or is the removal of the old tea on which his -office stood for so many years preying on his mind ? — There is a nice little bit of scandal going the rounds, in which the names of a well-known A\ickland divine, a leading 1 member of the Orange Society, to boot, and a half demented female, are mixed up in a most unsavoury manner. — Mr. Henry Holmden arrived from the South on Sunday, per s.s. Penguin, en route for Russell, where he takes charge of tho agency of the Bank of New Zealand, instead of Mr Clough, who has been removed to Tauranga. — Haselmayer disgusted everybody at Russell. He was allowed to use the schoolroom at a nominal rent — given the use of seats and a chandelier, and then demanded full prices of admission for children of six and seven years of age. — A circus manager wanted a new name for his show, and applied to the " best read man in the profession," who suggested " Monohippic Aggregation" as a good one. The circus man had three towns billed before he discovered that "Monohippic" meant "one horse." — " Puck" is responsible for the following :— " Mrs Victoria want 3 a statue erected in Westminster Abbey to Beaconsfield. She would do it at her own expense, but she unfortunately gave away, in the dork, a shilling in mistake for a farthing the other night, and positively cannot afford it." In giving his friends an account of his trip Home the nephew of the Lord Mayor of London omitted to mention that his uncle had given him a severe rating for having forsaken the church of his fathers, and gone over to the Episcopalians. The fact has, however, leaked out somehow. The only son of the man who proudly boasts of being the "only honest draper in Queen-street" has found his affinity. He met her for the first time at the conversazione at tho V.M.C. A. Mutual vows have been exchanged, and the course of love is at present running smooth. —Bob was pretty well "lioav come you so on Saturday night, and was holding forth to a number of admiring youths on the platform of the second-class smoking carriago of the 11.15 train He told one youth that he had the thickest skull he had over seen. In vino veritas. Young Spurgeon, son of the famous U. 1 . Suureeon will arrive in Auckland very shortly, and take charge of the Wellesley-streot church during the absence of the pastor in Australia. Bumper houses and larger collections are fondly anticipated, and the anticipations will no doubt be realised —Mr Justice and Mrs Gillies returned from Napier by the Albion, and we are glad to be able to inform Mrs Gillies' many friends that the trip has had a most beneficial effect on her health. Society may therefore look forward to a renewal of those pleasant and sociable "At Homes" for which Rocklands is noted. —A naughty wag was at St. AndreAVS Church onea&Bgftay evening, lately. After the worthy pastor hadJHHfeed % brilliant simile, our funuy friend, leaning ojß^HPa^S»npanion, said in a stage whisper, " Say QMB^n-I^Sald you call that a Carrick-ature." The " fflHfife^'Jr"^ 5 not l u ** e recovered yet.

—John Smith is surely having enough of litigation. No sooner was the case in which lie was defendant, and Mr Johnstone plaintiff, settled, than he was sued for wages by his stud groom. He says : " The troubles that afflict the just in number many be." Quite true, John, but the just do not, as a rule, refuse to pay their servants their wages. —The young men of St. Andrew's class, in order to prepare themselves for the coming public debate, have resolved to discuss the question selected, at a meeting of their own, beforehand. This meeting will be strictly private in order that the arguments with which they hope to vanquish their opponents may not get known to them. —It was good to hear his Lordship the Bishop remark to Captain M., who was busily engaged sweeping aud dusting in Sb. Sepulchre's new Church, the night previous to the opening, " Rather harder work this, than serving with the Goorkahs at Mooltan." The Captain might readily have replied, in Colonial ' parlance, '"Not so dusty,' either." — The schooner Caledonia is reported to have been seen off Kaipara Heads last Sunday week. The capcain is supposed to have been looking for Hokianga, for he arrived there the following Saturday. Perhaps he liked the Omaha's company so well that he did not like to leave her when he was passing Hokianga, and consequently he proceeded on down the coast. — Mr Farquhar Macrae, formerly headmaster of the Auckland College and Grammar School, returned by the s.s. To Anau on Monday, from a trip to Dunedin. He has availed himself of the opportunity to inspect the principal educational establishments in the Southern provincial districts, and intends to open a first-class high school in Auckland. —Among the passengers hy the s.s. Hero, sent to the quarantine station, at Motuhihi, are :— Mr W. B. Dixon, of the Bank of New Zealand, and his bride. Motuhihi is not an unsuitable place in which to spend a portion of a honeymoon in summer time, but it would be very easy to choose a pleasanter place in winter— Howick, for instance. — Itev. Oalder was very impartial in his " apostolic blows and knocks" last Sunday night. He hit all round. Ifc was a case of " one down another come on." First, the Roman Catholics, then the Protestant sects were laid low by the big voiced little man. The legitimate and only conclusion was, of course, that the Episcopal church was the only true one. — A volunteer wishes to know, you know, why Major Derroin persists in going to the right of the line, in order to give words of command, while the men are so vigorously marking time on the hard asphalt that not even those in the centre can hear what is said. — "Clancarty" had a long run in London with Henry Neville, Ada Cavendish and Emily Fowler in the principal parts. It ought to have gone at least a fortnight here, but the fact is, the " Pinafore" fever has left the Theatre going public dull and lithergic. — "Extremes" and "The Wife's Secret" were produced at the Theatre to moderate houses only. Both pieces were fairly played and mounted. Mr Carden and Miss Marston Leigh scored high honours in the last named drama. Next week we shall endeavour to find space for a lengthened critique of the Carden Company. — Wickham will he defended hy Alf Whitafcer and Bob Browning, whom, it is to be hoped, may be able to pull him through. Had he treated his brother pressmen as gentlemen, instead of "running a niucfcer ' against them, he would now be able to count on their sympathy and assistance. As things are, they would scarcely be to blame if they returned evil for evil. However, we doji*fc suppose they will. — The Rev. Allan Webb whom the Herald correctly describes as a "faithful and hard worked pastor" leaves Auckland shortly for a well-earned holiday in Adelaide. The stories about his staying permanently in South Australia are ill-natured canards circulated by persons who know well enough that no monetary consideration would induce Mr Webb to leave his present flock. — From the imprint of last Tuesday's WaiIcato Mail, we gather that the difference between Messrs E. M. Edgecumbe and F. A. "Whitaker, M.H.R., have come to a head, aud that the former has seceded from the "paper. Important business aud family matters claim Mr Edgccumbe's attention in England, and it is quite likely he will take a run home prior to making a' thorough canvass of the East Coast electorate. — The substitution by a printer's mistake of William 11. for William 111. in tho play bills of " Clancarty," gave rise to a warm discussion amongst some young persons, evidently well posted in English History. The great majority decided that William Rufus, son of the Norman conqueror of England, was the Prince of Orange, and son-in-law of James II. ! — A good story was told at a school committee meeting the other evening relative to the high living in New Zealand many years ago. A seaman on one of the vessels in harbour went up country to visit some friends, and on his return he was asked by his comrades how he had fared, and whether the living there was good. " Living good," he replied, "I should think so. Why, they had pickles at every meal." — An astonishing example of consistency is afforded by the authorities of St James' Church refx\sing the use of their hall to the young people of their congregation for social recreation, and yet permitting the theatrical performances in connection with St Matthews' to take place there. It is said that one of the church dignitaries objected to " sich unholy practices" until assured that a real parson was to take part in the dramatic representation. — The Star's glorification about the Herald's blunders re the New Testament, were rather overdone and far-fetched. As a matter of fact, exactly the same thing might have happened to the evening paper. Mr J. S. Wilson had a copy of the Testament sent him, but Mr Berry, seeing what he judged to be correct extracts, in a Chicago paper, clipped them out and gave the bits to the printers to set up from. Subsequently it transpired that the extracts had been cabled to the Chicago print, hence the errors. "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw ." —Of floating companies there is no end. A number of Remuera residents are talking of forming' a company to import one of those Yankee steamers which will float in six inches of water, and run it along the streets from Queen-street to the Railway Station in winter. If there arc not six inches of water, there are certainly six inches of mud. — The Herald has caused a lot of trouble by publishing a recipe for causing eyelashes to grow. A number of interesting youths, the happy possessors of incipient moustaches,thought that what would cause eyelashes to grow would have the same effect on the almost imperceptible down on their upper lips. The chemists have been enriched with with their pocket money, the' cats have been beaten for stealing tho milk, much valuable time has been spent in preparing and applying tho recipe, but the most careful use of lookingglasses reveal no beneficial results. Substitute microscopes for mirrors, boys. . — There is a vigorous and determined contractor, up North, named Brown. According to a statement made at the last meeting of the Hokianga County Council, he recently resented a remark, which a councillor saw fit to pass upon a public work in which he was engaged, by deliberately administering a stinging slap in the face, while, at a subsequent Council meeting, he poured out dome vituperative abuse -upon the engineer, and concluded by threatening to kick him out of the room unless he consented to pass ih» said contractor's work. The engineer declined to be coerced, and Brown was only prevented from executing summary vengeance by the united action of the councillors. —We extract the following from " Burkes Landed Gentry" concerning Mr Reginald Cholmondeley, a guest at the Northern Club, who is just completing a conchological tour of the world, and will leave for San Francisco- by the out-going mail steamer, . on the 17th inst.: — " Cholmondeley Reginald, Esq., of Caudover Hall, Salop., M.A., Trinity College, J.P. and D.L., Major Ist battalion 28th Salop R.V.; born, 20th April, r1826; married, 17th October, 1867, Hon. Alice Mary Egerton, second daughter of William Ist Lord Egerton, of Tatton, which lady died 27th November, 1868, leaving a daughter, Alice, who died 11th December, 1868." It will thus be seen that Mr Cholmondeley is a man of high attainments as well as lineage. Her Majesty the Queen, Burke says, stood sponsor to the bride of Mr Cholmondeley' s brother when she was married. —The Herald laid the "butter " pretty thick on Captain Daldy, but omitted to mention that he was mainly to blame for the abortion, known as the Auckland Graving Dock, which is too wide and too long for a small dock, and not deep enough for a large one. It is rather curious that the two most strenuous opponents of adequate dock accommodation for Auckland (Messrs.

Daldy and McKenzie) both rejoice in the title of "captain. . Is the scathing remark of Sir Joseph Porter to Captain Corcoran, "You are a captain and probably no sailor, applicable to either of these worthies ? Never ! . Well-^hardly ever ! —There are a lot of flatulent " blatherskites " about who boast that they write for the Observes, and brag about being able to get this, that, or the other in. We hope we may not be obliged to mention the names of these worthies, though, if the nuisance continues, we certainly shall. Meanwhile, one party, a broker's clerk or assistant, who constantly offends, and is an emptyheaded ass into the bargain, had- better take care. For him we have no pity. — There is an opening for a good missionary in Wellington. The Cabinet Ministers appear to be ignorant of even the rudiments of Christianity. It appears that the printers in the Government printing; office have to work on Sundays, and when an hon. member got up in the House and taxed the Government with it, the latter did not appear to think that there was anything wrong about the matter. It is curious that the Government, through that energetic constablo, Sergeant Gamble, should in Auckland fine employers for causing young women to work ou Saturday afternoons, and yet cause their own servants to work on Sundays. — " Asmodeus," the witty flaneur of the Wellington Mail, writes : — " Sir George came down in the Hinemoa, so did Whitaker, junior, and the infant Whitakor. Sir George nursed the little one most carefully during the voyage, and, no doubt, did it well— 'tis his vocation. Someone on board remarked, " Sir George does not visit the sins of the fathers on the children." I should think not, indeed. Supposing the children of the worthy old veteran suffered for the sins of omission and commission recorded against their ■ worthy dad, • what would be the sum total of their penitential sufferings ? No, no ! A fellow feeling makes us wondrous kind. The infantile Whitaker was perfectly safe in the hands of Geordie. One of my familiars, buzzing about the steamer, says this was the plaintive lullaby with which the nurse soothed the sometimes factious nurseling — Husb.-a-bye baby, sleep like a top, When the House opens Patatere I'll shock, "When the fray ceases on daddy I'll call, And vow I was never in earnest at all." — A good story is told concerning the peregrinations of the worthy Anglican Bishop of the diocees, and the Eev. Mr C, one of his clergy. The reverendgentlemen had done a long dusty ride in the Waikato one ' Sunday morning, and lifre other mortals under similar circumstances, were very dry and yearned for the running waters. In this condition, the twain pulled up near a village hostelrie, when the Rev. Mr C. queried, "Is not your Lordship thirsty?" His Lordship admitted that he was. " Oh, well," said Mr C. " I'll soon get something" and he disappeared into the side door of the inn, emerging a second or two later with, a bottle of IDunville in one hand and two glassses in the other. " Oh, but Mr C.," commenced His Lordship in a deprecatory manner, but he was interrupted by his subordinate breaking in, "'Tut, tut, your Lordship. • It's all right. I told them it was for you." The worthy Bishop didn't half like it, but whether he declined the draught deponent sayeth not. — The duties of a land surveyor are not the & most pleasant in .the world. Mr Horatio Nelson War- V ncr has lately had striking evidence of the fact. He was i engaged, the other day, in surveying some property for 1 a customer, in the Eden Terrace district, and, in the course of his operations, discovered that a neighbouringmilkman had advanced his boundary^ fence fonr feet beyond the legal limits. He explained the matter mildly, but the dispenser of lacteal nourishment and his spouse were averse to explanations ofsuch a nature. They forbade him, under various pains and penalties, to interfere with their line of demarkation, and, in order to protect their territorial interests, husband and wife mounted guard, alternately, over the threatoned frontier. Mr Warner hesitated for a time, hut, ro J ceiving imperative orders from his client to proceed with the work, he quietly resumed his duties. The female sentinel was on duty at the time, and, as soon as she heard the sound of peg-driving, she hastened to the scene, armed with an American axe. Rushing xip to the astonished and fearful surveyor and his assistants, she chopped the obnoxious peg into small pieces, and, gathering them up, threw them in the faces of the workmen, eloquently unburdening her mind the while. At latest accounts, hostilities had been temporarily suspended. — Mongonui Maunderings.— Our County Council had a lively meeting the other night, when one Co ancillor proposed that another should be medically examined to see whether he was sane enough to fill the position of Councillor ! The motion was lost on the chairman's casting vote. — The "End of tho World" passed off very quietly here. Mr P. went to bed quite prepared, and was disappointed on waking up to find himself alive and kicking — Some of the membora of our church choir do more whispering and giggling in church, than listening to Mr Gow's sermons. — The " Bival Kinkists" have shaken hands and arc frienda again ; — When Eosie gives another spree, (If she does give any more,) She's going to send the " invites" round Six weeks or so before — Then none can say they wore not asked Till late that afternoon And that the time was far too short They could not dress so soon 1

— "Wade Jottings. — The thing most talked about now is the serious illness of the Wainui eligible, The illness is said to be caused by a. surfoit of baker's bread. Poor follow Ihe is quite delirious, and murmurs constantly the following words : — Alas, the dear paddock Where I once roamed at will Shall echo no longer The brayings of Bill By a widow ensnared, Gone, gone, arc my joys. She has a grim father And two sturdy boys, Was there no friend to warn me No tongue to tell In the words of old Weller Bivare, Samivel. —We hear that Mr J. M. C. is faithfully attached to Edith. That young lady rides at present under a cloud.— The Misses M. no longor entertain, The violets have ceased to shed their perf umo ia the cottage garden, and the May flower droops.— Noah's Ark will soon be desolate, as the doves are about to take flight. Mrs M., a lady from Lucas Creek, is, we beliove, to take possession of the Ark. — We have lost the Major, but we hope not, forever, or what would the ladies do, no more bouquets, no more stout words. I hear a voice of wailing from the hill and the children cry, come back. — Another bright light is also departing. Alas, poor Bobinson Crusoej it is said he is leaving his heart with the Maid of Athens, who refused to restore it.

—Wairoa Gossip.— The "Infant's Folly." is now being utilised, as a photographer's advertisiing board. — A lady .residing opposite Aratapu.wishes a young carpenter to come over and joiner. — Adam B. would become a member of the Foresters' Society, were he not a firm adherent to the faith of Sam Weller, senior. He strictly abjures all " widders." Nuff sed.— The Aratapu Serenaders, like Phoenix, are arising from the ashes, They have voted "Pillieoddy" to top chair, and Teddy to the corner.— Who was the virtuous young man, with the borrowed coat, that escorted the Kopuru belle to the Coast last weok ? — Mason avers that there is something' detrimental, either in the Kqpuru air, or O'Connor's geneva, to el3e why are the ladies having fits. — Old G. at Dargaville, wishes to know if J. M. D. had a license to . shoot game whilst at Motu Uri.— Why was Mangawharo George escorted back by Bourke .last week ?— Misa L. sang very sweetly at the moonlight excursion last week, especially • ' Far Away.' ' The Whakawara residents had a treat.— Two to one that Sam is'lnarrietf before Kope yet. — Quite a furore was created by the late Observer notes. Mr C. was madly indignant. Barnard ditto, , Gardez bien, my friends. — Has Watson's " doctor" got*' a diploma. — Mr Hawkins is quite a rink enthusiast since last Wairoa notes. Nyum, nyum. — What makes Dick " the Giant Killer" look so forlorn and miserable since hist • Sunday. — Tour correspondent, when visiting the Kopuru gymnasium, was looked upon. with, suspicion, as being the Observer. Gymnasium notes in next issue. The collection of photographs (vrngh include many Aratapu belles) exhibited by Messrs Stuart and Co. at Te Kopuru, has caused great sensation.— The ten per cent, reduction seems to agree with our locat guardians of the peaco. They are excellent specimens of happy, contented men.