WHY LOVE TURNS TO HATE.

Thames Star, Volume LIX, Issue 16656, 28 November 1925, Page 9

WHY LOVE TURNS TO HATE.

MOOD PASSES, CALM REIGNS. WHEN PEOPLE LOVE. “I luite you,” says the young wife to her husband after their first quarrel, and for the moment she means it. Later on she learns to keep her sudden hatreds secret (says a writer in the Daily Mail). Hatred is an emotion which cannot be avoided by people in love. It is caused by a sudden, blinding flash of self-revelation that lays bare the essential loneliness of existence. People in love have a habit of adding their lown ideals to the characters to those they love, and the occasional discovery that there is about them something antagonistic to their own personalities is an unforgivable betrayal. A woman of culture will very often marry a man of the sturdy, strongnecked type because she admires the brilliant career he is making by sheer vigour and determination. At times she is sure to hate his strength and lack of “sloppiness” and his grip of the essential earthly things; just as he in irritable moments will despise her fasidious i-efinement. !

Yet neither is disloyal and both are aware of the depth of the other’s love. When the mood passes they are as affectionate as ever. The distinctions of personality come as a shock to most people in love. When the sense of unity is most positive there come moments that throw into relief the fundamental differences that make the Ego. These are the moments of hatred. They occur to all who love. The doting mother whose tiny son is persistently’ rude to someone she esteems is as capable of sudden hatreds as the wife who discovers in her husband a fondness for placing bis stockinged feet on the mantelpiece. What could be overlooked in other people is unforgivable in those nearest and dearest. There are traits in their characters that are irreconcilable with one’s own nature. They do things that one could never possibly do oneself. A touch of liver or a depressing day is sufficient to make those differences assume a magnified importance, and the loved one is hated for not being what he is expected and imagined to be. There is no remedy, but fortunately the illusion of unity 7 and concord is hard to break and the spasms of hatred do not last.