Scandalous Affair at St. Paul's.

Observer, Volume 1, Issue 9, 13 November 1880, Page 70

Scandalous Affair at St. Paul's.

The Rev. .'CM. Nelson excited the .interest of his congregation at St. Paul's on Sunday night, by announcing from the pulpit that the churchwardens had requested him to make a few remark-^ on a subject that had caused him and them, and many of his congregation great pain and annoyance. This prelude naturally arrested the attention of his audience, and for once" the rev gentleman had every soul of his large congregation waiting in hushed and reverential awe for the denouement. He then, in a few well chosen words, announced that the conduct, wljien- in church, of some of the younger members of his flock, whom he would not mention by name, though he had been requested to do so, was so scandalous that he warned them, if the said conduct was repeated he should stop the service and request the churchwardens to remove the offenders from the church. As Mr. Nelson declined to mention names, I will not do so either. Suffice it to say, the delinquents belong to the " hupper suckels." These young people would do well to bear in mind that it is not only extremely illbred and irreverent to play high jinks in a place of worship, but also very "bad form." The performances at St. Paul's may be of a somewhat theatrical character, but even in a theatre conduct like that complained of by Mr. Nelson and the churchwardens would not be tolerated.

I. have received the following letters on the above subject, and in accordance with the OBSEEVER'S rule of letting both sides have a hearing, give 'them- publication. It must not, however, be supposed that I coincide with the opinions expressed therein.

To the Iditqr : Sir,— The rev. incumbent of St. 'Paul's has' found it necessary to " denounce from the altar " certain hilarious worshippers of both sexes, who appeared to labour under the impression that they were in a casino, or listening to one of Byron's burlesques. Whether something in the rev. gentleman's tone and manner might not occasionally tend to create that delusion in the minds of recent arrivals, is not now to the point. The culprits were not strangers, and were perfectly aware that they were listening to what courtesy at any rate demands should be considered a religious service. On the other hand, however, instances often occur in which a casual visitor would require the counteracting effect of a severe toothache, or -colic, to prevent his features relaxing into the broadest of smiles. Sometimes a most melancholy whine, which is supposed to pass for "intoning" — anon, a sentence of the dreariest of dreary twaddle, or the most threadbare of truisms is bawled out in conventional Anglican monotone. These things, however, only amuse the hypercritical interloper, and are not objected to by regular adherents. Occasionally, however, even the devout exterior, of the most serious, undergoes an abrupt transformation. Aot long since a sexagenarian apostle, in a suburban theology-shop, rai«ed a rapid succession of grins on the visage of the volatile, and drew out the "latent caloric " from the faces of the fair, by one of his astounding, though quaint, illustrations. The subject of his discourse was " Christian forbearance." Said he, "My brethren, take a lesson from your poor despised Maori brother." I knew a young married convert who came home one day and saw through the window another Maori kissing his Avire. What did he do ? Did he give way to revenge, and let his angry passions rise. Iso ! he went to his chamber, closed the door, and prayed that the wrong-doer's heart might be turned. Now, there's an example of forbearance which some of you more enlightened Christians, probably, can hardly realise." Which; indeed, they could not, holding as the did, Uthello's antique prejudice against having "all things common" in the matrimonial sphere. On another occasion this eccentric, though orthodox, divine employed as an illustration the aperient effect of pills ! I mention these small matters just to show that parsons themselves have much to answer for in causing a contraction of the risible muscles or a rush of blood to the cheeks of their hearers. — Yours, A Contributor.

To the Editor : Sir, — T n trespassing on your valuable space, I would call the attention of the public to the interesting case of "Kettle versus Pot." Last Sunday evening, November 7th, the Rev. Monsignor Nelson complained from the pulpit concerning the illbehaviour of certain individuals patronising St. Paul's Church. JN ow, sir, although a most exemplary youth myself, I would not hesitate for one moment to smile sweetly at some darling creature, especially if she returned that same sweet smile, because it would not be half so bad as squabbling with the choir, or looking at one's watch while in the middle of a prayer to the Almighty, or charging half-a-crown admission to the "House of God," thus converting a sacred edifice into a concert-room, merely for the purpose of gratifying the vanity and ambition of a worldly would-be man of God. Cousidering the theatrical mummery that's enacted every Sunday in a certain church, I don't wonder at young people being frivolous ; the unnecessary trotting to and fro of the parson, first from the reading desk to the pulpit, then from the pulpit to the communion table, then that ridiculous intoning. Fancy a dying man intoning a supplication to Heaven. Yours, St. Stiggins.

[I am afraid St. Stiggins ia one of the ofTenders. His letter is viciously savage, and the reverse of sensible. — j?d. Obs.]

— A good story is being told at the expense of a well-known citizen of Auckland. He was at a banquet the other evening, and his obfuscated condition was so apparent that it became the theme of conversation round the table. The gentleman spoke to every toast, and was as noisy as can possibly be iimgined. Towards the close of the dinner, when he was really tipsy, he called for another bottle of champagne. A scheme was quickly concocted. When it had been given to him and the cork drawn, another champagne bottle was filled with water with a glass of brandy in it, and when Mr. was not looking in the direction of his beverage, it was removed and the bottle of water placed there instead. To the astonishment of all, the old man was so far gone that he could not detect the fraud, and amidst unsuppressed bursts of laughter from all parts of the table, he unwittingly drank the remainder of the toasts with a weak solution of brandy and water.

— The banquet given on Tuesday night byMessrs. C. C. McMillan and F. Larkins, in c lebration of the installation of the senior member of the firm as Lord Mayor of London, was an unusually brilliant affair. The Insurance Hall had been artistically decorated for the occasion, the speeches, of which there were a large number, were of average merit, the music was pleasing and the "menu" was capital. The wines, however, were the principal feature. They were really fine — vintages, in fact, very few of the company ever tasted such liquor before.

— Chinamen in general get drunk privately, and do not, as a rule, make a public exhibition of their follies. They are, moreover, very economical in their mode of doing business in the spirit line, carefully eschewing beer. They club round, and one, the shrewdest of their number, is commissioned to make the liquid purchase. They then indulge in secret, and if they feel the head ail'eeted by a too frequent repetition of the overpowering draught, they repose on the Chinese figured S"fa until sufficiently recovered to walk abroad. Ah Ji got drunk' on Monday week, and stumbled into the station yard, falling into the arms of Constable McDonnell. He exclaimed " Drunk, drunk ; woman give Chinaman giu — cased gin." Ah Ji was locked up for the night, and slept soundly, but next m-rning, to the surprise of the constable, he said he was not guilty ; " was not drunk." An interpreter was sent for, and after waiting some time, the offender said, "Me speak English; don't want inte-preter ; was not drunk; head was bad, fit. iit. " Tie case was proved, and the Chinaman fined, being the first of the celestials of this city on whom such a penalty for Mich an offence has been imposed.

— There are many ways in which mean men can show the world the peculiar characteristics which render them remarkable. Some are content with betraying their nature on special occasions, but others adopt a syst matic course of conduct. ,' One of the latter class is the "honourable" director, of one of our local insurance companies. He is a man of means, and this makes his meanness inexcusable. The manager has a lioly horror of him, the clerks detest him, and the shareholders — well, they tolerate him because they think he possesses some occult inllncnce which he might exert to the detriment of the company if lie were deprived <if his position on the board of directors. The most withering taunt which one clerk can hurl at another is to denounce him as being as '"mean as old X." They haye 'a story that A. one day invited his friend G. to his house, and then charged him for the meals of which he had partaken. Whether this be true or not I can't positively say, but it is a positive fact that A. uses the company's pens, ink, and. paper for his correspondence ; that he writes all his letters in the company's ollice, and that on a recent occasion he openly boasted that since he had been appointed. a director he had saved at least seven and sixpence per annum by this means.

— Employers of labour arc like ambitious generals, prodigal of the lives of their men. This finds an apt illustration in the case of the man who met his death a few days ago while discharging cargo from the ship " Waikato. " He was hoisted from the hold on the top of a huge load, under which the engine puffed and groaned. His footing, poor fellow, was ■ very precarious. A sling slipped, an! he fell and received injuries that culminated in death. If the gear had given way, and that ponderous load of iron had fallen on top of him, he would have been crushed into pulp.

— Apropos of "Quiz's" etching'of Mr. Reader "Wood, a story lias reached me, which is worth repeating. In the early days of Auckland, Mr. Wood loft his measure with a shoemaker for a pair of sho 'S, which were to be finished in a fortnight. Calling at the expiration of that time, Mr, Wood asked for his .shoe- I . ".Sorry they're not done, sir, but you see the wo ither's been too bad to work at them." " Weather ! What in the name of goodness has the weather got to do with making a pair of shoes?" a<<kcd the indignant legislator. " Well, sir, the fact is, my shop isn't bioenough, and I have had to build them outside !" What Mr. Wood's reply was, history sayeth not.