TABLE ETIQUETTE FOR MEN.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIV, Issue 109, 28 October 1911, Page 10

TABLE ETIQUETTE FOR MEN.

Etiquette may l>e described as tlie oil that greases the machine®" of social life. It is the passport of good society. Its assiduous practice conduces not only to the comfort of one's friends, relatives and acquaintances, but, what is far more important, also gives rise to a pleasant glow of self-satisfaction. In no circumstances is the'practice of etiquette mora essential than when at table. Many people who are perfectly polito at lunch and dinner, have at breakfast the manners of a savage. This should not be. For example, it is very had form to sniff loudly and suspiciously at one's egg. It is disturbing to other people. It arouses in them feelings of apprehension which may be quite groundless. If there is anything wrong with your egg, drop it under the table when no one is looking.

Marmalade should never be . spread with the fingers. You might be called upon to shake hands with the rate-col-lector or some other caller during the morning, and many fastidious people have a rooted objection to shaking a hand that sticketh closer than, a brother."

Drinking from the saucer is not only a mark of ill-breeding, but also an indication of grea/t thirst, an early morning malady best concealed.

Make as little noise as possible whilst eating. It is inconsiderate to drown the conversation. If you are breakfasting alone—which is to be recommended —you may, of course, make «. noise like ft sausage-machine, if you are so disposed.

Endeavor not to laugh when you are drinking. Tea and coffee stains are not easily removed. "Never say, "What's this?" when you know perfectly well what, it is. If you don't like it, give it to the cat. If void have no cat, put it. in the stock-pot. If you have no stock-pot, throw it over the garden fence.

When lunching in public avoid looking intently at your neighbor's plate, He has to eat wJi&t'g oil" it, I 'hot you Keep your eyes fixed on your own plate, or the waiter may,-<tl|ip>k you have finished,, and snatch it <Uay. Do not indulge too freely in the hore (l'oeuvres. Remember there are »%« things to followj'and.it is jtist u tM to leave room for them ,r^"

Never unbutton yc r wa stcpat wh«» halfway through a meal It is to let out a strap st the back befoii entering the room.

Never haggle iijwut the, hill. more than you clan pay, wait until' you can speak to the manager done. IJ you {tfye"' ®derch«%ed, pay, and, lea*# the'Ve'itaUrant as ( '|uicklyj;as possible. % A careful thefre i little, pointa will not only mj&!e the Jif# more sniooth, but-Will also 1 ; you i# the estimation of your friends and r* latiyes. ■ - •« •

If you cannot accept an invitation in dinner, do not write your regrets on the back of a pool check with It blue pent)). This is noW regarded as vulgar. A sufficient note to'your host informing h™ that your washerwoman refuses to Wlent is sufficient. *

On sea tinjf''yourself at the table, dnv off your gloves, and put them ( in yopi lap under your naplqn. Do not put them in the gravy, as it would ruin the gloves and cast a gloom over the gravy, If you" have just cleaned your gloTft with benzine, you might leave them out in the front yard. If you happen to drop gravy on you* knife blade, back near the handle, do aot run the blade down your throat to remove the gravy, as it might injure you* epiglottis, and it is not considered embonpoint, anyway. When you are at dinner, do not up a raw oytier on your fork and playfully ask your host if it is dead. Remarks about death at dinner are ii very poor taste.

Peare should be held by the wteran usi peeled gently but firmly, not as though you were skinning a dead horse. It is not bon ton.

Oranges are held on a fork while befog peeled, and the facetious style of iquiriing the juice into the eye of you* houtess is now au reroir.

Stones in cherries or other fruit shouM not be placed'upon the tablecloth, but slid quietly and unostentatiously imts the pocket of your neighbor or noiselessly tossed under the table.

If you strike a worm in your fruit, do not call attention to it by mashing it with the nut cracker. This is not only uncouth, but it is regarded in th# best society as blase and exceedingly vice versa.

Macaroni should be cut into short pieces and eaten with an even, graceful When you want the last drop i* motion, not absorbed by the yard.

the bottom of the glass do not throw your head bank and draw in your breath like the exhaust of a bathtub in order to get the last drop, as it engenders a feeling of the most depressing melancholy among the guests.. After eating a considerable amount, do not rise and unbuckle your vest strap in order to get more room, as it is exceedingly au fait and dishabille. [f by mistake you drink out of your finger bowl, laugh heartily and make some facetious remark, ' which will change the course of conversation, and renew the friendly feeling among the members of the party.

Ladies should take but one glass of wine at dinner. Otherwise there might be difficulty in steering the male portion of the procession home. Do not make remarks about the amount your companion has eaten. If the lady who is your companion at table, whether she be your wife or. the wife of someone else, should eat quite heartily, do not offer to pay your host for his loss, or say to her, ''Great Scott! T hope you will not kill yourself because yiiu have the opportunity,'' but be polite iuul gentlemanly, even though the food supply be cut off for a week. If one of the gentlemen should drop a. raw oyster into his bosom, and he should have trouble in fishing it out, do not make facetious remarks about it, but assist him to find it, laughing heartily all the time.