Page 1 Advertisements Column 7

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3162, 7 April 1879, Page 1

Sympathy Wasted.—A lady who saw a sailor beaten and pounded by a brutal captain was made so ill that she remained below deck for days. When she once more made her appearance on deck the sailor was at the wheel. In great sym: pathy she went tohim, full of the memory of the dreadful event, and said, " How is your head, to-day p " He had himself forgotten the little circumstance, and glancing at the compass, cheerfully re« plied, " West nor' west, and running free, madam." ' ■ That's What He Wanted.—His hair having been cat, and various offers of fancy soap, hair restorer, and so forth %f having ,been declined, with and without thanks, the barber says unto him, "Will your hair do that way, sir ?" The customer contemplates himself with care in the mirror, then returning to thejacrificial chair and enveloping himself in the calico wrapper, replies, solemnly, "Just a leetle longer." From Thistledom.-—A minister in the south of Scotland had a parishioner, we are told, who, to show her affection for her pastor, sent him every morning by the hands of her daughter, a couple of what she wished him to understand were new-laid eggs, for breakfast. The eggs on beinc; delivered were .generally warm, as if just taken from the nest; but one morning the minister's maid, on taking the eggs, observed, " The eggs: are no warm the day, Jeanie; are they no' fresh?" "Ou, ay," said the girl, "they're quite fresh, but my--Blither couldna get the cat to sit on them this morning." ■....:■■< Truo Happiness.-— A friend says that no man can lenow what true happiness is who lias never been married ■an-t-hsid'a motherin 1-. wauil ii \vifo's;itint living in the home Viith him, and Ikon saw them die. ■