THE LADIES

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 23, 19 February 1881, Page 232

THE LADIES

AVIS AUK DEMOISELLES.

" Man's love is of man's life, a thing apart, " 'Tis woman's whole existence." Mes CHERIES, — To secure happiness and a prize in life's marriage lottery, be mean, selfish, prudish, exacting, uncharitable, and devoutly religious. Make all the mischief possible between friends, and circulate scandal j and do everything of course under the guise of religion, , and a strict sense of duty.^ If the pronounced exercise of these virtnes be ineffectual to inspire fervour and devotion in the bosom of any man you may admire, then construe any little attention that he has paid you or may pay you, as a marked tribute of affectionate admiration; and treat him as a lover. But if he, strangely enough, (with consummate bad taste and want of appreciation) still avoid proposing that you should condescend to do him the honor of making him the happiest of devotees, then speak to him on religious subjects telling how you yearn to see him in the fold ; and show an intense interest in his spiritual welfare. Coyly intimating to him m a delicate manner how anxious you are to meet him in the realms of the blessed. Try to induce him to become "an anxious enquirer." If all these expedients fail (and he must indeed be stupid and hardhearted if they do), it must be that he, although undoubtedly eagerly, perhaps indeed, passionately, attached to you, is too modest to show his attachment ; and too shy to say what he otherwise would so dearly love to tell you. Under such circumstances charitably help him out of the dilemma by writing to him (reminding him of his attentions and assuming at the same time a moderately indignant tone at his not taking the initiative) proposing to him that he marry you in order to give you the opportunity of making him the happiest of mortals. Don't be deterred from this by any foolish arguments from friends, that such a course would not be delicate or modest or by the fact that it is not leap year. But hook your fish at all hazards ; especially if your good looks are on the wane and your age is getting doubtful. Of course if this dernier coup does not fetch him, why then — "Tout cst perdu exceptc I'honaieur." Piety then, from time immemorial the consoling refuge of love-forlorn ladies, is the only card leit : and the problem of "how to make the best of both worlds" becomes somewhat involved. High-Churchism and ultimately a nunnery is probably the best solution of it. But let me conjure you if you wish to obtain happiness and a prize marriage lottery ticket never be amiable, generous, unselfish, modest, or charitable.