SHAKESPEARE SLIGHTLY IMPROVED.

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 18, 15 January 1881, Page 170

SHAKESPEARE SLIGHTLY IMPROVED.

THE QUARREL OF BRUTUS (THE BOARD OF , EDUCATION) WITH CASSIUS (THE SCHOOL COMMITTEE.)

Scene : Board Boom, "Wyudhani-street. Cassius : That you have wronged me doth appear in this— You have sent letters stating that you take over the City School of Wellesley-street as for a Training College, and from my control and jurisdiction have removed it quite ; also my protest you have treated lightly. . Brutus : You wronged yourself so to protest at all. The School is mine ; I only lent it you until I should have means to take it oa. Methinks you should be glad to let it go. A few weeks since, you cried to me for money to help you to keep clean the City Schools. Cassius : I cry for money ! Lan itching palm 1 If you were not the strong and long-tongued Board — Brutus : Forbear, or pnnishmeiit will follow. Cassius : Punishment ! Brutus : Remember how we fought for this school system ! This free, this secular, this noblest tree of public liberty .' How we stabbed Denoininationalisni i How it bled, and groaned, and fell for justice-sake ! And shall we — shall one of us, who led the foremost fight in all the world, quarrel about one single public school ? One school of till the many. I'd rather be a dog and bay the moon than such an Aucldander ! Cassius : Brutus, bay not me; I'll not endure it. I'm a Committee man as good us you, and abler than yourself to make conditions. Why should I give up my largest, best -conditioned, favourite school ? Brutus : Yo\i will do that you will be sorry for. You will let in the thin end of the wedge, and xmve the way for Maunsell to come in. For the Dunedin men, with fees imposed and Pox with all his crotchets. Oh ye gods ! I'd rather com my heart, and drop my blood for drachms, than to wring from the hnrd handa of parent* their vile trash by any indiscretion. You do deny me, then, the Training School ? Cassius : No ; I denied you not. Brutus : You did. Cassius : I did not ; he was but a fool who brought mine answer back. And then your letter might have been civiller. Bice is bo very bumptious. Brutus : You love me not, Cassius : I do not like your faults ? Bkctcs : Come Dick, and nil ye Ministers of Education, and all ye growlers, grumblers at the Act ! And come Denominntionnlism, come ! Revenge yourselves on me— a splintered Board ! Braved by a School Committee ! Checked by a counter jnini>er ! All my faults set in a note-book, conned, and learnt by rote to cast into my teeth. Oh, I could weep my spirit from mine eyes ! Cassius : Come, come, be angry us you will. I'll prove the Lamb to all your Lion. You shall have the school. That is to say, the hulf of the great school. The newest, smartest half. I'll keep the ather — the oldest, and the shabbiest, and the worst ; will that content you, Brother ? Brutus : Do you concede so much ? Give me your hand. And if the letters do annoy you, Brother, listen, why we will cook that Itice, and eat him too. Give him the happy despatch and let him go, rather than vex you. Cabsius : Here's my hand, Brother. They embrace, and the curtain falls on an osculation.