THE LEVEE

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 20, 29 January 1881, Page 196

THE LEVEE

Dear Observes, — As my old woman said it would be the correct thing to attend the Governor's Levee, of course I had to go; and the trouble 1 had to get a rig out was something awful — all the dress coats at Uncle's had been let on*- at 2s. 6d. an hour, and even the uniform!* that had been put up the spout since the last levee had been taken out, and a queer lot these were. I managed, however, to get a pair of unmentionables from Uncle, and, barring a patch on both knees, an objection to come to the tops of my boots, and a general baggy appearance all over, they looked very well. 1 "raised" a waistcoat from a Chinaman who brings oiir vegetables. He said, "It was welly good/ and let me have it for eighteen-pence. It smelt strongly. of bad tobacco and opium, and was minus several buttons, but it did not look amiss. The coat troubled me more than all, but my old woman, like Mrs. MacJStinger, was equal to the occasion. • &he recollected that old lkey Moses had one somewhere, and down she trotted to him, and by a little persuasion, accompanied with sundry nobblers of "Oh, let us be joyful," and the jjroini.se of five "bob," she triumphantly returned with the much desired garment. The last wearer had evidently a predeliction for a strong relish with his food, for in one pocket was half a bloater, and in the other a piece of limborger cheese. I went down to Shortt's and purchased a bottle of musk for three shillings and disinfected the coat, but it was almost as bad, for I heard a fellow in uniform at ; the levee ask if there Avere any musk rats in Government House. I hardly think he meant anything personal, as, what with the bloater, the cheese, and the scent, it would have puzzled Old Nick to have said what I smelt like. However, I managed to get dressed, and at two o'clock found myself standing outside Government House in company with a very warlike looking individual, dressed in uniform, with a large sword, which, he carried in the approved style. I discovered afterwards his profession was to cure, not to kill, and, when I heard him ask the Governor in a confidential manner if he could send him up a dozen bottles of his famous "Blood Restorer,' I knew I had been speaking to the renowned Kitchens, of "Blood Restorer" fame. Ido not know if the Governor accepted the offer. My idea at the time was that "cocktails" all round, straight from Mick Gallagher's, would have made them all look a little more lively. After waiting a short time, and signing my name in a big book, I, with a beating heart, entered the audience chamber, and found myself in the presence of the representative of Royalty, who was dressed in uniform and surrounded by a number of persons dressed everyhow and anyhow, whose principal aim seeme to be to see who could wear the most solemn visage. In a very sepulchral tone the aide de camp called out my name, the Governor bowed, and I bowed, and then I walked out, and the business was over. Now, my dear Silenus, don't you tliink the whole affair a great farce? Could not the uniform and dress coat have been dispensed with ? Gentlemen do not care to be ordered into garments. And, had the notice re the levee been differently worded, a great many more would have attended who on this occasion stayed away considering, and very justly, that the language in which the notice was couched was almost in the light of an implied insult, as no gentleman would approach the representative of our Sovereign Lady the Queen, save in garments befitting his position in society.— l am, etc., Silenus,