BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 27, 19 March 1881, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION

— No cards, no cake, no carriages, nothing (absolutely nothing) but cuddle ! ! —Has the "friend to the friendless" squared the " rumpus " at Wanganui. —Between forty and fifty converts were run n by Mrs. Hanipson, last Sunday night. —There are not half-a-dozen girls or hoys in he Industrial Home, who can tell the time. — Copper ore containing 62^ per cent of pure copper, has been found at Preservation Inlet, Southland. — Vesey Stewart has increased his farm stock at Mount Stewart by 700 sheep. — Young Wilhelm Bismarck, the son of the German Chancellor, is about to marry Countess Irina Andrassy, the daughter of the Austrian statesman. — Even those who stuck most firmly to old Stickley during the recent enquiry, have now thrown him over. — The immorality at the Howe-street Home, was discovered by the new Superintendent and his wife, within ten days of their taking charge. • — The cheque of a well-known merchant (given to stop legal proceedings) has been marked N.S.F. Take care. — The Libert')/ is publishing George Simms Bagonct Ballads, week after week, without any acknowledgement whatsoever. Bad form, very. — The Wairarapa Maories are going to hold a monster social meeting, and have issued invitations far and wide. It will cost hundreds of pounds. —The Referee speaks of the Sydney Bulletin in a recent issue as, " a little paper, which we should say from its appearance, possesses a largo gym-pat." How cruel ! — The revelations in connection with the Howe-street Homo are by no means at an end. It wouldn't greatly surprise us to hear that children had been born within the walls of the institution. — Who was the elderly party promenading round the cricket ground, last Saturday, with two young ladies ? Not their grandfather surely, or he would have given some of the young men a chance. — There is weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth among the Pousonby young men, just now. The " Amwata " took away one of that suburb's fairest belles, on Friday last. — A well-known solicitor in Dunedin went to the Police court to plead, the other day, intoxicated. The R.M. severely censured him and threatened to report the occurrence to the Judges of the Supreme Court. — The Oamaru gold miners on the Moeraki and Karhigi beaches, have been earning capital wages lately. The sand between Cape Wanbrow and Shag Point turns out to be heavily impregnated with gold. — Thee Southland News gives it as a rumour that Messrs Shaw, Saville & Co. have bought the Albion Company's interest in the line of sailing ships trading to New Zealand. — The Westland Herald and Grey Valley Advertiser is the title of a joint stock morning pa7scr to be initiated at Greymouth. Over 500 shares have already been taken. — The editors of at least five of the leading English provincial daily papers, are Baptists. Atthehead of the list is Mr. Henry Dunckley, the " Verax" of the Manchester Examiner. — The Rev. Mr. Bond showed more pluck than his brother parson at the North Shore, but even he was a little fluttered, and stuttered and stammered dreadfully whilst reading the wedding service. — Papa's agent was able to bounce the poor feeble parson at the North Shore, buthe couldn't bounce the girl. She said "I won't go home" and she diclu't. She said "I will marry him" and she did. — "Eva" would like to know where Mick Gallagher procured the silk to make his " what-do-you-call-thems." She thinks some of the same material might make a good dress. — A young fellow, between whom and a fairsized fortune a single life alone intervenes, has received news by the mail which leads him to believe that the "good time," long looked forward to, is at length coining. — Dr. Munro, of Wellington, has discovered a means of manufacturing a cement, harder even than the Portland cement (which is worth £5 per ton), at a cost of 10s. per ton. The Timaru Harbour Board talk of utilising it. — Cannot the Telegraphist at Helensville find a more suitable hen roost for his chickens than on the verandah of the building. It leads to callers for letters, etc., getting dirty, and very frequently expressing themselves in. foul (fowl) language. — The People's Champion recently orated on Marcus Aurelius, and drew lessons from the life of the philosopher which he hoped would be beneficial to young men. The young men listened, thought of the late revelations in the R.M. Court, and sniggered. — Little six -year-old, going into the Domain, " Mamma, what is that post for ?" " There is a notice on it— Poison laid here." " Who is the poison for, Mamma?" "It is for dogs, my dear." "Ok! Mamma, what funny people they are, to put up a notice for dogs. Dogs can't read." — The aristocratic virgins of Parnell and Grafton-road are sorrowing and will not be comforted, for James, faithless James, auburn haired James has taken unto himself the dearest and " yum-iest" of wives and looks like living and being uncommonly happy without them. —Mr. Tohn Brame, reading Mr. John Blackman's poem last Thursday week at the Choral Hall, was a sight for gods and men. He prefaced his performance with the hope that his reading would do no injustice to the " gifted poet's work." Ah ! Mr. Brame, it was too cruel of you to be so fearfully sarcastic. —Some weeks ago we observed that if the ptiblic knew all that went on at that filthy and festering den of immorality and vice, the Howe-street Home, ■fchey would go there, en masse, and raze the place to the ground. Since then a few facts have been made public. What do you think of them, and wero our words too strong ? —Mr. Tyler, on leaving St. Paul's Church last Sunday night, was run into by young J. T. E. who had caught sight of a fair young damsel and was frantically rushing to her side. Mr. T., though temporarily deprived of his wind, still retained his senses. The sanctified atmosphere of the church still hung about him, and he merely quoted extracts from the " Commination," service and passed on. —A feature of the rejoicings at the nuptials of Prince William of Prussia (which were to last over a week), was a quadrille of fifty couples, the gentlemen being attired as grenadiers of the time of Frederick William I. Only such men as were of gigantic stature, were allowed to take part in this remarkable dance. The idea of obtaining female giants was entertained, but had to be abandoned.

—They were strolling clown the new lover's walk at Parnell. Said young W., looking tilings unutterable, " I wish I were a fern, Louie." " Why ? she asked. " Why—then— perhaps you might press me too." She evidently hated to say the words, but it is always best to nip such things as those in the bud, so she replied, "I'm afraid, dear foov, you're' too green.' The " dear boy " has been in a bad way ever since. — Taupaea's "wake" is likely to cost the natives of the Tauranga district a pretty penny, and the chiefs look very slum over the expense. A gentleman meeting one of them, the other day, asked why he had snch a long face on him. The chief, with a doleful ex- j pression on his countenance, merely slapped his pockets, j saying, "All's gone except the land, and that will have to go too." j — Some weeks ago, a double portrait of the j the Prince and Princess of Wales was published in the Observer. The engraving happened to be a specially good one, and the proprietors of an Australian news- ] paper, talcing n. fancy to it, purchased the block from us. | They, in their turn, appear to have used it and to have sold it to the proprietors of the Weekly News, for, last Saturday.it was published in that journal as something new ami unusually (jood. Verb sap. — The little differences that existed in the accounts of the Treasurer of a local Benefit Society have almost nil been obviated. A well timed threat of exposure and prosecution caused the defaulter to surrender liis property in satisfaction of the cln.ims against him. The most remarkable feature about the whole affair is the air of injured innocence the worthy treasurer has assumed and the impudence which he has brazened the matter out. — A short time ago, the head of a haberdashery firm in Queen-street, renowned for its meanness, wrote to Mr. W. E., the well-known draper and clothier, taxing him with trying to induce their employees to take service with him. Mr. R. replied thnfc he had done nothing 1 of the kind, but that Messrs Blank & Blank must treat their assistants very badly, as nenrly all the persons employed at their establishment had applied to him for billets. — For an aged and venerable joke of the stalest description, commend us to the yarn told in the Star of Friday last (with all the pretended realism of name and place), about the parson "not being wanted till next Sunday." Why these very words form the j letter-press of one of John Leech's most famous hunting sketches, and were printed in Punch nearly a score of yenrs ago. You can see the picture in almost any country " pub " in England, or in Leech's Sketches (First Series). — Two messenger lads in the Telegraph department write to complain of the sneaking conduct of a. certain Joseph W., n clerk in an office in Custom-house-street, who, it appears, sent n letter to the Head of the Telegraph department, complaining that they had been impudent to him, without ever speaking to them on the subject or giving them any warning of his intention. They think this was very ungentlemnnly, and the epistle ends up " He had better insure his life ass we intend to put a head on him the first time we meet him." — Much sympathy is felt in aristocratic circles at home for a young nobleman of limited means, whose wife has been losing heavily at plnv and giving 1.0.U.'s for very considerable amounts. Matters coming to a crisis, the 1.0.U.'s were presented to him, and, for his wife's sake, he did not repudiate them. Gnmbling among ladies is terribly on the increase; and as people who gamble generally fly to drink, I am not surprised to hear a fashionable physician has declared that drinking habits among ladies are spreading rapidly. — The temporary safety of the late Czar from domestic conspirators was purchased at a great price. We read that duriug his Majesty's recent journey from Livadia, ton peasants and two soldiers were stationed as watchmen along each verst of the entire distance from Sebastapol, making a. total of 3(3,000 mpn on foot, with 1700 mounted. As these were on guard two day and a night, it must be supposed that half were reliefs. The cost of the watchmen, after nmking allowance for compulsory service, is estimated to have been at least £15,000. — With the Christmas number of this year's London Graphic was a picture, " Cherry Ripe." The subject is a painting by Mr. Millais of the little daughter of the manager of tlie Graphic, who paid £2000 for it. It would seem that at this price it would be impossible to expect a large profit, but the picture has now bepn reproduced, and is selling at the snme price at which the Christmas number, including the illustration, was sold. The whole issue was '400,000 copies, and these being disposed of in two days, ennnot now be bought except at double the original price. — To the Editor : Bear Sir, — The man who has charge of and sleeps at my office, does not consider it a sin to light the gas there even on a Sunday night : and, as ho does nothing which any honest man need be ashamed of, he declines to adopt your suggestion, and screen himself with curtains. Those who love darkness rather than light will do that sort of thing, but only the very worst type of them will have the impudence to publicly advocate such a Heathen-Chinee doctrine. May I nsk .you, denr sir, to ndd one more to your many kindnesses to me, by inserting this letter in the smallest possible type in the worst possible place in your valuable paper. — I am, dear sir, yours faithfully, F. G. Ewington. , — [Mr. Ewington is " succastic." — Ed. Obs.] > — A well-known Waikato settler, a very j quiet man, who happened to bo travelling down to Auckland by rail, a short time ngq, was annoyed by the noise • which two or three men in the same carriage, were ninking. One of them had been telling tremendous stories about himself in a loud voice, and had tried once or twice to draw out the quiet man, but in vain. At last he turned round to him and said rather offensively. "I fear, sir, that our noise has rather inconvenienced you?" "Not in the least," he replied. "I thought," returned the noisy man, "that you did not seem interested by my stories." " Quite the reverse, my dear sir," said the quiet one, "'I was very much so — in fact, ■ I'm a bit of a liar myself." — If I Avere going to elope with a pretty girl and wanted to do the business effectively, I certainly shouldn't choose a Monday for the marriage. Monday, you see, is washing day, and suggests a number of unpleasant thoughts anent matrimony. The butcher always calls for "that little account" on Monday, and the tax collector is also very likely to make apoint of "looking in" upon you during the early hours of the week. The world is out of joint too, people seem more than usually spitefnl on Mondays, and if your wife wants to have a baby, she will, nine times out of ten, select that day to annoy you by being confined. Altogether Monday is a most illomened dav for commencing wedded life upon, I shouldn't advise any of you to choose it. — A FreethwJcer -writes : " What could possess the Rev. D. W. Runciman to disparage from the pulpit as he did (last Sunday evening) the names of Voltaire, Goethe, Burns and Byron. If he wanted to pick out a few really bad fellows, he had hundreds of religkras professors to select from who have done much worse in the name of religion than any of the celebrities ne names did without it. The Duiiedin Echo, some months ago, published some widely-collected statistics wliich established the fact that the amount of crime in proportion to the intensity of religious profession, or in other words, that that section of population returned as of no religion furnished the lowest per-centage of criminals. —Mr. T. Macffarlane told a story, the other night, to this effect. An Auckland young lady is alx>ut to be married to a well to do young man whose plethoric purse is a strange contrast to his empty head. One of her friends was remonstrating with her, one day, on her singular choice, and exclaimed, " What possessed you to accept such an addle-brained fellow as your intended ?" " Oh !" she replied, "he has plenty of money, and. I have enough brains for the pair of us, so it's all right." These nice little stories are always to be regarded with suspicion, especially when a local application is given to them. That young lady, during the last twenty years, has lived in every little village that sports a newspaper, for it is an old, old story that has appeared more than once in the columns of the Herald and Star.

— Rev. A. Carnck in his inaugural address to the young men of St. Andrew's Association, exhorted them to set apart several evenings, during 1 each session, tor devotion and pra.ver ! The suggestion was received by the young men with immense favour. The honorary secretary, Mr. H. H., is alrendy malting arrangements for the first meeting. Mr. E. W. 8., being the most pious looking member, will conduct the service • prayers will he offered by Messrs P. 0., J. E., J. T.. and others ; ana the Benediction will be pronuncod by the venerable and corpulent J. 8., who has lately joined the Society. Mr. H. H., the secretary, will conduct the sin<*in°- as he is the only one who has a thorough knowledge of the hymn book to ho used, viz., Moody and Sankey. — The recent Dargaville race meeting wasn't half abaci place to contemplate "the noblest study of mankind," viz., man. On the Monday prior to the races, we found a hlnck man with a cage of birds who drew out the tickets in a sort of lottery. He explained to us that he was only a. small rogue, but that the bi<* rogues were expected by steamer. He invited us to play, which we did, and people having no other way of spending his money, patronised him well. The consequence was that he made a small pot. Unfortunately for him. however, later in the evening, he fell in with some local talent and dropped the greater part of his earnings at '' blind hookey." The next morning he looked so down in the mouth that I endeavoured to cheer him \in a bit, and gave him a little sound, seasonable and wholesome advice, plus a nobbier of which he seemed in need. He was much impressed with the sngeness of my advice, but his reply to me that the ruling spirit wns so strong within him, that it was irradicnble. ' He said, ' Well, sir, it's all very well to say one ought to do this, and one oughtn't to do that, but I am a sport, and if I'd only a waistcoat I'd sport the sanguinary buttons." — A bushman at the same races had put his pilo on Ratcatcher and lost. He looked unspeakable things at the horse, as he was led into the saddling paddock, and at last, finding words, he apostrophised the horse thus, " Ah, you brute, you may be able to catch rats, but lam d cl if you can catch horses. " — The owner of Swarreton, a Maori, created some excitement by backing his horse at level money to win the three races for which he was entered, two of these races were handicaps, and at the time of his making the wagers the weights were not, even out. It is needless to say he was soon and freqn entlv taken up, and he was greatly cheered wqen, to the great chagrin of the knowing ones, he eventually landed his impolitic and improbable, but highly sporting wager. — I was much edified and amused, the other day, when travelling in the far North, at a conversation I overheard between a husband and his loving spouse, or perhaf>s, more correctly speaking, between a loving spouse and her husband, in the next bedroom to mine in the hotel where I was stopping. The husband was "on the beer," and his spouse, who, as I said, occupied the next room to mine, had frequently opened the door and and called to John to come to bed. John, apparently, gave no heed. Presently she opened the door again and this time informed John if he didn't come at once it would be worse for him, so he came staggering upstairs and into his wife's room. He was no sooner inside the room and the door shut, than she gave him a piece of her mind ; she called him a low, drunken, lazy, good-for-nothing blackguard, &c, <fee. Her tongue once started, and her vocnbulnrv being inexhaustible, poor John caught it pretty hot. I begn nto wonder what course John would adopt under the circumstances, whether he would answer her back, or whether perhaps in his drunkenness he might so far forget himself as to strike her. Guess then my astonishment when, instead of doing either of these things, he burst into a fit of sobbing just likeachild. Upon this.his wife tried to pacify him. "Hold your noise you fool," she said, " What are you afraid of ? Do you think I am going to beat you in a, strange house." This seemed to reassure him somewhat, but when she informed him, that as soon as she got him home, she would give him such a leathering as he never got before, he burst oiit afresh. Again she told him he was quite safe as she wouldn't forget herself so far as to bent him in a strange house, and again he was pacified. But far into the night, and as I gradually fell asleep, I heard him crying nnd his wife still assuring him he need not be afraid. The funny part of it all was, that the man was a big, strapping chap, and his wife, physically, no match for him, whatever. — An amusing scene occurred, not long since, at an up-country Court-house not a hundred miles from Wnrkworth. Three of the great unpaid were on the bench and the court was well filled, as there were several cases to be decided, of local interest. One of the J.Ps. being slightly deaf and not being ablo to hear everything that was going on, soon got tired of the proceedings, so, to relieve the monotony, he dived his hand into his pocket and produced a pipe, a knife, nnd a stick of Veuus tobacco. Having carefully cut up a pipeful of tobacco and rubbed it the orthodox manner in the palms of his hands, he filled his pipe, then struck a light and proceeded to smoke. The calm and peaceful expression that stole over his face as he watched "the smoke that so gracefully curled," was lovely to contemplate, as compared with his former anxious and worried appearance. J.P. No. 2, on seeing his colleague so blissfully occupied, also produced a T.D., and very shortly he was in a seventh heaven of delight and tobacco. J.P. No. 3 doesn't smoke, and looked unutterable things. However, the public fully appreciated the position, for they, one and all, produced their smoking materials, and in a few minutes the atmosphere of that court-house was of a character not frequently experienced in such places. But who can depict the state of mind of J.P. No. 3, the non-smoker, whilst this gross breach of court-house decorum was going on. At first he was speechless with astonishment, hut after a time he took a piece of paper and scribbled some mysterious words upon it, handed it to J.P. No. 2. The latter, having perused it, knocked the ashes out of his pipe and placed the pipe in his pocket, then passed the paper to J.P. No. 1. This gentleman read it, looked a little confused, and then quietly slipped his pipe into his pocket. On this the public, one by one, as if by tuition, took their pipes out of their mouths. Soon the atmosphere cleared, J.P. No. l's face resumed its anxious appearance, and the court-house was as though this little episode had never been. — There have been high jinks going on at Robert Graham's Lake House Hotel at Botorua. He was heard to boast, some little time since, that he would make it a second Waiwera, and, judging from its present popularity, it bids fair to turn out so. Popping in the drawing room the other evening, I heard screams of laughter and found a, select party indulging in a spiritualistic seance, table-turning, etc. On Saturday evening Mr. W. A. Ellis, the popular manager, gave his visitors a treat in the shape of a fancy dress ball to which many of the principal residents were invited. Dancing was announced at eight, and shortly afterwords 3VIr. Graham made his appearance as a burly Highland chief, with "such a kilt," escorting Mrs. Biddeford (Wellington) in a charming dress as a sister of the Bed Cross society. I Captain Morrow as the Union Jack of Old England, and Miss Eiddeford a facinating Flora Maclvor. Mr. J. L. Frazer looked every inch a soldier as a British officer. One of the prettiest dresses was that of Miss A. Taylor in fern and flowers, as a Woodland Nymph, her sister Miss Taylor making a capital Normandy Fishergirl. Mr. H. Taylor (England) appeared as a Lawn Tennis Player, with Mr. J. P. Court as a Southern Slave Driver. Mr. F. S. Hnmdole (London) had a good make-up as the Unspeakable Turk, his friend Mr. Searle (London) looking quite O.K. as an English Navvy. Herr G. Flugger, (Hamburg) with whip and spurs, in an English Biding Suite, in company with Mr. Wrigley (Taurauga) as a Pack of Cards. Mr. W. A. Ellis (manager Lake House) as a Ballroom Spooner, looked quite at home, uttering " soft nothings " in every feminine pair of ears he came across. Mr. J. H. Taylor, (Ohinemutu) in the costume of a British Jack Tar, danced a capital hornpipe. Mr. Dangy, (Postmaster) as Sir Tittlebat Titmonse, caused great fun. Mr. B. J. F. Edwards (Native Lands Court) clothing his manly form in the striking dress of a Spanish Cavalier, looked a regular lady killer. Jockeys, Cooks, Sailors, etc., made ivp a glowing mass of colour. A few Maori chiefs and chieftenesses.in their native robes, gave a picturesqne tone to the ballroom. Dr. Batchelor (Dunedin) made the most of his 6ft. 2in. in the dress of a Policeman No. 1, Mrs. Bachelor moving all hearts by her correct rendering of La triesti Alsace. Some amount of astonishment and amusement was caused by a genuine Native War Dance, by two chiefs. The unanimous verdict of the visitors was that the ball was a great success, and reflects the greatest credit upon Mr. Graham and his courteous manager, Mr. Ellis.