OUR TRAWL NET.

Colonist, Volume LII, Issue 12727, 20 December 1909, Page 4

OUR TRAWL NET.

Apropos of tlie Polar quarrel, the New.Y ork "Sun" has the following:

Jonah stepped ashore. "I left my records in the whale," he observed. "Anybody who wants to see them can go after them. '_' I* .-W-S..K no-tied -tlia.-fc non« CL**«s-fcion<i<3. his BSploit. First Johnnie: "What caused hiuu. to renounce theosophy?. The last time I saw him.he was claiming to be the reincarnation of his grandfather." Second Johnnie: "Yes, he firmly i . belfeved he was the reincarnation of ] his grandfather, but people began P dunning him for money they had lent ' the old gentleman 50 years ago, and j he dropped the ' theory like a hot | potato." , An old Scotch- woman wished to sell" her hen to a neighbour. "But tell me," the neighbour said, "is: she a'thegither a guidhe'n? Has she nae iauts, nae fautsat a 1 ?" "Aweel, Margot," the other old -woman' admitted, -"she has got. one faut. She will lay an egg on the Sawhath day," "Little hoy?' asks the well mean- • ing reformer, "is that your mamma i over yonder with the beautiful set of i furs?" ■"""■ . ! - "Yes, sir," answers the •bright Mad. ; - - -:•■" ;-■■"•. J "Well, do you know what poor ani- • mal it is that has to suffer in order S' that" your mamma might .have ' the ; furs with which she adorns herself so proudly?" " "Yes, sir. My papa."

It was a dark night. A man was

) riding a bicycle with no -lamp. He : came to a cross road, and did not know which way to turn. He felt in his pocket for a match. He found but . one.- Climbing to the top of the polo he lit the match carefully and in the glimmer read : "Wet Paint." —The "Argonaut." I _ ' Milly: "Kitty got the prize for a dinner at our cooking class." Tilly: "How proud she must bo! What is it?" - ■ JVlilly: "A most useful book: 'First Aid to the injured.' " A South African farmer has just received from England, among other farm utinsels, a milking stool. This : he^gave to the Kaffir, whose duty ;it ; was to milk the cows, with strict in- : junctions to use it. i The next morning the Kaffir returned from the cowshed, bruised and ■ battered, but with an empty pail. In j answer to his master's demand for an j explanation, he sadly replied : "Him berry nice milk stool, but de ! cows won't sit on it." There was once a man who was very ' fond of playing practical jokes, hut ! stammered very badly. One day he ! was walking -with a friend by tlie ' Thames, when they met an Irish-sailor wiih-»an Indian parrot in a cage. "W-watch me," said the joker; "1 ; w-will have some f-fun w-w-with this m-man." Stopping tho sailor, he asked : : "M-m-my good man^c-can that p-p-p---parrottalk?" "Well," said the Irish sailor, "if ho 1 couldn't talk any better than you can . I'd wring his blooinin' neck."" j _ An officer on board one of his Ma- . jesty's ships was about to reward an Irish sailor for some- act of bravery. "Now, my lads," said he, "I am proud to pan this medal on the bread; of Patrick Flhm arid lodge £5 _±o his credit in the bank as a reward for his great pluck.' ', Pat blushed, looked at .his superior officer, and said :" "If it's all the same to you, sir. I'd rather you'd pin the £5 note on my chest and lodge the medal in the bank." A gentleman .was walking down a street, when he saw a boy -place a large apple on some steps and" then retire some distance away. Tlie gentleman, went up to him and said: "My boy, do you not know that you are doing very wrong. in placing that apple on those steps ? Some poor . ' boy might be tempted to steal it." "That's what I want him to do," said Tommy. "Why?" said the gentleman. "Because," said Tommy "I've hollowed the inside out and filled it with I mustard."

the • bright