The Obserber.

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 38, 4 June 1881, Page 408

The Obserber.

Saturday, Jlxe 4th, ISSI. The prospectus of the new Coffee Palace Company would read Letter if the promoters had confined themselves to the idea of. a first class hotel and restaurant only. The attempt to amalgamate the working classes and swelldom under one roof will never answer. Is it, do you think, likely that Miss Araminta Matilda Oldlag, of liemuera, will condescend to partake of a broken butterfly on toast in the same house, if not in the same room with Eliza Jane Jones, the reformed drunkard. Perish the thought ! " Lot laws niul learning, art nncl commerce clie, But idve|us still our (Brnmioayein) aristocracy." In England the coil'ee palaces arc emphatically working men's restaurants, and as such they have succeeded fairly ■well. The better (by which avc mean the richer) classes, however religiously avoid them. The food is good, the drinks wholesome, and the rooms neat and chcerfiil, but if the "gentry" (as they are called in England) frequented these places the working folk ■would not. The fact is, your, thoroughly in dependent British avtizan possesses too much" pride to budge an inch out of his proper sphere. Like the aristocrat and the merchant, he has his club and his restaurant, into either of which it is a liberty for the rich man to enter uninvited. " You," he says, " would consider me out of place at a swell confectioner's or in the dining-room of the Grand Hotel. Well, I think you equally out of place in my coffee palaces, and if you are going to patronise them I shall not." Class prejudices may not, perhaps, be as strong out hero as they are at Home, but Aye fear they will (unless it is greatly modified) be found powerful enough to militate materially against the success of new scheme. There are so many little difficulties to be got over. For instance, the prospectus speaks of "a billiard room, reading room, and smoking room for recreation." Well, now, who are to have the en tree of these chambers. The visitors to the hotel and first-class restaurant only? If so, what Avill the frequenters of the large room " for the special benefit of the working 1 classes" say '? _ Do _ you think independent " working colonists will patronise a place where they are shoved away by themselves in one room ? On the other hand, supposing the recreation rooms are open to all, how will swelldom like it ? No. The fact is, to be a success, the Coffee Palace must be either one thing or the other — either a well-con ducted hotel and restaurant for the upper and middle classes, or a coffee palace on the English system for working men. -o _ Our own impression is that a thoroughly first class hotel and restaurant might be made agreat success. It would, however, have to be conducted in a very different manner to the eating-houses now extant. The triumph achieved by the Coffee Palaces in Australia is due to many causes. To begin with, first-class cooks were

imported from Paris and London, and the food was served up in a new and altogether delightful manner. Instead of sloppy cloths, fusty glasses, and dull muggy knives and forks, there were glistening tablecloths of virgin white, polished silver (or rather electro-plate), and sparkling glass. Vases filled with flowers adorned the tables, fetching little French twists stood beside each plate, and there was a general air of brightness and cleanliness. It seemed, indeed, as if a room at Verrey's, the Cafe Royai or the Criterion, had been transported wholesale to Australia. Then the bill of fare was a revelation to the colonial mind. Besides all the usual " John Bull " dishes, which were served up really hot and on properly warmed plates, there were salmis, mayonaises, suprernes and souffles. People came to "try" this, or "try" that, and, on finding things so good, advised their friends to do likewise. Thus the speculation became a success almost immediately, and now the cofl'ee palaces are crowded to excess daily. All this might be done in Auckland, and we have no doubt the result ■would be equally satisfactory. The only question is, are these plans the plans of the Coffee Palace Company? If so, the directors have chosen a strange spot for their building. The very bottom of Queen-street may not be far away from business and fashionable folk in point of distance, but as a site for a first-class restaurant it is simply an absurdity. The directors must know this as well as we do, and it looks very much as if there were a job mixed up in the aifair.

The Auckland Choral Society are certainly to be congratulated on having secured the services, as conductor, of so highly a qualified musician as Herr Carl Schmidt. This gentleman resided for many years in the Australian Colonies, but finding his health not so good as could be wished, has decided on trying New Zealand for a permanent residence. It is to be hoped that both he and the music-loving portion of our fellow citizens will be benefited thereby. Herr Schmidt Avas formerly Royal Kapellmeister at Konigsberg. He is a member of the Court Choral Society of Schwerin, and the holder of two prize medals for orchestral and vocal music. When in Tasmania, Herr Schmidt was an intimate friend of Governor Weld and Mrs Weld, who entertained a high opinion of him both as a musician and a gentleman. On leaving Hobart Town, Governor Weld gave Herr Schmidt the appointment of special musician to himself and Mrs Weld, and the members of the Launceston Choral Society (of which Governor Weld is patron) presented him with a diamond ring and casket of sovereigns in appreciation of his painstaking efforts. By special permission Herr Schmidt composed and dedicated to H.R.H.the Duke of Edinbnrgh a march, entitled the "Grand Festival. His advent in Auckland has been long looked for, and should be the turning point in the career of the Choral Society. It only remains for us to say that Herr Schmidt is a very agreeable man, with a pleasing address, and eminently "fetching" manners. He possesses plenty of bonhomie, and is a great favourite wherever he goes.

As an instance of the way in which goodnatured tattlers perpetuate scandal and then saddle the blame on to somebody else, the following is worth retailing : — In last week's OBSERVER there was a story about an unfortunate love affair, which took place two or three years ago. The facts were most carefully wrapt up in wrong names and situations, and, with the exception of the persons immediately concerned and two or three bank officials (whom one would have thought ought to have had the sense to hold their tongues), we don't believe there were half-a-dozen people in Auckland who recognised the real actors in the drama. Well, on Friday evening Mr , of the Bank of , who happened to be standing in the Auckland Club with a number of fellows round him, began to declaim against the Observer for raking up the story about poor old 's daughter. Instantly everyones mouth was opened to receive the dainty morsel of scandal, and Mr was good enough to supply the key to the puzzle which they had been poreing over since morning. Once the " cat got out of the bag," it was astonishing how many remembered all about the affair, and could add a small quota of spice to the story. Before night the tale had been re-told in. fifty homes, and of course the Observer got the whole credit (or rather blame) of the exposure. As a matter of fact, however, we had nothing whatever to do with it.

"But," it will be said, "why rake up such a painful story at all." Well, thereby hangs a tale, ami, by way of exonerating ourselves, perhaps we had better tell it. When the Observer was first published some of Auckland's "most respected citizens " set to work to S} rstematically run the paper down. Foremost ainonst these worthies was Pupkins, the elderly hero of the yarn told last week. On one occasion, when this paper and the Lance were tendered to him by a bookseller's assistant, he turned away with a look of pious horror ; and on another he remarked with a shudder that he wouldn't allow such prints in his house. These and other observations from a similar source were duly retailed to us, till at length we began to Avonder whether it wouldn't be possible to give this most determined enemy "a raspberry" on our own account. The aforesaid story shortly afterwards flashed across us, and without further ado we sat down and wrote it out. Well, there didn't happen to be any room for the pars, that week, and subsequently, thinking the revenge rather a contemptible one, we .stuck the sheets away in a drawer. There they lay till last week, when, rummaging about for "copy," we came across them. It happened to be a holiday week, and we were hard up for matter, so, altering the names and localities to make the reality still more unrecognisable, we passed it in ; and but for a bank clerk's garrulousnoss it is our firm belief there would have been no talk about the matter. '

If the blessings and prayers of a multitude of girls constitute happiness, then Sergeant Gamble should be the happiest man in Auckland. His advent as the shoj> girls .saviour has been hailed with joy by hundreds serving in that capaeieity— girls who have to work all hours, and who are afraid to utter the least complaint for fear of instant dismissal. Sergeant Gamble will (if any one can) be able to sec the girls righted, and that they are not overworked and underpaid in future. There are drapery and millinery establishments in our midst who employ large numbers of young girls and systematically impose upon then" For instance, they are screwed down to half-an-hour for lunch. This necessitates confinement to the room in which they work all day ; and it may be imagined what a beautiful odour pervades the apartment after twenty or thirty packages of bread and butter have been disposed of by an equal number of girls. Then, again, there is the Saturday afternoon halfholiday, which is periodically encroached upon by mistresses. The sergeant has visited six or seven of these work-rooms, and, encouraged by smiles from the fair on-lookers, duly posted up a card of rules, and informed the "boss" that they must be attended to or the law would be put in motion. Of course a great deal of talking was done, and the matter argued over again and again, as our friend went through the various rooms ; but he stood all the bounce and fawning in his usual calm way, and after settling with one person took the next, and so on. We fancy the sergeant has his work cut out. The mere placing of the rules within the premises -will not prove sufficient j indeed it is well known that one or two have openly declared their intention to ignore them, and will require a little fatherly supervision.

By slow degrees the Rev. Mr. Nelson has been getting intolerably overbearing and eccentric. It was hoped that a few weeks holiday would recruit his strength and renderhim more amenable to common sense and less dictatorial. The congregation at St. Paul's, more especially the choir, have borne much from their parson out of consideration for his ill health. The extraordinary scenes on Sunday last were, however, too much for even his staunchest allies. We were not present at St. Paul's on Sunday, and therefore can only sketch lightly what occurred. It appears the musical part of the services were excessively bad — in fact, to put it mildly, the choir was utterly demoralised. This being so, you may guess how astounded the congregation were when Mr. Nelson began a series of self-congratulatory remarks about

his. connection with the Church. It was, he said, just eleven years since he had taken charge of the Parish, and he was glad to ohserve that the congregation was full as large, if not larger, now than it was then. As for the service —it wasn't for him to say — "but he thought that musically, at any rate, it was first class. The Press opined that he (Mr. Nelson) was high church ; hut who cared a fig for the Press! There were some vacancies in the choir for gentlemen, but it must be understood that all applicants really must he gentlemen. As for lady singers there were plenty.

We are glad that Mr. Nelson doesn't "care a fig for the Press," because, firstly, it relieves us of any fear that our. observations might hurt his reverence's feelings, and, secondly, it justifies iis in speaking out plainly. We must say, then, that a more arrogant and self-sufficient series of remarks never emanated from a Christian pulpit. Unless Mr. Nelson deliberately deceives himself, he must know that when he took charge at St. Paul's there were some really good singers in the choir, and that now they are gone. Does he really mean to say that the singing on Sunday could be compared with the singing a year ago ? No, he can't mean that ; and who, we ask, is responsible for the falling oil'?

The trivial rivalries which now and then disturb the calm equability of suburban societyare intensely amusing, and deserve reselling from the oblivion of country gossip. Some strange passages-at-arms have been taking place recently in the Mount K. district, where two leading ladies are at present struggling for supremacy. Till recently one of these grandes dames held undisputed sway. No dance or entertainment could be given without her patronage, and her own parties Avere the talk of the district. Recently, however, madame's star has been on the wane. Tiie wife of a leading auctioneer — a very charming and energetic personage — also resides at Mount X., and, hearing that Mrs Blank had said "no party could be given at Mount K. without he?'," immediately resolved to prove the fallacy of the statement. She therefore appealed to her neighbours (who, to tell the truth, were a little tired of Mrs. Blank's mightiness), and, after forming a committee, inaugurated a series of delightful dances, the first of which came off with great eclat last week. The deposed queen is furious. When asked at the rink about the coming dance she said sharply she " knew nothing concerning it," and absolutely was unkind enough to advise people not to go. However, people did go, and, as we have said, the affair proved a grand success. The new monarch has been congratulated on all hands, and promises to make the rest of the series equally, if not more, successful. Meanwhile her rival broods in exile, and it is said meditates giving a ball which shall wholly eclipse " those paltry hops."

We had the misfortune on Sunday evening last to attend Dr. Maunsell's church at Parnell — we say misfortune because, under less solemn circumstances, we should have thoroughly enjoyed his discourse. Had it "been delivered in a. lecture-room, for instance, we could have allowed our risible faculties full play, without offending the proprieties or interfering with the " eternal fitness of things ;' but it is quite too cruel of him to deliver in a church such a sermon as he treated us to on Sunday evening. His opening remarks before commencing the sermon, though not intended to be jocular, were of a seriocomic character. It seems that a fortnight or so back the church wardens caused a leaflet to be distributed, making a most touching demand on the pockets of the congregation, in order to meet the extra expense of a choir-master. Dr. MaimseU repeated all this, and then said that the affecting appeal, so far from increasing the offertory, had actually caused it to diminish. Of course the Dr. 's manner was most serious, hut the climax caused a perceptible smile to overspread the faces of the congregation.

It was in his sermon, however, that he brought clown the house. The reverend gentleman drew a comparison between the different stages of man's present and future existence, and the various transformations undergone by the grub before it becomes a butterfly. The illustration was fair enough, but he entered into a lengthy and most minute entomological dissertation on the various processes from the egg to the grub, then to the chrysalis and last of all to thebutterfly. He even told us how he had the previous day found a chrysalis hanging to a tree, and how he at once attempted (cruel man) to tear it asunder. Eventually he succeeded, and then came the climax. "I found in it," he said, "a caterpillar." This word caterpillar was repeated twice, if not three times. Everyone who has listened to a sermon from the

Yen. Archdeacon knows the irresistibly comic manner with which he dwells on certain words. The first time lie said "caterpillar" there was a distinct snigger ran through the building. After a pause of a second or two he repeated "caterpillar." This sent several of the congregation into convulsions, and one young lady just behind us dropped off her seat. We don't think he could have said it a third time, because, if he had, the majority of the congregation must either have laughed outright or else burst. By the way, although the doctor followed oxit his illustration very closely and minutely, he never told us what he himself symbolised when he so ruthlessly interrupted the chrysalis state of the insect.

Of all those who listened to the teachings of Mrs. Hampson during her late visit to this cityone, at least, will have cause to remember that female evangelist for some time to come. His name is— well, say Tompkins— and he is a broker's clerk, with the munificent salary of £2 a week. Now Tompkins has a desire to rise in the world, and thinking the easiest way to accomplish this was by making a rich marriage, he settled his young affections on the only daughter of one of our Queen-street tradesmen a man of known wealth, expecting to receive a good sum as a dowry with his blushing bride when he was accepted. His attentions being favorably received emboldened him to ask the fair one to accompany him to some place of amusement, and after some consideration (for his pocket), lie decided that for many reasons Mrs Hampson's meeting would be the correct place to visit. His invitation was accepted, though with some surprise at his choice and all went well till the eloquent lady divine having made a touching appeal for the' V.M.C.A., the plate was passed around for contributions. Tompkins, not foreseeing this, had failed to provide himself with anything less than a pound note intended for his week's board bill, so, after fumbling in his pocket awhile, he gently whispered to the young lady by his side: "Have you any change you could lend me, I've forgotten mine ?" "Certainly, with pleasure." was the prompt reply, and drawing forth her purse, to Tompkins' horror and| dismay, she laid a crisp new "liver" on the plate just then pausing before them. The next morning Tompkins laid the matter before a sympathetic friend, who advanced the coin to repay the loan, but Tompkins anticipated six months of the most rigid economy, which will scarcely suffice to make up for that act of what he calls lavish generosity on the part of one who, having such ideas of "change," he no longer considers a proper help meat for him, and if any one wishes to listen to a little choice language let him mention the name of Mrs Hampson in Tompkins' hearing.

An English contemporary is responsible for the following:— "A returned emigrant, who had made a lanje fortune in Australia bought an estate in Hampshire, and gathered round him in his new home many remembrances of the old days. He was a soft-hearted fellow, and had stripped the old ivy-clad cottage in Suffolk of all that was portable, giving his new mansion its time-honored name. Among other proofs of his intention to make his permanent home in Hants, he built a handsome vault in the village churchyard. It then occurred to him that he would move his father's body from the old burying-ground in Suffolk and lay it in the splendid tomb which his wealth had consecrated to the future use of the family. He accordingly drove to the station and asked the clerk at the good's office what the cost would be of bringing his father's remains from Suffolk. The clerk said he could not tell, the schedule of charges being silent on the subject. ' Dives ' then reluctantly explained that his father had been dead many years — that the remains, in fact, could amount to little more than a box of bones. 'Ah! now I have it, sir,' said the matter-of-fact clerk, running his finger down the list of goods till he got to 'Manures — artificial. Guano, superphosphate, plaster, b-o-n-e-s.' 'Yes, sir; here we have it. By Great Eastern and London and S. W. the charge, let's see, will be — two and a penny.' Dives was beginning to get shocked, but said. : ' Well, then. I can order them to be sent, and settle the account here?' No, sir, begging your pardon ; bones has to be prepaid /' And that clerk returned his ruthless pencil to its restingplace behind his ear and resumed his work, as much as to say the interview Avas over.'

Apropos of Gilbert and Sullivan's new work which was to be brought out in London the Saturday after the departure of the mail, a ladycorrespondent writes : — "None hut the actors knoAV a word about it, so as Mr Gilbert dined Avith us the other night, I listened carefully to his account thinking you might he glad to hear about it a month sooner than other people. It is called "Patience :" an aesthetic operetta by Gilbert and Sullivan. Patience is a milkmaid and the only unaesthetic person in the play. This part is taken by Miss Lily Braham (Mrs Barnes) who used to act at German Reeds. There are two poets, one "the fleshly poet," a little shrimp of a man (Mr. George Grossmith), is run after by twenty stalwart aesthetic damsels, the leader being the enormous woman who took the part of Little Buttercup in "Pinafoie.' These young ladies formerly engaged a chorus of deserted dragoons, after bein°idealized by the poet, all dress classically' touzle their hair, and go about playing on classical instruments. Three of their noble admirers, a duke, an earl, and a colonel, are also converted and go about carrying and adoring a sunflower, a tall lily, and a tulip. (This I fancy is a hit at the titles who favoured the Kyrle Society, where Prince Leopold and others in high places, spoke). The other poet, the "idyllic," is described as a " long-lanky-grey-Grosvenor-one-leg-in-the-gravish-kind of a man." Of course they all fall in love with Patience avlio marries the idyllic poet. There is a chorus of converted aesthetics and deserted dragoons, and a patter-song describing the dress of an aesthetic dragoon."