Page 7 Advertisements Column 1

Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 55, Issue 3928, 19 July 1937, Page 7

$ < In 1 n Il IWR I . Welcome to the Springboks Scene: Any Town Hall. Dramatis Personae : Civic Dignitaries in Review Order. Bankers in Dungarees. Concourse of Citizens in taxpayers’ weeds. Enter: Lord Mayor, Aidermen, Burgesses, and entourage of “ Yes-Men ” and “ Me-Too*s ” girding their tongues to hurl speeches at their victims. Speech: “Unaccustomed though lam to public speaking (tumultous applause) .... your apple-sauce .... I mean, your applause, proves me to be an importtant patch in the seat of Government.... This outpost this julep of the Empire’s far-flung bottle-line (frenzied and prolonged cheering) .... er—that is to say, some outlaws have described Rugby as a crazy game. Let us nail the lie direct by annihilating the vicious canard Rugby is not a crazy game it is a sensible game surrounded by crazy people. (Thunderous acclamation) "To you who play this glorious game, I have two words of advice. ‘Be game’— but not anybody’s, and even if Britannia rules the waves she will not waive the rules. Hence the Bottle Cry of Freedom known as ‘Time, Gentlemen, Please.’ “In conclusion, remember the line umpire's definition that ‘a straight line is the shortest distance between two pints’, and that in the Rugby Scrum between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. position is worth 9 pints of the law. Never launch a counter attack, but always attack the counter lunch, and if in between Civic Receptions you manage to play a few games and enjoy a few noggins of Tiger’s Milk, you will have contributed a glorious page to the history of the ‘ Empire' and every other Welcome Inn.” fl ' Tinicirii Copyright THE STUFF TO HOT UP THE TROOPS TAI49-167 Bottled with loving care by JOHN REID & CO. LTD., Anzac Avenue, Auckland.

XSSkv'jQk Gives prompt relief. Price 5/- or 5/6 posted. At all store* or direct from S. LISSAMAN, KAPONGA, TARANAKI 3 Stocked By: C. T. RICKIT & SONS, Te Awamutu.

The young doctor was trying to cheer up his lugubrious patient. “Four years ago,” he said, “I had exactly the same symptoms as yours, and look at me now!” “Yes,” replied the patient, “but what doctor did you have?”