BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 37, 28 May 1881, Page 398

BRIEF MENTION

—The result of the drawing for the Suite of Furniture will be announced in next issue.

— Mr. W. A. Ellis, the manager of the Lake House, Ohinemutu, is in town for a brief holiday.

—Miss Harrison looked exceedingly well in black silk at the Ponsonby " At Home."

— The philosopher of St. James's was immense on tarts at the Alpha Cricket Club Social.

— The most consummate body of old women in existence is the Waiteinata Comity Council.

— Miss Carrie Thomas takes Mrs. Stanier's place as contralto at St. Mark's Eemuera.

— Major Campbell, clerk to the House of Representatives, is on a visit to Auckland.

—Mr. Bedford, of H.M.C., still lies in a veryprecarious condition. — Mr. Seymour George has met with a severe sunstroke and is very unwell.

— Alf Isaacs bad his new carriage horses out on Wednesday. They are a very fine pair.

— Mr. Nelson has returned from Kawau, and looks all the better for his holiday which he enjoyed thoroug-hly.

— Mr. Walter StulVbings gave a small musical party on Saturday evening last which was much enjoyed by a select coterie of friends.

— Archibald Forbes, the famous war correspondent, will be a through passenger to Sydney by the incoming mail steamer.

— The Freethought Association ■would flourish if J. C. W. would but back out of it. As at present constituted it is doomed to a premature death.

— Jim Coates is, we are sorry to hear, not so well. He seems to be much troubled with swollen legs probably arising from weakness.

— " Shark ey " Murray who boasts that he is uncatcliable at football, was easily collared in the Domain on Saturday.

— The new organ at St. Mark's, Remuera was tried for the first time, last Sunday, and gave great satisfaction.

— Johnny Abbot thinks Bandmann's Shylock a lifelike performance, but says he's blessed if he'd have been fooled as easily as the Jew was

— Wickliam judges other peoples' cash-boxes by his own, hence his belief that we had only £6 not £67 in the place on the night of the burglary.

— It is beautiful to note the gigantic type in which the Waikato Times announces that the Waikato 2lail can be leased or bought from Mr. Ivess.

— The bread-and-butter dance given by the ladies of Oneliunga takes place to-night. An " Observer " will be present and note the principal features.

— The following numbers of the Observer are out of print:— Nos. 3, 6, 9, 15, 19, 20, 21, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, and 34.

— At the Waitemata County Council the member who seconds an amendment claims the right of half-a-dozen speeches in reply.

— Mrs. Stephenson and Mrs. Waterhouse were two of the most tastefully dressed ladies at the Ponsonby "At Home."

— When the Surrey Hill men found the Newton boys were a match for them at football they wanted to fight them. The boys were not on.

" — Dr. Hooper and his family accompanied by the Morrows and Mr. Hitchcock, went out fishing on Tuesday, and had very fair sport.

— Rev. P. H. Cornford has accepted the pastorate ;of the Ponsonby Baptist Church, and will shortly come up from Napier to take charge.

— Though it has been announced sometime, many are nod aware that Mr. Jack Stodart is engaged to be married to Miss Cleghorn, of Epsom.

— Miss Blanche Buckland and Mr. Harry Gorrie were married at Eemuera on Wednesday. More anon.

— Mr. Gladstone, since his bad fall, wears a small skull cup. He has long been a statesman of the leader type, and now he is a statesman of small caps.

— Some of the Mongonui people are awfully wild about our correspondent's report of the bachelors' ball.

— The people of Mongonui have at last decided upon erecting a Town flail. It has been wanted for the last thirty years.

— A linking club has been started at Monganui. There are eleven members and two pair of skates.

— The congregation at St. Paul's on Sunday evening consisted of about 350 human beings and one do <j !

— The popular teller in one of our "banks has been frequently seen, lately, in the vicinity of Pranklynroad. This looks ominous.

— Mine Lost of the Mangawai Hotel seems to be flourishing 1 , as he is making extensive additions to his house. This hotel will be one of the best in the district.

— The "Relative of tlie Royal Family " (may heaven preserve his noble person !) returned home on Monday afternoon, haying slaughtered three birds after eight days hard shooting.

— Madame Lotti Wilmot lias returned from the Thames, but is we regret to say so seriously ill that she will not be able to address her friends on Sunday

evening.

— There was a very nice spree at the Whan on Monday in the shape of a cricketers' ball. It proved a great success, and was much enjoyed by the visitors who came both from Auckland and Mount Albert.

— Jack Stodart went out shooting on the Queen's Birthday, and made a tremendous bag. No one knows exactly how big it was, but if you. ask hini no doubt he'll say.

— Is it a fact that there are four cases of leprosy in Auckland? Report saith that two of Dr. Wallis's " beloved Chinese " are afflicted by it, and that two Europeans have caught it from them.

— It is generally understood that the speech of a certain ex-mayor of Parnell at a recent political demonstration was a bid for the Auckland Crown Prosecutorship.

— Auckland is certainly famous for large feet if it is true that the other day a lady, residing not a hundred miles from Renmera, lost her baby, and only found it when her husband went to put on his slippers.

— A correspondent writes : — "lf 11. H. E. of Graf ton-road would kindly return the Scrax) Book, that was lent him twelve months ago, to M. A. A. L., he would greatly oblige."

— The prospectus of the Cuckoo, printed in Monday's Herald as something new, was published in the Observer of the 14th instant — exactly a fortnight previously.

— Key. A. W. "Webb shortly goes to Adelaide presumably for a holidaj"-. It is whispered, however, that he has received a call thither and that if he return to Auckland at all it will merely be to bid a long fare well to his Auckland flock.

— A certain Thames parson preaches the most drivelling twaddle to be heard from any pulpit in the Colony. He wished recently to exchange for one Sunday with an Auckland brother, but the metropolitan congregation politely declined the honour.

— The young man who is at present making desperate love to a widow and her sister not 100 miles from W — k — d-street, had better be careful, as f nil particulars of his former misconduct are in our hands, and, if necessary, we shall publish them.

—Mr. T. W. Marsh left for Utah by the E.M. s.s. " Australia." There he will be able to divide the "pure love aud affection," which he formerly lavished on one woman, between ten or a dozen. It is to bo hoped that there will be enough to go round.

— Though there is small-pox at Honolulu, and it is highly probable the incoming mail steamer will he put into quarantine, no sort of preparations are being made either by the Government or Post-office. It is therefore quite likely that we shall have a repetition of the moustrous delay that occurred last month.

— During an inspection at one of our northern schools recently, the inspector wishing to get the word 'cold " from the children, asked, " "What would you be if you had no clothes on ?" Up went the hands, and iroin the most advanced boy in the school came the answer, " Naked."

— A Mongomii correspondent writes: — "The Observer is sure to ' bust-up ' now, as an Auckland surveyor's clerk, the pugilistic pedagogue, and a select clique have started an opposition paper here called the 'Donkey's Bray.' As usual, a local gravedigger is employed to do the dirty work."

— People who drink raspberry vinegar may he interested to hear that the one thing such liquors are innocent of is raspberries. It is usually composed wholly of syrup, fuchsin, vinegar, and ainyl, together with ether, combined with amylie alcohol.

— When they told Mr. Gladstone there was a new Czar, he answered, "I don't believe tlie ?i«io Czardhj" (news — hardly). The family physician was at, once called in, and advised the old gentleman to take a little soothing medicine.

— Our Volunteers couldn't raise the usual "review " this year. What is the reason ? Is there a lack of funds, or did the Hamilton affair prove too much for them ? A little bird assures us it is partly both causes, but the actual fact that the review was missed is not creditable, to say the least of it.

— Mr. Buckland did not succeed in sellingJohn Smith's racehorses last Friday. Poor John ! We are sorry for you. You must try if you cannot get rid of some of that superfluous honesty of yours, and run your horses, acting on the Quaker's advice to his son — "Make money, honestly if you can, but make money."

— Scene : Government House lawn, archery afternoon. Lady Archer to Gentleman Spectator — " I shot four ' h-onds.'" G.S. — " How unfortunate ! who did the birds belong to 'i" L. A. (perplexed) —" I mean 'h-ends.'" G.S. — "Oh! yas," (aside) "awful bothar that letter H."

— A young lady wants to know who the " tall, spruce, dark young man " is that haunts the furniture sales. She is convinced that he is on matrimonial designs intent, and were his figure less like "linked sweetness long drawn out" and his conceit less noticeable she " would not mind throwing herself in his way."

— Mr. Rhodes' concert on Wednesday night was a most enjoyable one. The feature of the evening was " Ailcen Alonnah " sting as a solo and finished as a quartette by Messrs Forth, Morgan and Rhodes. Mr. Brooks was in capital voice, and Miss Fleetwood sang really well.

—The Rev. W. Page Roberts, M.A., vicar of Eye, Suffolk, and author of many theological woi-ks, is cousin to Mrs. Shakespear, of Queen-street, Auckland. Mr. Roberts has recently been presented with a living in London by the Queen, the occasion being his marriage ■with the Hon. Miss Pitt, daughter of Lord Rivers and sister to the Duchess of Leeds.

— A wen-known citizen writes: — "On the Queen's Birthday the orchestra at the theatre started -with 'God save the Queen/ but scarcely any of the people present took the trouble to remove their hats and at the conclusion there was absolutely no applause. I never before belonged to a British audience which did not rise up and give three British cheers when called upon to do honour to their sovereign."

— The name of the Baroness Burdett-Coutts' husband is now William Lehman Ashmead BurdettCoutts Bartlett Burdett-Coutts. The bride does not address him in familiar conversation by this string of pearls, but slings a gentle " Bill" across the table when she requires his attention. " Angy, any poppet," is the youthful one's method of address at present.

— Several petitions praying for the opening of the Public Library on Sunday are in course of preparation, and being numerously signed. The opposition party are also at work preparing a counter x'etition. It is the old story of the "dog in the manger." The goody-goodies don't want to use the library on Sunday themselves, and of course nobody else must go there.

— "Dan" would like to know whether a man who gets "as drunk as Chloe " on the day of his betrothal to a very charming girl, is likely to make a model Benedict? "Dan" (whose writing is suspiciously lady-like) thinks the tippler a " wretch," and declares that if the lady were his sister he should break off the match.

— Next week the series of papers on " Leaders of Society " will be brought to a close, and our esteemed contributor " Esmond " will commence some articles on " Auckland Belles — Past and Present," which will be of the greatest interest and contain a fund of social information. Some papers on our Local Bodies will also he commenced next week.

— Two fashionably dressed young ladies (?) from the region of Graf ton-road, went into a well-known drapery store one day this week to buy some wool, when the following conversation took place. Non-purchaser — " What is that wool for ?" Purchaser—" Only to knit young J. a pair of football stockings." Non-purchaser — "By Jove he's right in it!!" " You bet," said her companion ;and they travelled Honi soit gui mal ij yense.

— How is it that the Kaipara Steamship Company's fully paid-up £5 shares are only worth one shilling each. ? Fifty of these shares were put up to public auction the other day, and the highest bid was iif ty shillings ! There must be a screw loose somewhere, for the steamers all g© away well filled up with cargo and passengers, and if appearances go for anything, these shares ought to be at a premium.

— In the report of the Howe-street Home it is stated that the elder boys are instructed in the useful trade of shoeinaking. Well, this may be so, but a gentleman who ought to know the internal economy of the Home if any one does, declares that only one lad has beeu so instructed, and that after receiving three years teaching he left the Home and took a situation as /arm boy. Could anything be more significant ?

— It was quite a treat to hear little V. reading the Observer's account of the wig trouble to about half-a-dozon interested auditors in the Ponsonby Club Hotel last Friday evening. Whenever there was a flattering remark made about himself he would look up from the paper, cast a triumphant glance around the room, and say, "Do you hear that?"

— A correspondent sends me some particulars of a concert at Aratapu, at which Mr. C. wielded the baton with great energy and effect. Mrs. L. looked charming, Miss O. danced vigorously, Miss F. (iv a wellfitting black velvet) was universally admired, and Gharlie, of Hauraki fame "spooned" disgracefully. Our friend also asks "where was the infant?" and says Bob's galop astonished the natives.

— The late Emperor of Russia was very steadfast in his friendship, and, unfortunately, his friends wore a very greedy and corrupt set. They were perpetually getting into debt, and he was perpetually paying their debts. In one case, having handed over a large sum of money to a friend to free him from his creditors, he found that none of them had been paid. On this he simply gave the same sum to a third person, and requested him to settle with the creditors.

— Tlie passengers who travel in the smoking carriages of the 11.15 p.m. train on Saturday nights are usually what the auctioneers would call "a mixed lot," but lost Saturday evening they were even more "mixed" than usual, as, in addition to the men, there were two "female wimmen" and some children of the female persuasion. Surely there are plenty of other carriages for women, without their " jumping the claim " of the smokers.

— The latest dodge out is to write to a public or well-known person on some charitable excuse, such as getting up a subscription for a broken-down artist or literary man, get a letter in reply, imitate the signature for the purpose of obtaining a cheque-book from the victim's bank, and then forge a draft for a nice round sum. This amusing and innocent recreation has been indulged iv to some extent by an amiable Wellingtonian who is now enjoying temporary retirement at the expense of a grateful country.

— The comedy operetta of Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan, in 'which not two curates, but two poets play the most prominent part, advances rapidly. The first act is not only orchestrated and rehearsed, but all the singers concerned know it by heart. The second act is brewing. I will not betray any secrets ; but by the side of the high-flown poet is a thoroughly idyllic one, who gives details about sweet Jane, and teasing Tom, and makes a rhyme on ' totally ' worthy of Gilbert.

— The Lance Avould be in a fine pickle if throvigh some lamentable fatality it were obliged to forego mentioning the Observer. A casual glance through last week's issue reveals the interesting fact that there are upwards of a dozen pars, referring either directly or indirectly to the " Snobserver ;" in fact, take them oxit of the paper, and there is (with the exception of some very stale Billingsgate re Sir George Grey) literally nothing in it.

— A grand concert was advertised to take place at Hakaru on Friday evening last to raise funds for adding another room to the house occupied by the Misses Tutin, commonly known as the Parsonage. Eight persons assembled at the time appointed, but as, after waiting half-an-hour, no one put in an ai>pearance (although there were soins first class names on the list stuck up at Sarah's hotel) the money collected whs returned and the door of the scbool-housc closed with a bang. "The best laid schemes of men and mice gang aifcaglee."

— Suicide has attained the dignity of a fine art in the Western States of the great American Republic. We read in a Chicago paper that a mechanical genius of Lafayette, Indiana, recently rigged ivp a guillotine, the knife being held in position by a string. He fixed his head in the groove, set a candle so that its flame would gradually burn the string, then chloroformed himself, and was beheaded when asleep. How is it that the Americans get ahead of us somehow in everything, from trichinosis to a cheerful freedom in commercial morality ?

Scene: The Observer oflice. Enter "most respected citizen." who has been etched in a recent issue. He asks for " Quiz," and then addresses him thus — " I wonder, sir, how you dare to call that like me; it.'s a monstrosity, an abortion, a " "Quiz" (mildly) — "It certainly is not very like you." Most respected citizen — " Ah, I'm glad you admit the failure ; but how do you account for it •"' " Quiz " (still mildly)

— " Well, I don't really know ; somehow or another I never can draw animate." (Exit M.K.O. in a passion.)

— The Lance's wit becomes almost too refined. Its latest develop2uent is to en 11 someone connected with this ofliee Lord Much. We scarcely think we ever heard a more delicate, and withal whimsical, pleasantry. There is an exquisite flavour of Whitechapel and Billingsgate about it which speaks volumes for the author's polish and breeding, lie is evidently no common man, and the mind which could evolve such a brilliant bon mot, and then prevail upon Mr. Wickham to print it, deserves to be taken on the permanent start' of the Lance.

— The public may believe it or not. as they like, but we know for a fact that the real reason Dr. and Mrs. Harvey g-ot notice to quit the Howe-street Home was because they discovered the immorality prevailing amongst the children. The committee didn't want any awkward discoveries. The Home had already got a bad name, and they hoped the new superintendent would bolster up its reputation and convert it into a wbited sepulchre — clean without, and never-mind-what within. From the moment Dr. Harvey blurted out his horrible suspicions lie was doomed. His successor will do well to bear these facts in mind.

— There can be no doubt that several members of the Harbour Board did treat Mr. Aickin, C.E., shabbily ; in fact the remarks passed during the discussion of his letter were simply " ungentleinanly." What there was discourteous in the epistle is known only to the Board and its stall, and the least they could have done with consistency would have been to have heard it read. To refuse such a request showed an absence of courtesy and want of tact which will certainly reflect upon the Board as a full body, and more particularly on one or two members who attempted to be " funny " over the matter.

— In the visitors' book at the Free Public Library a warehouseman's assistant has entered his profession as that of a " merchant." Either this is a subtle joke — too subtle for ordinary mortals to appreciate — or else it is an extraordinary specimen of snobbishness. The young man's employer might be designated a merchant, though it is rathor doubtful if the abdication is, strictly speaking, applicable to him, as although he is one of our principal importers, he breaks bulk and sells goods to the retailers in small quantities ; but it is certainly not applicable to the employee.

— Young lady to gentleman outside suburban church — ''Oh, Mr. 8., was that Ketten, the great pianiste, sitting in the middle pew on the left-hand side ? (Then, without waiting for a reply) — Yes, it must have been; I recognised him by his portrait." Mr. B. (hesitatingly) — " Oh, ah, yes, I believe it was ; he is a handsome-looking man, is he not, and a beautiful player ¥" A suppressed giggle made the couple turn round, when a companion who had overheard the discussion took the trouble tt» explain that Ketten had loft the city months ago, and that the person taken for him was none other than Mr. H., a teacher of music and singing. Of course they both knew who it was all the time, as is usual in such cases.

— It is pretty generally known (says the Cuckoo) that when Mr. VV. S. Gilbert (the witty author of " Pinafore ") and Mr. I. C. Burnand (the editor of Punch) meet in the same social sphere, there is apt to be not a little exacerbation of feeling. The other night at a dinner table, notwithstanding their having been placed as far as possible apart, on Mr. Gilbert making some remark which created a laugh, Mr. Burnand looked up and said, " What was that, Gilbert ? One of those good things, I suppose, which you send to Punch, but which never appear." To which Gilbert made the telling retort, "Well, I don't know who sends the 'good things,' but there is one thing certain — they don't appear!"

— The extent to which some worthy folks carry their ideas of propriety borders upon tre ridiculous. The lady who insisted upon draping the legs of the piano has her counterpart in Auckland. The following story is vouched for by a correspondent well known to many of our readers : A young lady who lives in a fashionable suburb recently had some choice x>hotdgrap'hs given to her which she was showing to a lady friend many years her senior. Amongst them was one of Raphael's Crucifixion of St. Peter. When the elder lady came to this she looked at her friend with an expression of outraged modesty, remarking at the same " My dear ! I don't think St. Peter was so wanting m a sense of what was proper, as to be crucified with so little on.

— The following is a pheasant - shooter's soliloquy as he sat (driven from his bed by the cold) before the dying embers of a fire in a bush whare on the night of the 11th of May last :—

Heaven from all sportsmen hides the Book of Fate— A lesson early taught, applied too late. "Why did I leave the joys that home attend For dear-bought pleasures with a country friend ? The joys of wife, and daughter, and of son, For those I fancied in my dog and gnu ? "Why leave my well-warmed house, my couch of ease, For nikau whore and a bed of fleas ? My draughtless bath-room for the open creek, My youngsters' prattle for the kaka's shriek ? My easy-chair for shakey biscuit-case, My snug retreat for this confounded place ? Is this the sport for which I had to pay My foroy shillings by the Ist of May ? Where are the joys that scenes like this attend ? I now would ask of thee, my country friend. If this be sport, to thus sit shivering here, Then Kichard's sportless for each coming year. [N.B.— To be sold cheap, a double-barrelled breechloader, nearly new (Bland and Son, London). No reasonable offer refused.]

—A correspondent of Vanity Fair writes from Baliol College, Oxford :— " .Estheticisni shows no sign of waning here. How should it, when the son of a iJt k "° wu artist— who may be called the High Priest or the Cult— is ' existing beautifully ' in the University ? btrange sights may be sometimes witnessed in the rooms of the more intense uncler-graduates. Clad in priestlike robes of brick-coloured cretonne, before a bust of bhelley stand a group of worshippers of the divine bard. Jiach swings a small censer in his hand, and as the perfumed smoke fills the peacock-walled and lily-decked apartment, a Gregorian chant with unintelligible words bursts from the lips of the rapt enthusiasts and startles the passers-by in the street below."

—An English lady, accustomed to travelling abroad, and able to converse fluently in the languages of the countries she visited, recently found herself alone in a railway carriage in Germany, when two foreigners entered with pipes in their mouths, smoking strongtobacco furiously. She quietly told them in their own language that it was not a smoking carriage, but they persisted in continuing to smoke, remarking that " it was the custom of the country," upon which the lady took from her pocket a pair of gloves and commenced cleaning them with benzoline. Her fellow-passengers expressed their disgust at the nauseous effluvium, when she remarked that " it was the custom of her country." She was soon left in sole possession of the carriage.

— " I want to make complaint against a disorderly house," explained an excited individual, as he rushed up to a policeman in Queen-street on Tuesday. " Where is it ?" "It's a pub in street." "What can you prove ?" " Prove ? Why I went in there and asked for a drink." "Well?" "And I got it." "Yes" " But when I went to pay for it I found that I had lost my purse. I told him I'd go out and borrow the money, but he got mad and went for me." " Well, is that all your proof." " All P Not by a long shot. I've had my left eye disordered. I've hail my front teeth disordered. My nose is disordered half-an-inch out of line, and this fifty-five shilling suit of clothes wouldn't bring half-a-crown at sin auction. We disordered the bar, aud a table, and two chairs, and if you can't make a disorderly house out of all this you'd better get out of that uniform."

— Says the Liberty: — "People are asking why the Free Lance in Auckland, and the Telegraph in Christchurch, use such strong language about' Socioty Journals.- They say it reminds them strongly of the precept regarding the moat and the beam. Nothing is too bad to say of such papers. They are called ' literary abortions,' that no decent society should tolerate, guilty of gross personalities, lying innnendoes, and unprincipled criticism. This is rather good for the Free Lance, which has criminal actions for libel pending, that bid fair to reduce it to its 'last shirt and last shilling.' And the Telctjrai>h might remember some witless personalities in which it has periodically indulged, before taking up the cudgels for the Free Lance. The latter is sore at having been cut out in its own line by the Observer's infinite superiority in fun, wit, ability, information and freedom from scurrility."

— According to a London contemporary Lord Mayor McArthur's new line at the Mansion House is causing him to be very severely criticised. The other night he gave an entertainment to the city missionaries and their wives ; and the Corporation was greatly incensed. The most eminent personage whom he could find to honour was Dr. Motlat, whom he invited the Archbishop of Canterbury to meet. As l)r. Motfat has been in England for some years, even his friends are amused at the distinction conferred upon him. There are rumours of banquets to many other classes of religious people of what is culled the Evangelical School. The most likely of them is a banquet to the President of the "Wesleyau Conference and the Chairman of the Congregational Union. People are asking " What next ?" and declaiming against the folly of putting an over-pious, and commonly bred shopman in the mayoral chair.

— 13andmann cannot stand ridicule. It offends him to the soul and raises his choler at once. On the opening- night, a tawdrily dressed woman in the circle, who was evidently labouring under the influence of sundry potations, suddenly burst into a fit of laughter while the Herr was speaking out the highest notes of his register in one of the most dramatic situations of " Hamlet." He threw her a look of the utmost ferocity and then resumed his speech. The interruption remained in his mind however, for he eyed that female at intervals through the evening with a significance that could not be mistaken. On Saturday night the gods incurred his displeasure. He was making an exit by the left wing with his arm encircling Desdeinona and his eyes regarding her languishingly, "vhen the gods, utterly insensate to sentiment, loudly mimiced the lovesick Moor. The tragedian abruptly stopped, faced to the front, and with a look which meant business, waited for the next interruption. It was not made, however, and the play went on.

—The first Ponsonby "At Home" of the season took place on Friday evening, and though, the number present was not so large us might have been expected, it was an undoubted success. The hall was very tastefully decorated with flags; the music was excellent, though a trifle too loud occasionally, and the floor in very good order. Among those present were the Key. E. N. and Sirs. Bree, Dr. and Mrs. Bayntun, Mr. and Mrs. Boardman, Mr. and Mrs. E. Lewis, Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Lewis, Miss Lewis, Mr. J. and Miss Boylan, Mr. T. F. Boylan, Mr. and Mrs. Upton, Mr. J. and Miss Bunnet, Mrs. and Miss James, Dr. Elliot, Mr. and Mrs.R. H. Stevenson, Mr. and Mrs. R. Greenwood, Mrs, and the Misses Home, Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham, Mr. and Miss Liuidon, Mr, and Mrs. Waterhouse, Mrs. J. Stevenson, Mr. and Miss Jones, the Messrs. Stodart and Miss Stodart, Miss Cleghorn, Mrs. Logan, the Misses George, Mr. and Mrs. Dowden, Mr. D. F. Evans, Mr. A. Devore, Mr. AY. and Mr. A. Shera, Mr. T. Henderson, Mr. E. Morrow, Mr. Rose, Mr. Holmes, and other ladies and gentlemen to the number of about ahundred. As these "At Homes" are not supposed to be full dress, there were not many elaborate toilettes. — The Waxworks proprietors 'must "have many a good Inugh at the expense of visitors. A most life-like figure, representing a handsome old man seated in a chair and holding a newspaxier, is the first person one meets on entering the room. This poor fellow is terribly persecuted. One evening last week, for instance, an elderly gentleman in a kindly manner turned towards him and ejaculated " Good evening," and, receiving no reply but a vacant stare, said to a companion, " "Well, they might be civil in this x>lace, anyhow." This old party had not been long gone when a lover-like looking couple, who had been senrching for something in vain for a long time, approached our friend of wax, and the gentleman, touching him on the shoulder, asked, "Where are the notorious Kelly gang to be seen, sir?" He received no answer, however, and the young lady then repeated the question in her sweetest tones. Still no reply ; and great was their bewilderment, which happily was at last relieved, when a small boy who was up to the business stepped up, grinning all over his face, and, bowing profoundly, said, " Please, sir, he's wax; the Kelly gang are in the next room." The young couple, though terribly disgusted, left the figure in peace, and following the boy's directions, interviewed the gang of murderers.

— People have been making unpleasant remarks about Mr Barstow.and instituting comparisons between him and Mr. Costley much to the detriment of the former. It appears that our worthy K.M., when he determined to erect new premises on his property in Queen-street (the scene of the late fire), promised to let one of the new shops to Messrs. Dunne, Hall and Co., who had been tenants of his for some time. Instead of doing so, he has let the whole block which is to be erected to Mr. W. Rattray. So much for the promise of a magistrate. Mr. Costley, who bears the reputation of being over-thrifty, promised to give a renewal of his lease to Mr. Thomas Cole, who had been a tenant of his. After he had made the promise, but before any agreement or lease was drawn up, he was offered £50 per annum more rent than Mr. (Jole had agreed to pay him. Of course he followed the magistrate's example, and broke his promise— no, he did not. He signed a lease to Mr. Cole for twenty-one years, declining to break his promise, though it involved a loss of upwards of £1000.

— The telephone is certainly a wonderful invention, and if a telephone exchange is inaugurated in Auckland it will be of great advantage in facilitating business. It is reported that a number of the leading leo-al firms have intimated their intention to become subscribers to the Telephone Exchange, and it has been sii"°-estecl that the two Clubs should be connected with it ° This would be a great advantage to the legal firm of Parchment and Pounce. Their bell would be rung and the reqiiest made, " Connect iis with the Auckland Club," The connection effected, the first question

asked would be, "Is Mr. Parchment junior there?" and the reply, "Yes, sir; he is playing a game of billiards." Then a low muttering sound, something like the word " jam," would be heard, followed by the request, " Ask him to cut short his game, or get someone else to finish it for him. as he is wanted at the office." Oh ! dear, yes, it is easy to see that the telephone would be very useful to Messrs. Parchment and Pounce.

— On Sunday, the 22nd inst, Mr. Alfred Wood, of tlie Survey Department, accompanied by Mr. Stevens — a gentleman who is making a brief stay in Auckland in connection with some business matters — proceeded from Mr Quick's stables in a buggy for the purpose of taking an airingr in the country. It is uncertain whether they went in the direction of Otohuhu or Onehunga, but they arrived, on their way home, at the Junction Hotel about seven o'clock, where they knocked up the landlord (Mr. Ellis) and inquired if he could supply them with lamps for the buggy,, as they had omitted to procure them before leaving the stables, and were afraid the police would interfere if they proceeded to town withoiit lights. Mr Ellis was, however, unable to oblige them, so they went on their way at a smart pace, closely followed by another buggy containing some gentlemen whose names are unknown. They had scarce got one hundred and fifty yards beyond the toll gate, when, in the darkness, they ran straight into a cow, which was in the middle of the road, and the horse was brought to its knees, the sudden stoppage causing the ejectment of Mr Wood and his friend. Assistance soon arrived, and Mr Wood, who was lying senseless by the road side, was carried to the Junction Hotel, and Mr Mai'k Donovan, of Epsom, a brother officer, sent for. This gentleman lost no time in repairing to the assistance of his injured friend; and after procuring the services of Dr. Goldsbro' he, on the doctor's advice, removed him to the Hospital, where he still lies in a semiconscious state. It has been stated by a contemporary that Mr Stevens went on his way without inquiring 1 after Mr Wood, but such is not the case. He called twice at the hotel and seemed exceedingly distressed on learning that his friend was so seriously injured; but proceeded home 011 being told that Mr Wood was receiving every attention, and that Mr Donovan was about to remove him to the Hospital. Mr. Stevens did not escape scathless himself. One of his hands was badly cut, and a forearm so lacerated that the bone could be plainly seen for several inches. He, however, preferred going to his hotel, as he did not consider his injuries necessitated his lyiug-up at the Hospital. The gentlemen in the second trap appear to have been possessed of but little spirit. There can be little doubt that their horse and machine passed over Mr Wood. That might have been unavoidable ; but it was surely within their power to have assisted the poor fellow in some way, in place of leaving him by the road side, where, had it been, later, he might have remained all night. In proof that Mr Wood was trampled on, we may mention that the steel ring holding 1 his keys, which were in his trouser pocket, was found to be smashed to pieces. This could not have been done with the fall ; and his hat, which was sharply cut on the front and crushed on the side, has all the appearance of having been trodden on by a horse ; but not when on his head, as corresponding' marks are not to be found, although his right cheekbone and eye-lid are greatly discoloured, and his nose is cut. Mr. Wood is a gentleman of most abstemious habits, so the accident was not likely to be the result of any carelessness on his port. Prom his gentlemanly bearing and quiet unassuming manner he has gained, the esteem of all with whom he has come in contact, and not only will his gentlemen friends feel sorry to hear of his accident, but many of the fairer sex will sadly miss his company.