WAIKATO WHISPERINGS.

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 14, 18 December 1880, Page 126

WAIKATO WHISPERINGS.

— It is rumoured that Yon's particular friend, Cuniniing, wrote that horrible account of the former's trip to the Aroha, which appeared in a conteniiiorary. — Mr. Peacock, Dr. Beale's most ardent admirer, can tell an excellent story about a two-gallon jar of kilinarnock. — A friend has drawn my attention to another omission in the sketches in last week's Observer. The village B. is nowhere to be seen. — Mr. Patrick Leslie, after a long search for the " idiot " who recommended that the Cambridge line should go through Hamilton East, has at length found the man, and will describe him on application. — Uncle John, after wearing out the hest portion of his life in the service of an ungrateful country, has at length been sacrificed to appease the anger of the " Swamp god." The obstinate man was last seen making hay. — Cricket, however, seems to have secured but a poor foothold for itself in Wailcato this season. So many of the pillars of the game have gone to Te Aroha. Jim Wood, the best of them all, has been bvisy with pick and shovel on the Mountain of Love for the. past three weeks. — People will have their Christmas sports despite all the goldfields. On Boxing Day something in the nature of horse racing will take place, and a few days afterwards the opulent district of Whatawhata will follow suit. Then will come the Cambridge and the " Waikato " races, Waikato meaning Hamilton principally. — Two . well-known Aucklanders, Messrs. H.B. M. and B. T., arrived in Waikato the other day from the Aroha, having gone thither via the Thames. The description given of the field by the last-named is delightful. When asked if he had hit upon anything, lie replied that he had struck an immense reef — of mosquitoes. — It is said that Raynes is going to put up an hotel at the Aroha. If he does he will earn the gratitude of the suffering Waikato visitors. The news from the goldfield is not very exciting. The report of a new find in the Morning Star took Billy Pearce and F. A. W. out very early on Sunday morning in the midst of the pelting rain. Eaynes has also struck a patch in the " Who'd have thought it." — The Hamilton (and Waikato) correspondent of the " Old Woman" got a fearful sell the other day. One of the partners who manages the "old lady's" Queen-street premises happened to be up here some short time ago, and gratified Von exceedingly by his condescension and praise of the " news " sent diurnally from Waikato. Just as he was leaving the pub. he put an | envelope in the little man's hands, accompanying the gift with a smile so benignant as to cause Von to think it conld not possibly be less than a ten-pound note. Deferring the pleasure of opening the paper, the glad recipient strode towards the bridge with an elastic step, his ruind filled, with visions of what the " tenner " could supply. When near the centre of the structure Ms trembling hand burst the envelope and disclosed to view a tract on tlie subject of " How to love the Lord."

— The "unco quid" of Cambridge, otherwise the members of the " Alliance," are just now rejoicing over the victory they have gained against the giant "Drink," in preventing Archie Clements from getting a license for his new house. — The rain came down on Saturday last as though a second flood were impending. The river rose three or four feet in 36 hours. Of course the garden party at Cambridge was postponed, and came off on the gusty afternoon of Cambridge, the enjoyment of those present resembling very much, the spirit of a twiceopened bottle of gingerbeer. The S.s of Hamilton, undeterred by the rain, arrived in Cambridge on Saturday drenched, but happy. — St. Peter's is not endowed with heavensent lay-readers. I was told on Monday that the congregation on the previous morning numbered n round dozen, of which the choir took about three-fourths. E.S. officiated in a cutaway coat and scarlet necktie. The sermon admonished the congregation not to weep when their brothers and fathers were away on the battle-field, a piece of advice which was quite unnecessary considering there are no battle-fields handy at the present moment. — Tuhi, the murderer of Miss DoMe Avill (says the Waikato Times of Thursday) we understand, plead drunkenness in extenuation of his crime. "We sincerely trust that no maudlin bunkum or Exeter Hall flannel, will interfere with the ends of justice, which we have no hesitation in affirming as our opinion was the case in the matter of the Fijian murderer. Much of the present native trouble in New Zealand may be laid at the door of the Church Missionary emissaries from Exeter Hall, and it is high time this kind of maudlin sympathy was put an end to. — The long-expected cricket match between Hamilton and Cambridge will come off on Saturday. It will be remembered that Waitoa demolished Cambridge a few days ago, and afterwards dropped in for a disgraceful beating by a scratch team of Hamiltonians. It is only fair, however, to state that the Cantabs were \vg all the night preceding the match gliding through the " messy water," as Mr. A. Ward calls it. Cotton had only spirit enough to carry him through the first innings, while Dick Swiveller barely svirvived that period. — The keen sensibilities of a rising yovmg auctioneer of Waikato— a bachelor— were terribly shocked a few days ago. Returning from the Aroha, he put up for a night at a well-known corner hostelry, where he was received with every kindness, jjartook of a good supper and was shown to No. 7. My hero at once proceeded to divest himself of his clothes, but conceive his horror when, having reduced the number of his garments to a shirt and pantaloons, upon looking towards his couch he beheld a female form comfortably " tucked in." To gain the passage and rouse the landlady occupied but few seconds, but that august personage persisted, in answer to his repeated assurances, that nobody was in No. 7, or if so, it must be a ghost, and she would not face it. This was all very pleasant and amusing no doubt, but a cold passage is not the place to pass away a night, and the innocent young man at length succeeded in getting the landlord to enter the dreaded No. 7 with a view to clearing up the mystery, when lo !he brought forth — a dummy, a mere creature of pillows and back-hair ! I'm told that the "funny dawgs " intend trying the joke on the village 8., but it won't wash.