NOTABILIA

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 33, 30 April 1881, Page 354

NOTABILIA

— A story in three chapters : Chapter I. — Jones started a grocer's shop. Chapter II. — "His cash ran out. Chapter lll.— Jones followed his cash. — For a good hmch commend me to Ned Hill's ordinary at the Victoria. One o'clock sharp, and the best of everything ready. — When a Chinaman presents himself for enlistment into the regain r army they pull one of his teeth to see if he is a brave fellow. Once in a while they find one who can grin over it. — Mr. McKeown, who has boen connected with Mr. Minetti for some years, has commenced business as a bread and biscuit baker in the premises formerly occupied by the late Mr. Hales. — "Linked for Life" is how the Syracuse Standard heads a marriage notice. How forcibly this reminds us of Byron's beautiful line : "I saw two sausages in the hues of youth." — Mr. P. Williams, the popxilar tailor, of Victoria-street, has moved into his new and extensive premises in the same street, and has now on view a very large and choice assortment of tweed trowsers stuff, etc., well worth inspection. — There is pleasure in contemplating" good ; there is great pleasure in receiving good. So there is in receiving good cigarette tobacco, which by the way isonly procurable at Partridge and Woollam's wonderful '• baccy" emporium in Queen-street. — A good honest laugh at a good honest jest or a bit of sarcasm, rubs out the gathering wrinkles of care. One of Harry Richmond's " corpse reviving eyeslingers " will make anyone laugh at anything or anybody. — What a wretched world is this, which three or four good or great men can reform or shake to its foundation. The knowledge of this fact, combined with dyspepsia, is enough to drive men mad. Avoid both evils by using Hudson's renowned baking powder, which will make you " light and airy as a fairy." — Cannot the Health Officer occasionally take a look into the baskets of some of the fish hawkers. The other day one of these men, near the Karangahape Eoad, taking advantage of the ignorance of a servant girl, sold fish that were, when seen by the master of the house, speedily consigned to the dust heap. — When a man has nothing to love, he falls in love with his very sorrows over the departed. When a woman has nothing to love she falls in love with a love of a dress, and procures one at once on the weekly payment system from Munro and Milligan, in the Karangahape Eoad. — An affidavit is generally pretty dry reading, and if there is anything ludicrous in it it mtist be by accident. The following, however, is suggestive of the possibility of humour even in a law document : — " The prisoner set upon me, calling me an ass, a scarecrow,, and an idiot, all of which I certify to be true." — The most hopeful and sacred work which. can be done for humanity is to teach people, not how to better themselves, but how to satisfy themselves. Messrs. Garrett Bros., the celebrated boot and shoe manufacturers, better and satisfy everyone by supplying superior articles at reasonable rates. — A political economist remarks : "Sir, — I have read in the papers that a child had met its death through swallowing a reel of cotton. This is not the right way of putting the event, having due regard to its most importantjfeature. It should have been a reel of cotton was lost <to industrial purposes, through being swallowed by ajchild. — No. 111, Queen-street, will shortly lose Mr. Goodson, who, finding business increasing, has leased the premises now occupied by Messrs. Hoffman, corner of Queen and Victoria streets, where he will have ample scope to exhibit his large and varied assortment of goods. — A gentleman, meeting his wife the other day in the street, was astonished |to observe the unusually cheerful expression on that lady's countenance, and promptly demanded the cause thereof. "Oh!" cried she, "I've been to see the most delightful man — a fortune-teller. He assures me that lam to outlive three husbands ; and you know, dear, you're only the second." — Turquois is a mineral of a bluish green colour, susceptible of a high polish, and much used in jewellery. Mr. Singleton, of Victoria-street, is not a mineral, not at all green, of a high polish and used to jewellery; and those that require anything in that line cannot do better than pay his establishment a visit. — An Irishman whose case seemed particularly distressful obtained large quantities of "Belief Meal" from the Duchess of Marlborough. He had an illicit still, and this meal he converted into whisky. The idea of defrauding Her Majesty's revenue by means of meal obtained in charity from the wife of Her Majesty's Viceroy is about the best little bit that has been going around lately. — The well-known firm of Messrs. K. B. Shalders and Co. will henceforth be known as Messrs. Shalders and Son. Mr. A. B. Shalders, the new partner, is reported to be a most energetic business man, and his influence in the firm is sure to be quickly felt. Messrs. Shalders and Son have opened with an entirely new stock of the latest fashions, styles, and quality in millinery, dress goods, costumes, Manchester fabrics, tweeds, hosiery fancy goods, etc. Every department in their emporium will be found replete with well-assorted novelties. — An Ohio poet thus sings of the "beginning of man — O sing a song of phosphates Pibrine in a line, Four and twenty follicles In the van of time. When the phosphorescence Evoluted brain, Superstition ended, Man began to reign. — The American Water-coloured Portraits executed by the Universal Copying Company, represented in Auckland by Mr.Henry Clayton, are rapidly finding f avonr in New Zealand. A few recent arrivals of portraits of persons well known in the province are worth seeing. There is one of ovir friend Hitchens, of blood restoring fame — a striking likeness ; another of Mr. Eobt. Graham ; and a third, executed in a very superior style, of the Yen. Archdeacon Brown, of Tauranga. But one most noticeable is a magnificent full length portrait of a lady in her wedding dress, and, judging from the photograph from which it is taken (one of Bartlett's), the picture is simply exquisite. — Browne brought home a new French timepiece a few days ago, and Jones, who dropped in to see it, remarked jocularly that it was a striking ornament. Not wishing to be outdone, and having in his mind a suspiciously coloured eye which Jones had sported a few days previously, Browne retorted with a playful smile, "So is your wife, Jones, old boy." Browne didn't know Mrs. Jones had followed her spouse into the room, but after she had stroked him over the head three or four times with the fire shovel he awoke to the consciousness of the fact. During the six days he has been laid up he has been cogitating over the matter, and has arrived at the conclusion that a woman can't appreciate any joke that is directed against herself. — I desire to impress upon Auckland business men the important fact that I represent the advertiser, not the newspaper proprietor — that is to say, acting as I do for every leading journal published in this and the neighbouring colonies as resident Auckland agent and representative at one uniform, rate of,- commission, I have no motive othc?r than to sup2>ly valuable and reliable information, so as to enable all advertisers to select without difficulty the medium best suited for any par« ticular purpose. Advertisements received for all leading New Zealand, Australian, American, and European newspapers at lowest rates. — "W. Bartleet Langbridge, Associated New Advertising Burean, Stichbury's Buildings, Queen-street, Auckland. „._..